The Day He Fell In Love with Me
by TheLyricsAreMyStory
Summary: This was originally a one-shot, adapted into a longer fanfiction of Carla's pregnancy with Nick and how she copes with the stresses of being a mother.
1. Chapter 1

"Gotta say, I'm relieved to not have to face Johnny and the clan today." I yawn as I walk out of the bedroom and am met by Nick, who is sat on the sofa, texting on his phone. "You in work today?"

"Supposed to be." He shrugs and I immediately pick up on his mood. He was distant, for a reason beyond my imagination because when he had got out of bed, kissing me and telling me he was off to make breakfast, he certainly wasn't like this. I hesitate before going to sit down next to him. He doesn't move, staring blankly at his phone screen.

"Nickyy..." I whine, moving closer to him. This was my way of getting forgiveness. I acted like a child because he found it endearing, which would help in this situation. "What's the matter?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He suddenly mutters and I frown, trying to grasp what he was on about.

"...Tell you what?" I suddenly retract from his gaze. He sighs before putting his phone down on the table, pulling a pregnancy test out of his pocket. Oh shit.

"I found this in the bathroom bin." He raises his eyebrows at me and I was relieved to see that perhaps he wasn't as mad at me as I originally thought he was.

"...You know..." I cough. "I've peed on that thing and it doesn't have a lid on it so-"

"Carla?" He cuts me off and I see his eyes, full of concern and warmth. I freeze for a moment until his face breaks into a smile as the silence confirms it for him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just... Didn't know how." I bite my lip and he shakes his head at me. I take the test off him and shudder slightly at the two red lines that appear. I had tried to shut it out my mind until now. I knew I had to tell him at some point and I hadn't wanted him to find out like this.

"How long have you known?" He asks me, taking my spare hand in his. "No, how far gone are you?"

"Twenty questions Nicholas." I try and grin but my voice is shaky, which he picks up on as I put the test down on the coffee table.

"Hey." He rests a finger under my chin and gently tilts my head upwards to place a kiss on my lips. Then he bends his forehead so it's level with mine.

"I've known for two weeks." I whisper. "But I don't know how long I've been pregnant for because I've been too scared to think about it."

"You don't have to be scared." The words escape his mouth because he knows how much I need to hear them. "So you haven't told anyone? Not even Chelle?"

"Not even Chelle." I confirm, which I'm glad about because at least he was the first person to know. "...I just thought, after last time, it..."

He just nods, holding out his arms for me so that I could curl into his side. He wraps them around me and we lie there for a while, thinking about the situation we were in.

"I'm glad you know." I mumble into him.

"So... What do you want to do?" He dares to ask and I look at him.

"I don't know!" I exclaim, suddenly, as it's the question I have been contemplating constantly for the past two weeks.

"Ok, ok."" He soothes, laughing slightly at my response as I cuddle back into him.

"You know last time?" I quietly whisper into him, hating to bring up the topic of my miscarriage. "I didn't want children... Until I knew... Her."

"I know." He nods. It was a subject we had talked about many times in our darkest hours, as he knew exactly how I felt.

"She grew inside me..." I continue and he just held me tighter as I spoke, tears escaping every now and then and rolling down my cheeks. "I saw her on the screen... The midwife was pointing out her head, her hand, her leg... She was my baby girl."

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Nick kisses me on the forehead, rocking me gently as he lets me cry. Never had I encountered a man as genuine and appreciative as he was. I didn't deserve him, at all, but for some reason he hadn't given up on me. "I always wanted children."

"I remember you saying." I am easing a bit now, feeling the safety of him around me.

"Do you know what you replied with?" He asks me and I don't even need to think about this.

"You'll have them." I respond and the following words escape my mouth before I could stop them. "Bet you weren't thinking you'd have them with me though."

"I was." He replies, and it shocks me because it was not what I was expecting. I frown before tilting my head to look at him. He blushes slightly at this as he studies the confusion in my eyes. I was expecting him to back track, make up some excuse but he doesn't. "I remember sitting with you at the table in the bistro. It broke my heart to hear you talking about... Her and how you felt. I remember thinking how perfect we would be together and the life we could make..."

"Nick." I let out a quiet whimper, staring up at him, my eyes wide. He had never told me this before and it filled my heart with warmth to hear him say it. To hear how much he appreciated me. How much he thought of me.

"You probably think that's stupid." He suddenly snaps back to reality and I shake my head, giving him the reassurance to continue. "You know what?"

"What?" I reply, linking my hand with his.

"I think I fell in love with you then." He admits. "When I heard how much you'd been through, how much pain and suffering you'd experienced. I admired you for getting through it. In fact, it motivated me to do the same with our miscarriage... I just wanted to hold you and say it would be ok and that you would have been the best mother in the world."

I don't have anything to respond this. Partly because I was lost for words and partly because I didn't have anything more beautiful to follow it.

"But you will be, you know." He tells me and in that second I believe it. Hearing the words come out of his mouth made me understand, realise that I could be a mother.

"Are we going to do this?" I stare at him straight as he places a kiss into my hair.

"Are we?" He smiles at me, gently rubbing his hand on my stomach and I place mine in top of his.

"You know what?" I repeat his earlier question and he grins. "I couldn't imagine anything I would want more."

"I love you." He finalises.

"I love you too." I say, and it's the truth, and I've never meant it more than I do in this moment, right now. "...Now can you make me that breakfast you promised because junior and I are starving!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Oi you, you should not be doing that!" I hear Nick's friendly tone from behind me as he slaps me on the bum with a tea towel. I pause washing the dishes for a second as he wraps his arms round my waist. "How's mummy feeling this morning?"

"A bit sick but a little better now." I smile as he kisses the side of my head.

"Anything I can do to make it better?" He asks.

"Turn up to the scan later." I laugh. We were going for our first baby scan later today and I was bricking it, excited as I was.

"You know I will. I wouldn't miss it for the world." He sighs, taking the sponge off me and gently moving me out the way. "Sit down, I'm doing this."

I know I have no choice but to leave the work to him, so instead I take a seat at the table, nursing my brew on my stomach.

"Peter missed our first scan." I remind him, which I'm sure I had done a million times before. However it doesn't seem to irritate him, he can tell I am nervous, as I'm sure he was too. "...Our only scan."

"Yeah well Nicholas is not missing this scan. Or any of the others." He winks at me and I giggle. "It'll be fine baby, I promise."

"I just need to know that everything is ok." I sigh and he finishes the dishes, coming over to me and placing his hands on my shoulders, massaging them gently.

"Hey." He kisses me on the top of my head. "As long as you take it easy and get plenty of rest, it'll be fine. So no late nights at the factory and no doing jobs around the house. That's my task for the next nine months."

"And the rest." I try and force a smile. "Now get to work."

"Ok, I'll be back at twelve." He promises and I nod. He kisses me on the lips before grabbing his jacket and leaving. I finish my tea and place my mug in the sink before heading to get dressed.

I was relying on Nick. My last pregnancy had been a battle, which was probably the reason for the miscarriage and I did not want to risk anything going wrong this time. But I trusted him. I knew he wanted this baby as much as me and he wouldn't let anything happen to either of us. Unlike when Peter would go out, get drunk, have affairs and drive me to lose the baby.

Not this time. This time I was determined to be a mother.

 **11:52am**

"Ok, you ready?" I hear Nick's voice as the front door to my flat swings open. I was relieved, even though I had every faith in him. "Got your text."

He passes me a bar of white chocolate and I grin at him, opening it avidly.

"You're early." I tell him, biting into it.

"Yeah well I thought we could get a head start." He smiles, holding out my jacket for me to put my arms into. I go to pick up my keys, but then realise I want nothing more than for him to just hold me, so instead I turn and walk back towards him. He knows why, he reaches out and I'm there instantly. Listening to his heart beat against my ear. He places a kiss on the top of my head. "Don't be scared." He whispers and I nod, although I'm terrified. We stay there for a few minutes longer before we do need to leave and he guides me out of the flat, shutting the door behind us.

It's only a short drive to Weatherfield General, which is where the scan was taking place. Nick pulls into a space and sits there with me whilst I stare out of the window.

"You ok?" He asks and I nod. Not wanting to crumble completely.

"It just brings everything back, you know?" I sigh and he reaches for my hand.

"Ok listen to me." He looks me dead in the eyes. "You're going to be an amazing mother. Ok? Don't you ever doubt that. We'll go in there, see our baby for the first time and then everything will be ok. I promise."

"You promise?" I ask like a child, which I could do in front of Nick because he was the one who looked after me, unlike all my past relationships.

"I promise." He leans over to kiss me and that gives me the strength to get out of the car. He takes my hand again and we swing our arms slightly as we approach the hospital.

"Hi, Nick Tilsley, we have an appointment for an ultrasound under the name of Carla Connor." Nick clears his throat as he addresses the desk and I take the liberty of sitting down in the waiting room, opening a magazine despite the fact that I wasn't even reading it. "Hey, we can go in now."

"Now?" I panic slightly, I hadn't expected to be seen this quickly.

I give him a wary look before rising and following him into the room. It was very much like the one I had endured my original scan in. Dim lights, a single white bed with a computer next to it.

"Carla?" A friendly midwife greets me. "I am doctor Lloyd and I will be seeing you through your pregnancy."

"Let's hope so." I mutter, reaching for Nick's hand.

She's babbling away as I position myself on the bed and doing all sorts of checks for blood pressure. I know it's supposed to calm me, but it was seriously confusing me and I didn't need that right now.

I feel a cold sensation on my stomach as she says something about gel. I look up at Nick, who now can't hide the fact that he's looking just as nervous as me. He rests a hand behind my head, pulling a chair up to sit on and leaning over to kiss me on the forehead. He takes my hand in his and I grip it suddenly as I hear a low beat from the system.

"What's that?" I suddenly panic.

"That's your baby's heartbeat." She smiles and I'm frozen in shock. It sounded so real, so alive. I move my head to stare at my boyfriend, who is listening in awe to the noise that is being projected. "Do you want to see it?"

I nod, unable to process any words. She tilts the screen towards us and I have to cover my mouth with my spare hand in amazement. It was just like before. I suddenly remember the intensity of emotions that rush over you when you see the life forming inside. I'm crying before I can stop myself, tears rolling down my cheeks silently.

"Oh God, sorry." I laugh. "What am I like?"

"Beautiful." Nick whispers and my heart melts slightly at this. "You're both beautiful."

"There's a hand up by the chin, do you see?" She points it out to us and I clench Nick's hand tighter, but he doesn't care.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this moment." Nick tells me, sounding almost close to tears himself. I dare to tear my eyes away from the screen for a second to look at him and he focuses his attention on me.

"That's our baby." I finally confirm, my face forming a smile and he laughs, moving his forehead so it's level with mine. He moves his hand through my hair whilst we watch our child wiggle around on the screen, a black and white image that would soon be flesh and blood. I was sure of it now. I was desperate to love this baby and care for it and be a mother to it.

It. Soon it would be a him or a her. Soon it would be in our arms. Then it would be in a cradle, waking us up at five am. Then Nick would be teaching them to crawl, walk, whilst I took photos of its first birthday. We'd be feeding him or her, carrying them up to bed. Watching them walk through the school gates for the first time, tears in my eyes, Nick holding my hand, like he was now.

That's when I realise. This is what I wanted. I; Carla Connor, actually wanted a family. I was desperate for the pictures I was painting in my head and to share them with the man I loved.

"So, everything is ok?" Nick's soft voice breaks my thoughts.

"Yep, by the looks of it." She smiles, snapping a picture and printing it out. "I just need to record a few details and then you are free to go." She hands a folded piece of card to Nick and then helps me to sit up, cleaning my stomach before I let my top slide back down.

It's effort to stand up. I am so in shock and amazement that my legs feel like jelly. I don't think I've ever felt this relieved. I don't think I've ever felt this happy.

"Told you everything would be ok." Nick tells me when we are finally out of the hospital. He passes me the picture before putting his arm around me. I cuddle into his side, opening it up and smiling as I see our baby again.

"It's amazing." Is all I can say, studying the picture.

"What have you done with that hard hearted cow that used to boss me around in the factory ey?" Nick grins.

"She's still there." I tell him. "She's just finally found herself."

"Oh well, looks like I fell in love with both of you then." He kisses me on the forehead and I stop in the car park as he wraps his arms around me.

I don't know how long we stand there but I never want to move. I never want to let go. I just want to stay with him holding me, our baby in between us. Learning before it's born what it is like to feel loved.


	3. Chapter 3

I know that when she jumps out of bed in the morning without rolling over and smiling at me, that she's off to throw up. I know that I should always follow her, to hold her hair out of her face and rub her back as she leans over the basin. I know that I respect her in every way possible for carrying our baby and that I would do anything to rid her of her discomfort.

"You better love me for this." She groans, after flushing the toilet and moving to brush her teeth.

"You know I do." I laugh and wrap my arms around her once she's finished freshening up. "But it'll be worth it, remember?"

"Mmm." She nods. "I suppose I can put up with this for a while longer if I get to be the stubborn one."

"Well it's lasted five years so far then." I grin and she shoots me a look, which I manage to reconcile by kissing her on the tip of her nose.

"Listen." She whines slightly, slipping back into childish mode and playing with the ties on the hoodie I had slipped on when getting out of bed. "I was thinking... Maybe we could start telling people. Like just close friends and family?"

"Really?" I am surprised, I thought I would have to be the one to convince her to start telling people.

"Yeah." She nods. "Perhaps just Chelle and Steve and then your family."

"Ok, when?" I ask, slightly excited about not having to hold it in any longer.

"Well it's Sunday..." She prompts. "I'm not in work, are you?"

"This is more important." I smile and she lets out her cute little giggle, which always makes my heart melt.

"We're really doing this?" She beams.

"You know what?" I raise my eyebrows before pulling her back into me. "I think we are."

 **3:48pm**

I knock on the door confidently before entering the house which has had more memories than the street has cobbles.

"Hi, it's only us." I call, letting myself in and leading Carla by the hand. We are greeted by the busy scene of the Platt's; Gail dancing around with Lily on her hip. David slouched on the sofa with his arm around Kylie. Audrey was brewing up whilst Max was noisily pushing a toy truck along the floor and Bethany and Sarah were bickering in the kitchen. "Full house, excellent."

"Hello Nick, it's a surprise to see you." Gail greets, cheerily, as if the commotion in the house was something she nowadays just accepted, which it probably was. "And Carla!" She kisses her on the cheek which takes her aback slightly. She wasn't used to in-laws liking her, not that they technically were yet.

"Welcome to the mad house." David drones, not moving his eyes from the cartoons on the television. I could swear Kylie and him were just five year olds on the inside; five year olds with a shit load of baggage.

"Sarah will you be quiet lovie?" Audrey frets, trying to break up the feud between the mother and daughter. I was hoping maybe our future family wouldn't be quite as boisterous as this, but however it turned out, I would love it.

"I told her she wasn't to use my lipstick." Sarah retorts, turning on Audrey instead.

"I said I'll buy you a new one!" Bethany argues.

"Oh for heavens sake, I'll buy you a new one." Audrey stresses, trying anything to calm them down.

"Neowwwww!" Max yells as he directs the truck straight into Kylie's leg.

"Ow!" She yelps. "Max I told you to play with that nicely!"

"...Shall we just leave this for another day?" Carla whispers, I could tell she was anxious now, this was not something she was used to.

"Nope." I tell her and then raise my voice. "Uh, hi, sorry! We have actually come round for a reason rather than have free tickets to the theatre."

"'A Day In The Life Of The Platts'." Kylie ponders. "We could make money off that."

"It'd be the longest film ever." David rolls his eyes.

"Thank you." I interrupt again. "We have some news, that I will let Carla announce."

"You're getting married!" Gail exclaims and I exchange looks with my girlfriend. "I knew it! I've seen this dress in a magazine which I think I could wear. Sarah, what did you think of that dress I-"

"We're not getting married!" I cut her off and receive a disappointed glance from my mother.

"I um..." Carla stammers, her confidence has been knocked by the palaver that was taking place I front of us. "Well we're expecting a baby... I'm pregnant."

Luckily Gail's excited screech cuts through the confused stares that faced us as she runs up to Carla and hugs her suddenly.

"I knew it! I knew it!" She puts Lily down on the floor, as if she was done with the latest grandchild and was moving on to the next one.

"Evidently." I nod, sarcastically and manage to save my girlfriend from being salvaged by my mother.

"Congrats mate, seriously." David finally pipes up, rising from the sofa to shake my hand.

"It's very soon after what's her name." Bethany stupidly adds and then regrets it. "...But you know, congratulations and all that."

I put my arm around Carla and she folds into my side, relieved that we had finally broken the news.

"Ooh, we must have a toast!" Audrey announces. "Bethany, lovie, get me some glasses will you?"

"No, no, it's fine." I stop her. "We've got to go and tell Steve and Michelle over at the pub anyway."

Carla is pounced on one final time by Gail before we manage to withdraw ourselves from the household. The fresh air was a relief when it hit us and Carla lets out a long sigh of alleviation as she links her hand with mine.

"At least that's done." She rolls her eyes and I laugh at her withered expression. "That's the hard part, forget labour and early morning feeds."

"I don't think you'll be saying that in the delivery room sweetheart." I smile and she groans.

"I know I've endured enough pain in my life that it should be a walk in the park but..." She exhales. "Ugh... I never wanted to give birth. Sweat, tears, stretching, ew..."

"Think of the end result." I kiss her on the forehead as we reach the pub. "It'll be worth it."

"Hi!" Michelle beams as we approach the bar, looking delighted to see her best friend.

"I'll have an orange juice please." She hints at her and Michelle frowns.

"That's unlike you." She laughs. "You pay for our stock of red wine to be delivered."

"Yeah well, have a guess." Carla winks at her.

"Umm, you're upstaging me yet again by not drinking for a month?" Michelle shrugs and Carla shakes her head, a slight smile on her face which I found adorable. "Wait... You're not... Oh my God Car!" She squeals and runs round to our side of the bar to hug my girlfriend excitedly.

"Shh!" Carla raises a finger to her lips. "No one knows yet apart from you and the Platt's."

"I don't believe it!" She whispers, ecstatically. "When?"

"We've known for a few weeks." She grins at me, tilting her head back so it rests in my chest. "Didn't want to tempt fate though..."

"Of course." Michelle nods, understandingly. "Hey can I tell Steve?"

"Yeah go for it." Carla smiles. "We better be going anyway. I promised this one a night in front of the telly."

"Oh well have fun." Michelle giggles, hugging Carla one last time before running off to tell her boyfriend the news.

"You see, it's my family vs. yours, isn't it?" I laugh as we emerge from the pub and head back towards Victoria Court.

"Only similarity being that they both have more baggage than Manchester airport." She says.

"Well who on this street doesn't." I shrug and she agrees with me as I place my hand on her stomach. "Don't you think it seems even more real now?"

"Mmm." She nods. "And I love it."


	4. Chapter 4

"So I said to Tim, I don't understand why they sell Advent calendars after Advent has started. But he said, in Freshco's, they make them cheaper so he buys them for Faye on the second." Sally whitters on. "Well I said to him, I said; I could never do that, I always have to buy mine at least a few days before December-"

"Yeah Sal." Aidan stops her. "I just wanted a coffee."

"...Yes Mr Connor." Sally nods and exits the office obediently.

"You've been cutting back on the caffeine lately." He turns to me. "It's unlike you."

"Yeah well I'm going through a health craze." I shrug, using one of my many cover stories. "Did you know bees can get addicted to caffeine?"

"Well then, buzz." Aidan jokes, and I raise my eyebrows at his attempts before the door swings open again. "Ugh! Sally I told you-"

"...Not interrupting am I?" Michelle enters, peering round the doorframe.

"Oh it's you." He sighs.

"Nice to see you too." She rolls her eyes at his grumpy attitude. "I was just wondering if I could have a word."

"Hint tekken." Aidan mutters before getting out of his seat and offering it to Michelle. "I'll go help my dad, he's trying to shift that order with Kirk."

"Busy as ever." My best friend grins at me as Aidan leaves. "I hope you're not taking on too much."

"Ey? Oh tough as old boots me, you know that." I remind her.

"Yeah yeah." She nods. "But, remember last time-"

"We don't talk about last time." I scold her. "...Sorry it's just. I need this to be perfect."

"And it will be." Michelle tells me before producing a paper bag and placing it in front of me.

"What's this?" I frown, pulling it towards me.

"I know! It's really early and all that but I couldn't resist!" She exclaims as I pull a fluffy brown baby grow out of the bag on a hanger. It has a little hood attached with, ears, eyes and a button nose to look like a bear.

"Chelle? Really?" I laugh at her, despite the fact that the outfit was cute. "We don't even know the sex yet."

"Yeah well it's unisex!" She points to the label. "Besides, I haven't been able to go baby shopping for over twenty years!"

"Don't say that, it makes me feel extremely old." I shoot her a look. "I dunno, you were a teen mum and I'm virtually... past it."

"Oh come on!" She exasperates. "You're hardly an OAP are you? Barely out of your thirties."

"Yeah well I don't want to-" I begin before I feel a slight cramp in the left side of my abdomen. I try to hide the look of alarm from my face but Michelle knows something is up.

"What?" She suddenly panics.

"Nothing!" I argue, as I return to normality.

"No Carla, what is it?" She persists.

"Chelle will you leave it?" I snap at her. "I'm fine, honestly."

"I'm ringing Nick." She pulls out her phone bossily.

"No you are not!" I snatch it out of her hand. "It's just a cramp, I'm sure they're supposed to happen all the time... Look, thanks for the gift babe but I really need to get back to work."

"...If anything else happens." She negotiates and I hold my finger up.

"I promise, I'll sort it out." I say as I pass her phone back to her.

"Ok." She sighs, kissing me on the cheek before pulling the door open. "See you later, love ya."

"Love you." I tell her and the door swings shut. I immediately turn my attention to stuffing the baby grow into my work bag so that Aidan isn't to find it.

 **1:13pm**

"Well I have no idea why that order hasn't reached you yet Mrs Ash." I apologise over the phone. "It should have been shipped out at eleven this morning."

"Mrs Connor, can I have a word?" Beth storms into the office without knocking and I glare at her.

"No no, I'll be straight on that Mrs Ash." I promise her, trying to ignore Beth who's squirming for my attention. This had better be important. "You have my word for it, yep. Ok... Bye bye now." I put the phone down and turn angrily to my employee. "Beth. What have I told you about interrupting when I'm on the phone? Shouldn't you be on your lunch?"

"Sorry Mrs Connor but it's important." She begs. "It's just well, our Craig's got this Christmas show you see and I'd really like to go see it."

"Good for you." I shrug, unsure at why she was telling me this.

"Well it's a matinée performance at his college." She continues. "I promised him I'd be there and-"

"So you want some time off?" I interrupt her and she nods.

"I thought you said it was important." I sigh, before realising I wasn't going to get anywhere by being angry. "Fine, but I'm docking your wages."

"Ah, thanks Mrs Connor." She beams. "Craig's dead excited and-"

"Yeah, is that all?" I cut her off and she gives me a moody look before leaving. I am about to get up to see what has gone on with the Jenkins file before I feel another sharp pain in my stomach. Shit, I grip the desk. Ok now I was getting worried. This was not happening again. No way.

I remembered my promise to Michelle and once the pain has subsided I collect my bag and walk steadily towards the doors of the factory.

I do contemplate driving myself to Weatherfield General but then soon discard that idea. Instead I head to the Bistro which luckily was literally next to Underworld.

"Hi sweetheart." Nick smiles as I enter. He looked so happy, I was about to ruin that.

"Nick." I panic, getting quite stressed over it now. I could not let this happen again. I was holding out hope because they were just small pains, nothing like when I had the miscarriage. But I wasn't willing to take any risks. "We need to go to the hospital." I hiss over the counter.

"What?" He looks taken aback, putting down the bottle of wine he was opening for a customer.

"Please just, we need to go now." I beg him and he's instantly finding his way round to me.

"What's wrong?" He asks, trying to remain calm because it was clear I wasn't.

"I'm just... Getting cramps that's all." I hesitate before telling him and fear fills his eyes.

"Ok, right yeah, hospital." He gathers his thoughts before turning quickly to his staff. "Leanne, can you hold the fort here. I wouldn't ask but something has come up."

"Yeah sure." She doesn't look best pleased but that's most likely because it's something to do with me. Nick follows me out of the bistro and we head towards his car.

"How long has this been happening?" He questions.

"It happened once a few hours ago and again just." I inform him, slipping into the passenger seat as he turns on the engine.

"Ok, it'll be alright." He soothes me, kissing me briefly on the cheek before we pull out.

"Will it?" I ask him, because I was doubting myself even more now.

"Tell me if you want me to pull over." He avoids the question and I bury my head in my hands. Why the hell was this happening again? I already had complications with the first pregnancy before having the miscarriage. I was beginning to think perhaps I wasn't built to have children.

Nick's urgency as he pulls up and practically runs me into the hospital wasn't helping my conscience either. Especially when they say they can see us immediately and we are escorted into a private room.

"Don't be scared." He whispers to me once I'm laying on the bed, which is exactly what Michelle said to me the day I miscarried.

"I am scared." I gulp and he reaches for my hand because I knew he was scared too.

It seems I'm lying there for hours, whilst instruments were taken on and off my stomach, results were being recorded and various noises stopped and started. I'm shattered and close to tears by the time the midwife enters again, coming over to us with a clipboard. I feel Nick tense up next to me.

"I'm happy to say that everything's as it should be." The words slip off her tongue and it takes a few moments for them to sink in but Nick is up, hand over his face in relief. "The cramping you are experiencing is normal in a lot of pregnancy's. It appears to be an early case of Braxton Hicks, which are false contractions."

"But everything is ok?" Nick confirms, coming back over to me and running his fingers through my hair as I sit myself up, knees pulled up to my chest.

"Yep, you're doing brilliantly." She beams at us and then turns to Nick. "And you did the right thing bringing her in. Always better to be safe than sorry. I'll leave you two a minute."

"Thank you." He nods and she smiles before leaving.

"There, see, I told you everything would be ok." He kisses me on the forehead before I begin to break down in tears. "Hey..." He whispers before carefully putting his arms around me.

"I just don't want anything to go wrong again." I cry into his chest. "I love this baby and I love you."

"I love you too." He tells me as we rock gently back and forth.

"I don't want to let you down." I murmur and he stops his movement, pulling back to face me. He was serious now, in fact I don't think I had ever seen him looking so concerned, almost hurt. He placed a finger under my chin and lifts my head so that my eyes are level with his.

"Listen to me." He says, sincerity in his voice. "Don't you ever say that again. Ok?"

His face softens once he sees how terrified I am of what we have just come to face and he pulls me up off the bed so that he can hug me properly.

"Carla." He whispers into my hair. "You will never, ever let me down. Don't ever think that."

"Sorry..." I mumble, unsure of what I should respond with.

"Or that, we don't say that either." He laughs and I smile slightly, tears silently passing down my cheeks as he holds me. Everything was ok. _We_ were going to be ok...


	5. Chapter 5

Somehow I can sense that she's behind me, so I turn from the bacon I am frying up to meet her frightened figure that is leant against the door frame to our bedroom. Our bedroom. It was ours now. That sofa, was ours. This flat? Ours. My flat? Ours.

"Are you ok?" I ask, giving her space because sometimes she just wanted to stand alone. Her eyes were sunken and sorrowful, as if she was lost completely in a wrath of thoughts. "...You haven't had anymore..."

"No." She shakes her head as I trail off, knowing that I was implying about our pregnancy scare the other day. She just stands there, as if she could break at any second. I can't bear being this far from her anymore so I walk over and she gratefully accepts my hug.

"Listen ok? You heard the doctor, everything's fine." I remind her. "She said it's perfectly normal in pregnancies."

"I know." She nods and then smiles at me, for the first time in days it looks genuine. "Are you in work today?"

"Nope." I shake my head. "And neither are you."

"Yes I am..." She frowns, checking the calendar briefly in case the date had slipped her mind. "It's Monday."

"And I've spoken to Aidan and he says you can take the day off." I tell her and she suddenly looks at me, alarmed.

"Why? What did you tell him?" She frets.

"That you weren't feeling very well!" I laugh and she relaxes in my arms. "Chill out babe, all this stress isn't good for either of you."

I pull back and place my hands on her tummy, which she giggles at. God, I loved that giggle. It signalled to me that she was actually happy.

"You stay all snuggled up in there ok?" I talk to her stomach which makes her laugh even more. "Just like mummy and me are going to be snuggled up today."

"I don't want to stop you going into work!" She panics and I roll my eyes.

"You do like killing the moment don't you?" I smile at her before kissing her on the lips. "No, I'm staying home today with you two. Whether you like it or not."

 **2:37pm**

"I'll just get a basket then shall I?" I laugh as she virtually runs into Dev's shop. She was like a little kid today, completely dependent on me to make her happy. I'd told her I would happily go and get us snacks whilst she sat on the sofa but she wanted a walk and when it came to shopping; Carla was not cheap. Especially when we were food shopping whilst she was pregnant.

"Lazy day in is it?" Dev asks from the counter. My girlfriend is too busy cramming cake into the shopping basket to answer so I take the liberty of doing it for her.

"She had a cold this morning." I lie, but believably. "Seemed to subside rather quickly."

"Hmm..." Carla grins at me. "Dev, do you have any spaghetti hoops?"

"At the bottom there." He points to a shelf, looking rather confused.

"Spaghetti hoops? Really?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Never had you down as a spaghetti hoops kind of woman." Dev adds as she puts two tins in the basket.

"Yeah well I like to surprise people." She bites her lip.

"You done yet?" I ask her, it was obvious she was taking advantage of this expedition but I didn't care, as long as it made her happy. I place the basket on the counter and Dev begins to scan things through. We clearly weren't going to extremes to keep this pregnancy a secret because Dev looked astounded at the fact that Carla Connor had just practically cleaned his shop out, except for the wine.

"Well, I've got to thank you for paying for the rent then." He jokes. "I'd say you've got a keeper there Carla."

"Yeah me too." She smiles at me and I shoot her a look before kissing her on the forehead.

"Right that'll be thirty seven pounds twenty eight pence." He informs me and I insert my credit card. The credit card Carla once stole to gamble with. Now I was using it to buy her and my baby food, how times change.

"See this is why you don't come shopping with me." I joke, removing my card and collecting the shopping bags.

"I'll carry one." She offers.

"No you won't." I tell her, despite the fact she knew I would already reject her offer. "However you can get the door for me. Bye Dev."

"See you later." He waves us off as we walk out onto the street.

"Do you want to make it anymore obvious?" I nudge her slightly and she giggles. "You'd better eat all this."

"Don't worry I will." She grins and in that moment I don't care whether I spend a million pounds on her, because money meant nothing compared to her happiness.

 **4:12pm**

"You can go to sleep if you want to?" I whisper into her hair. She was cuddled into me on the sofa as I rubbed her tummy gently. I could tell she was getting drowsy but was preventing herself from sleeping because it was only late afternoon. The quiet mumble of voices from some unimportant documentary could be heard, even though I'd turned the sound down so that I could just focus on her.

"Mm..." Is all she mumbles, closing her eyes and I laugh at how cute she was. Cute. She hated to be called cute. But when we were alone and she had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, her dressing gown on and make-up off. When she would just let me hold her and she would fall asleep in my arms. When the only mask she had to put on was made of gel and she could cry without having to be scared. She was cute. That was the Carla only I knew. Only me and two others from the past. Both who had screwed her over or left her. I wasn't going to do that. No way was I ever giving her up.

She jumps suddenly at the sound of the intercom which rings out into her flat. I'm angry at whoever it was for waking her and destroying my peaceful thoughts. It takes me all my physical and emotional strength to move from where I am lying, holding her. I couldn't think of a more comfortable place to be situated.

"I'll get rid." I promise her, her eyes were wide with bewilderment. "Hello?"

"It's Aidan." I hear his voice, slightly angry.

"Well now is not a great time, sorry mate." I tell him.

"Yeah well tough because me and dad have been trying to keep the factory afloat today whilst you two have been skipping down the cobbles." He snaps.

"Fine." I groan, pressing the button to let him in and opening our front door ready. "Aidan."

"Ugh... Why?" Carla moans, I was so annoyed that this had happened now because thirty seconds ago she looked so peaceful and I couldn't explain how difficult it was to make her feel that way.

"So, do you want to tell me the truth as to why neither of you were in work today?" He asks as he storms through the door, followed by Johnny and Kate.

"Oh good, the whole squad is here..." Carla mutters.

"I told you, she's been ill." I stick to my story, which wasn't fooling anyone.

"You didn't look very ill when you were merrily emerging from Dev's shop earlier." Johnny virtually spits. "You can't start taking days off just when you feel like it again. You've seen what that does to the business."

"Do not talk to her like that." I tell him, sternly and then I hear Carla begin to laugh.

"Nick, it's ok..." She calms me and I frown at her. "Look, you want to know the reason why I haven't been in work? It's because I'm pregnant. Ok?"

"...What?" Aidan splutters.

"Congratulations!" Kate exclaims, clapping her hands in excitement.

"You're pregnant?" Johnny questions, as if he didn't hear her correctly.

"Yes and the reason I wasn't there on Friday afternoon is because I was at the hospital." Carla informs them. "Because I thought I was losing the baby."

"But she didn't." I interject, just to clarify.

"...I'm sorry." Aidan apologises. "I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah but if you could not tell anyone else, cause they don't know." I persist and Johnny nods.

"Except for Chelle and Steve." Carla adds. "And Gail and Kylie and David... And Max and Lily... And Bethany and Sarah and Audrey."

"So yeah, no one knows." I nod, cutting her off.

"Right well, we'll leave you to it." Johnny mutters, guiding Kate out of the flat. "Oh and... Take as much time as you need."

"Thank you." I smile as they leave and I slam the door with more force than I intend. "Don't." She holds a finger up to me as I turn to her.

"Don't what?" I ask her.

"Yell at me for telling more people." She sighs.

"Why would I yell at you?" I sit back down onto the sofa and she rests her head back on my chest, returning to our original positions.

"So you don't mind?" She frowns and I laugh at her confusion. "What?" She screws up her nose, slipping back into childish mode. I just stare at her, smiling which annoys her. "Nick!" She elbows me playfully. "What?"

"I love you." I tell her and she stares back at me before I place a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"Ugh..." She mutters, relieved that the news was out to yet another group of people. "I love you too."


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't dare wake her. She looked so peaceful lying there, her head tilted slightly to the side, the smallest smile on her cheeks, shiny locks of hair resting against her chin. She was so beautiful. I had never felt so lucky, so blessed, so in love.

"Mmm..." She mumbles, in her adorable morning voice as I watch her eye lids flutter open. I smile contently as she adjusts her focus, peering up at the ceiling, yawning like a kitten that had just awoke from its nap. She doesn't realise I am also awake until she turns her head to look at me, a smile appearing on her face. "Noo..." She croaks, adorably, giggling to herself for a reason beyond my imagination.

"Good morning to you too." I let out a laugh as she stretches her arms out. "You slept well so I gather."

"Feels like it." She whispers, her voice hoarse as it always was in the mornings. She pokes a finger lightly into my cheek as if checking that I was really there before moving closer to me. "I love you Nicky."

"If you call me that one more time..." I roll my eyes at her, cringing at the name.

"I can say what I like." She grins. "I'm carrying your baby, remember?"

"Like I'd forget." I hum as she rests her head on my chest.

"Feel." She takes my hand and places it on her tummy, which I know is partly because it relaxes her when I rub it gently in circular motions. Her skin was soft beneath my fingers as I trace them around her belly button. "When I get all fat and bloated..."

"I will still love you." I finish her sentence and she smiles in contentment. "In fact maybe even more, if that's possible... No sickness this morning?"

"No..." She shakes her head and then looks slightly alarmed. "You don't think I should worry do you? Is that normal?"

"I think you should take it as a blessing sweetheart." I chuckle as she settles back down, pouting her lips slightly.

 **10:56am**

"Steve, is Michelle in?" I ask, entering the Rovers before I back out of doing this.

"Uh... Yeah, I'll go get her mate." Steve frowns, before leaving the bar to fetch his wife.

"Hi Nick, bit early isn't it?" Michelle beams at me. "Siding with the competition?"

"Aha, no sorry." I force a smile, trying to conceal my nerves. "Look, are you busy today?"

"Erm... Well I'm just helping out here as usual." She informs me. "Why what's up?"

"I need your help with something." I tell her.

"Is everything alright with the baby?" She frets.

"Yeah yeah, fine." I assure her and then I lower my voice. "I um... I was wondering if you'd come ring shopping with me?"

"Thanks for the offer but she's already got one." Steve jokes, pointing to her finger and Michelle shoots him a look before turning back to me.

"Are you... Are you serious?" Michelle's eyes grow wide with excitement.

"Yeah, why is it a stupid idea?" I suddenly panic.

"No! No it's not!" Michelle exclaims.

"Well I just know she's been married what? Three times... Engaged four... To murderers and rapists and people who sleep with prostitutes..." I stop myself. "Aka... My ex wife..."

"Anyway!" Michelle cuts me off. "Besides, Leanne slept with a lot of her ex partners so it honestly doesn't shock her anymore... I thought _he_ was having an affair with her once." She points at Steve.

"Really?" I look at him inquisitively.

"Yeah but I wasn't." Steve corrects her.

"Nope." She shakes her head. "It was Becky instead."

"Back to the topic in hand." I cough, not wanting to get caught in the middle of a domestic.

"She'll be over the moon Nick, seriously." She promises me. "Just don't do it in the middle of the Rovers like Frank."

"Nope." Steve pulls a face.

"Do not do it at a dinner party like Tony." She adds. "Which we were invited to by the way."

"Uh huh." Steve shakes his head again.

"And definitely, do not wait for her to do it herself... In the middle of a Bistro." She clarifies. "Your bistro."

"Right..." I nod, trying to take it all in.

"Now that I've scared you to death, let's go ring shopping." She grins, grabbing her jacket.

"Uh, ey up, what about the pub?" Steve questions her.

"I'm sure you'll survive love." Michelle kisses him quickly before leaving through the front door and I just have time to mouth 'sorry' before I am dragged away.

 **1:12pm**

"So what's your price range?" Michelle asks me as we enter the jewellers.

"Price range?" I laugh. "This is Carla Connor we're talking about right?"

"Uh, Carla Tilsley soon." She winks at me which makes my stomach flip. Maybe this was a stupid idea. I didn't want to ruin anything we had going by pushing it too far...

"You know what Michelle?" I suddenly stress. "I think this is just a moment of madness, maybe we should just forget about it and go home..."

"No you don't!" She grabs my arm, wandering round the shop as if she was a kid in a sweet store. "Ok so you want something elegant, classy, expensive looking, but you don't want it to look so expensive that it's tacky."

"That makes sense..." I mutter and she leads me over to a cabinet of pricey looking rings.

"Oooh, look at that one." Her eyes light up as she points to a silver clasp ring with a diamond concealed in the centre with two smaller ones alongside it.

"...Four grand?" My eyes widen.

"That's pretty good for an engagement ring." She informs me. "When Steve proposed to me for the first time, this being the time when he didn't even mean to, I got him to buy me an engagement ring for seven thousand, five hundred."

"Seven thousand, five..." I trail off, my mouth practically gaping open.

"Yep." She nods proudly. "Then I threw it in a skip."

"...And some how you're still together." I nod.

"Can I help you?" A voice sounds from behind us and I turn to face a friendly looking man in a grey suit.

"Yeah, uh, we're looking for an engagement ring apparently." I tell him.

"Are you interested in seeing that one?" He guesses.

"It is gorgeous I suppose." I sigh as Michelle claps her hands excitedly. The salesman walks round from his side of the desk to unlock the cabinet, handling the boxed ring with care as he withdraws it from the shelf.

"Would sir like to do the honours?" He asks and it takes me a second to process his words.

"Oh uh... No... We're not." I stammer. "She's not... Oh God, no."

"Thanks." Michelle raises her eyebrows at me. "But no, this is for his girlfriend."

"Oh, sorry." He apologises. "I just assumed."

"Easy mistake to make." I smile, gathering myself again. He passes the ring to me so I can take a closer look at it. Michelle was right, it was something I could imagine Carla wearing proudly. "I'm glad I brought you with me. I'd have never have picked out something as perfect."

"So that's a yes?" She grins.

"Well hopefully it'll be a yes from her too." I sigh, handing it back to the salesman and giving him the nod.

"So that retails at £4000." He tells me, as if I wasn't already aware.

"Stick it on my card." I insert it into the machine as Michelle admires the ring. It seemed she was more attached to it than I was worried Carla would be. If all else failed, I suppose she could have it as a very expensive birthday present.

 **6:04pm**

"You're back late." I hear Carla's voice as soon as I open the door to the flat. She was curled up on the sofa, rubbing her tummy gently as she watched television.

"Yeah sorry..." I reply, shiftily. I had been back to work after shopping with Michelle and it had been hectic. "Busy day."

"You ok?" She asks me, moving her eyes from the television to tilt her head back.

"Yeah..." I trail off, my words were mixed up in my mouth and I didn't know what to say next. She looked so happy sitting there, I didn't want to ruin anything. I move to sit down next to her on the sofa and she looks at me, confusion woven into her face. Ok, I needed to do it now. "Carla I need to ask you something..."

The words slip off my tongue before I could stop them.

"Chinese." She answers suddenly and I frown.

"...What?" I question, as if she had gone mad.

"You were going to ask me what I want for tea." She smiles. "I would like Chinese... If that's ok with you."

I hesitate, my mouth slightly open, trying to muster some words that I could respond with.

"Yeah." Is what I finally conclude and she leans back so that she's lying under my chin. "...As long as you're happy."


	7. Chapter 7

"Carla, I need to talk to you..." I hear Nick announce hesitantly from the living room. I finish straightening my hair and go out to meet him.

"Oh yeah, me too actually." I decide to input, going over to pack my bag that was on the kitchen unit. "I was thinking darling, maybe we could tell Roy today?"

"Roy?" He stumbles on the word as if it was a foreign language.

"Yes Roy..." I nod. "Remember? Nice fella, owns a cafe, carries a bag around wherever he goes, known for his oversized cardigans and-"

"Yes yes, I know who he is." Nick rolls his eyes, clearly not in the best of moods.

"So we can tell him?" I dare to ask and he finally makes eye contact with me.

"Yes. We can tell him." Nick sighs and I go to kiss him on the cheek.

"So what did you want to say?" I finally question, remembering he was the one who initiated this conversation.

"What? Oh..." He coughs. "Nothing, it's nothing."

"Ok..." I frown, unsure of why he was acting this way today. "Look babe, I've got to go but lunch at Roy's then?"

"Yeah that's fine." He kisses me before I turn to leave, flashing him a smile before I shut the door behind me.

 **11:02am**

I pull the door open to the Rovers, my eyes immediately meet Michelle's and a wide grin appears on her face. Before I can even reach the bar she has run round to virtually pounce on me, wrapping me in a gigantic hug. Ok... Why was everyone being so weird today?

"I'm so happy for you!" She exclaims, finally pulling away. "I know I've seen it before but let me see what it looks like on you!"

"Ey?" I frown and she shakes her head at me in excitement.

"Stop being a spoilsport!" She takes my hand in hers. "How did it happen?"

"...How did what happen?" I ask her and I watch her face fall slightly.

"Uh..." She stutters. "The new order... Aidan said you got out."

"...You want to see what it looks like on me?" I give a slight laugh.

"Yeah..." She nods, there were a series of emotions conveyed on her face, none of which were lust so I wasn't too sure why she wanted to see my underwear. "...Just the strap."

"Um..." I suddenly burst out laughing, pulling down the top of my sleeve to show her the lace embroidered strap of my bra.

"That's nice." She looks extremely disinterested and hardly even admires it, so I pull my sleeve back up, aware that some sleazy bloke in the corner was eyeing us up. Why he was drinking whiskey at this time in the morning I didn't know.

"So anyway, I was just coming to ask if you fancied dinner tonight?" I change the subject swiftly.

"Uh... Tonight..." She stutters, staring straight ahead of me.

"Think of an excuse, any excuse." I mutter, tired of everyone being off with me.

"No, I wasn't." She defends herself. "Yeah dinner sounds good."

"Ok well I'm on a tea break so I better get back." I tell her. "But I'll text you babe, ok?"

"Yep, see you later." She forces a smile and I head out of the pub, oblivious as to why I seemed to not know something everyone else did.

 **12:36pm**

I stare down at the smooth granite beneath my fingers. The surface that Carla and I had shared multiple kisses by. That I had poured her so many glasses of wine on. This room was where I got trapped once; when Carla was begging Leanne to choose me over her dying husband because she wanted Peter so badly. This room was where she had consoled me when Erica had the miscarriage. I had tried to reach for her hand but she pulled away. This room was where we had got drunk once, talking about how hard our lives were, before we went out on the street and kissed again. This room was where she told me she loved me for the first time...

"Nick, we're running out of olive oil." I jump at the sound of Robert's voice behind me, snapping me straight out of my thoughts.

"...Olive oil?" Is all I can muster, trying to drag myself back to reality. "How can we be out of olive oil?"

"Well we're not yet." He frowns. "I'm just letting you know we need to order some more in."

"Nick can I have a word?" I turn my head again to face Michelle who is urgently tapping her fingers on the counter. I didn't even see her come in.

"Yeah ok, I'm on it." I tell him as he goes back to the kitchen before I face back to Michelle. "Look, if you need change then-"

"It's not change." She assures me. "Carla came in earlier... I almost let it slip about the... You know?"

"What? How? Why?" I suddenly splutter and she looks taken aback.

"I didn't know you hadn't done it yet!" She exclaims. "You told me that you were doing it last night. Anyway, point is that I didn't, I managed to cover it."

"So she doesn't know?" I panic.

"She doesn't know." She confirms and I breathe a sigh of relief. "But Nick you need to do it soon, seriously, if you keep putting it off it's just gonna get harder."

"Fine ok, I'll do it tonight." I tell her.

"Ah..." She mutters. "That could be an issue."

"What?" I frown.

"...She kind of invited me to dinner tonight." She bites her lip and I suddenly feel relieved because it meant I could put this off for another day.

"Right... Oh well never mind." I shrug, trying to act cool.

"Look I'll see what I can do." She points at me and practically runs off before I can stop her. What was that supposed to mean?

 **1:11pm**

"Sorry, sorry I'm late." I fret as I enter Roys Rolls. Carla was sat at a table with Roy, picking at a sandwich. "Lost track of time." I lean down to kiss her before sliding into the chair next to my girlfriend.

"That's fine." She smiles. "But I've already told him, I hope you don't mind."

"No, no." I shake my head. "That's fine, sorry sweetheart."

"I am... Of course, elated to hear the news." Roy speaks in his usual clear tone, as if depicting words from his mental dictionary before releasing them. I notice he is holding the sonogram photo in his hand. Carla kept it in her purse alongside the sonogram photo from her first pregnancy.

"Thank you, yes we're over the moon." I kiss her on the head as I wrap my arm around her.

"I was telling him what a star you've been." Carla informs me.

"You sound like a true gentleman." Roy adds, which makes me cringe slightly.

"Well I uh, I wouldn't go that far." I force a laugh, knowing that this could all be destroyed in a matter of days.

"I'm sure you will be caring and loving parents." Roy nods before handing the photo back to her.

"I hope so..." Carla murmurs and my arm tightens around her. What killed me more than ever was when she doubted her parenting skills, forever burdened by the fact that her mother never loved her.

"This one, is already an amazing mother." I point to her and she looks up at me. "I'm the one who has some catching up to do."

She doesn't say anything, just lets out a sigh and rests her head on my shoulder. Roy gives us a curt nod before getting up and going back to work. We sit there for a while, in comfortable silence as I place my hand on her tummy. She smiles down as she links her fingers with mine and they rest there, soothing our baby.

"Carla, I've been meaning to ask you this and I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I suddenly blurt out, feeling the ring resting in my inside pocket. She gives me a confused look at my sudden outburst as I move to take the box from my jacket.

"There you are!" I hear Aidan's voice as the door to the cafe swings open. Abort mission. "I've had Hanlens on the phone, asking about arranging a meeting with you... Sorry was I interrupting?"

"No. Course not." I flash him a false smile. I was getting very fed up of him ruining the moment, especially when I finally build up the courage to ask her to marry me.

"Well Nick was just about to..." Carla trails off.

"Oh, that? No it's fine." I cover up. "It's not important."

"Are you sure?" She frowns and I nod. "Right well, I'll come back to the factory now then. Sorry to cut lunch short babe."

"No problem." I muster as she rises and kisses me on the lips one more time before disappearing. I wait until they are gone before placing my head in my hands. How was this so difficult?

 **5:58pm**

"I don't believe it." I hear Carla announce, swinging the door open to the flat.

"...Hi?" I look up from the sheets of stock taking I was attempting to complete. "I thought you were out with Michelle tonight?"

"Yeah I was." She huffs, angrily. "Then she goes and cancels on me because apparently _Steve_ has got a surprise for her."

"A surprise?" I repeat, knowing full well that it was supposed to be some sort of message from Michelle.

"I could kill for a glass of red, I'm telling you now." She practically yells, storming round the kitchen. "Everybody has been off with me today. You, Michelle, Aidan, Hanlen. He said he wanted forty units delivered by Friday else he'll be withdrawing his order. Does he seriously think that's possible?"

"Calm down." Is all I can manage to say, some romantic gesture this was that Michelle had insinuated. She had just made this even harder for me. How was I supposed to reach her when she was in this mood?

"Calm down Nick?" She flicks her hair round. "Calm down? No I will not calm down because all I want is to be a normal partner and a normal boss and a normal mother. That's all I've ever wanted to be and I can't even do that right Nick!"

She's leans up against the kitchen counter, trying not to let the tears slip from her eyes. She doesn't even have to look at me to let me know. I get up and walk over to her, immediately wrapping my arms around her frame. She wasn't afraid to cry then. She knew I never judged her. She knew she could let her walls down whenever we were alone.

"Listen." I pull back, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Carla..."

"I'm sorry it's just-" She begins but I wasn't having any of it.

"No, shut up for a second." I tell her firmly and then laugh because she looks so shocked at my response. "I don't know how and I don't know when but one day I will get it into your head that you are and will be the best mother I could ever imagine. But you're right; you're not normal. No one is normal. You're so much more than that and I love you for it."

She's staring at my intently now, her face soft as tears well up in her eyes again.

"Look ok... I know you hate grand gestures..." I pause before pulling the ring out of my pocket. Surprisingly she doesn't look shocked, she just smiles, which is beautiful, because when she's crying and smiling it's when she is really showing her true emotions. "...Don't feel inclined to say yes... I mean I've been wanting to say this for ages but I just haven't really had the right words..."

"Nick." She giggles and bites her lip, looking into her eyes.

"Carla Connor will you marry me?" I virtually whisper, shocked that the words had left my mouth at last.

"Sorry I didn't hear that." She grins and I roll my eyes.

"Will you marry me?" I ask her, loudly which makes her laugh. She stands there for a few seconds, her eyes darting from the ring to me.

"Yes." She confirms and despite the fact I knew it was coming, the word hits me hard.

"Really?" My eyes widen in surprise.

"Yes I will marry you Nicky Tilsley." She giggles as I slide the ring onto her finger.

"I told you if you say that one more time." I scold her before she kisses me on the lips. I place my hands on the small of her back and pick her up effortlessly, spinning her around before placing her lightly on the kitchen counter.

"I'm gonna make sure I get the vicar to call you that on our wedding day." She whispers, breaking our kiss.

"I don't think that's allowed." I smile, placing my hand behind her head where her soft hair falls over my fingers.

"So that's why Michelle cancelled on me?" She asks and I nod, her face suddenly changing to a look of realisation. "And why she was being so weird earlier in the Rovers? I wondered why she wanted to see my underwear."

"Well who wouldn't?" I grin and she slaps me lightly on the arm before I pull her back in. I'm kissing her again. I'm kissing the woman that I never thought I could ever be in love with. But I was.


	8. Chapter 8

I wake up to an empty bed and the smell of sausages being cooked, which sets my cravings off immediately. It wouldn't surprise me if Nick had telepathic powers. Either that or he was just the most kindhearted, genuine man I had ever been with; who got out of bed to make me breakfast every morning.

"Mmm..." I mumble as I emerge from the bedroom, wrapping my dressing gown around me, my hair falling loosely over my shoulders. It was a signal to let him know I was there and he turns to look at me, his white t-shirt clinging to his muscly chest.

"Ah, it's my beautiful fiancé." He greets me and I rub my eyes.

"Did last night really happen?" I ask, my voice coming out croaky as it always did in the mornings.

"I think it did." He laughs. "I thought the ring on your finger said it all."

"It's beautiful." I admire it, lifting my hand.

"And so are you." He says it in a jokey voice, not a cringey one because he didn't want to set me off again. But I knew he meant it seriously. He walks over to stand behind me and wraps his arms round my waist, gently moving my hair so he can kiss my neck.

"Aren't you going to burn those sausages?" I giggle as he exhales into my skin.

"I don't care." He mumbles.

"Well I do!" I laugh. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry." He kisses me one more time before moving back to the cooker.

"Can't really blame me." I shrug, moving over to sit on the kitchen unit next to where he is cooking. "I'm feeding your kiddo as well."

"Ah well I am happy to make mummy breakfast then." He says and I smile. Never had I felt as lucky as I did right now.

 **9:14am**

"Mrs Connor, getting into work late?" Aidan calls out as I enter the factory, my hand linked with Nick's. "That's something I never thought I'd see..."

"Won't be Connor for much longer Aidan." I joke and he frowns before I turn to my machinists. "Right, stop what you're doing please!"

"Uh..." Aidan stops me. "We have an order to get out sharpish."

" _Uh_... I'm the boss, remember?" I raise my eyebrows at him as Johnny and Kate appear from the office. "Ok, I have an announcement to make."

"You forgot to put mascara on?" Sean laughs to himself.

"No. As if." I raise my eyebrows at him. "Ok well, I may as well just come out with it... Nick and I are engaged."

"Ahh!" Izzy exclaims as Aidan shakes Nick's hand.

"Get the shovel ready..." Beth mutters and receives a light slap off Sinead.

"Auntie Beth!" She yelps and I roll my eyes.

"No, no. Please, fire away." I grin. "This is your chance to say whatever you like."

"Nick Tilsley." Johnny comes up to pat him on the back. "Next in line to the throne."

"Haha." I shoot him a glare before going to wrap my arms around his shoulders. "Oh and that's not all... I'm pregnant."

"What?" Sean's mouth gapes open.

"Oh my gosh this is amazing!" Sinead twirls a pair of knickers round her finger.

"I am really happy for you." Beth adds. "I didn't mean it about the shovel comment."

"I don't understand..." Kirk frowns, paused with a pair of scissors in one hand and masking tape in the other. "What's going on?"

"They're getting married!" Beth yells at him.

"And having a baby." Izzy adds and I kiss Nick on the cheek affectionately.

"Yeah so drinks are on me tonight in the Rovers tonight kids." I tell them. "Except I won't be drinking, so Sean you're in charge of doing it for me."

"Yes Mrs C." He salutes. "Oops, sorry, Mrs T to be."

"That's got a nice ring to it." Nick whispers and then winks at me. "No pun intended."

"Oh God." I laugh as I watch my workers gossip between them about the news.

 **3:47pm**

"So the news is out so I hear?" Michelle grins at us as we enter the Rovers.

"Which news?" I raise my eyebrows at her. "The engagement or the bump?"

"They've talked non stop about it for three quarters of an hour." She rolls her eyes. "Did you give them an early dark?"

"Yeah, couldn't resist." I smile over to where they were merrily laughing and drinking. "You know how I love to be the talk of the street."

"Yeah well at least it's positive talk for once." Michelle points out. "What can I get you?"

"Massive glass of red." I joke and notice Nick's look. "Fizzy water please."

"I'll have an orange juice thanks." He adds.

"You don't have to." I turn to him.

"No but I want to." He kisses me briefly and Michelle turns to get our drinks.

"Are you glad everyone knows now?" I smile at him.

"Of course." He replies, resting a hand on my tummy. "Because now we can do this properly."

"And we weren't already?" I grin as Michelle places our drinks down on the counter.

"I hear congratulations are in order." Steve greets us, appearing behind Michelle and putting his arm around her.

"Yeah thanks mate." Nick raises his drink in acceptance and I cuddle into his side.

"Uh, I'd like to make a toast." Michelle taps her glass and raises it so that everyone in the room turns to look at us. "I'll keep it brief because I know how Carla hates long speeches. Well... I've known her since we were children and she's a nightmare to put up with sometimes, so credit to Nick for dedicating his future to her."

"Oi!" I reach across to poke her in the shoulder.

"No, in all seriousness." She continues. "Nick pulled her through when she blamed herself for the fire and I don't know many guys who would do that. I can officially confirm that you are the nicest person she's ever dated, so I'm over the moon that you are settling down together... Let's just hope this one lasts ey? I don't know... If you'd asked a few years ago whether I could ever imagine Carla as she is now I would have laughed in your face. But I'm glad that she's softened in her old age! So if you'd all join me in raising a glass to Nick, Carla and the bump."

"Baby Tilsley!" Beth cheers and I bury my head into Nick's shoulder as he sways me gently from side to side to the sound of applause from our friends.

 **9:23pm**

"How are you feeling?" I unlock the door to the flat and allow her to enter first. She throws her bag and jacket down on the sofa and turns to look at me.

"Shattered." She confirms and I hold my arms out so she can walk into them.

"Bed then?" I ask and she checks the clock.

"It's only almost half nine." She sighs.

"Yeah well that's what being pregnant does to you I suppose." I kiss her on the forehead.

"I love you." She whispers as I breathe in the scent of her shampoo. "Chelle was right; I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"Well... It does kind of need two people involved." I chuckle and she slaps me lightly on the arm. "But I love you too."

"Mmm... Good." She mumbles. "Because do you know what I'd really like?"

"What?" I question, her eyes sparkling slightly.

"I'd really like..." She pauses. "A hot chocolate."

"A hot chocolate?" I laugh, it was so unlike Carla, she could change so much in a second. "Well it's a good job I bought some earlier then isn't it?" I kiss her once more before pulling away. "You go get into bed and I'll bring it in."


	9. Chapter 9

**Christmas Eve:**

It's not when I'm stepping into the shower. Or when I'm massaging my body in soapy suds. Or when I'm towel drying my hair on the bathroom mat.

It's when I pull my top down over my head and that's when I see it. I catch it in the corner of my eye from the bathroom mirror. I gasp when I notice it and freeze on the spot.

"Nick?" I suddenly yelp and I hear him clatter along the floor boards, hammering the door down. Luckily I hadn't locked it and he bursts in, running over to me.

"What?" He panics. "What's wrong? Carla?"

"Look." I point to my stomach which I am observing in the mirror, my hand shaking as it passes over the faint bump.

"Oh my God..." He runs his hand through his hair. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"It's happening." I whisper, tears building up in my eyes. Of course, I was happy. But at the same time, I was scared as hell. Never before had I pictured myself being pregnant, properly, with a huge stomach, bloated and aching. This was my final realisation that this was going to happen. I, Carla Connor, was going to have a baby. "...Nick I'm so scared." Is all I can say before a tear slides down my cheek and he breathes a sigh of relief before standing behind me and sliding his arms around my waist, so that they meet with mine on my tummy.

"I thought something had happened then." He's still breathing heavily, I'd been cruel then, I'd freaked him out.

"Sorry." I sigh, my hands shaking underneath his. He could feel it. He could feel how shocked I was, how scared. Even though we knew it was coming it was terrifying to see it actually being formed.

"It's ok." He soothes me, placing kisses into my hair. "I know you're scared but so are all mums-to-be. It's a natural thing."

"I just never saw myself..." I trail off. "I spent a lifetime being in denial about all those maternal instincts people say every woman has. I go out for lunch and I'll choose salad over steak because I know I have to keep my figure. I go to the gym and I'll run at full speed because I never want to lose it... It's just... Scary."

"You'll get it back." He tells me, softly. "But Carla it's going to be worth it, I promise you. Yeah?" I manage to nod and he lets out a sigh, rocking me gently to calm me down. "We're supposed to enjoy every part of this."

"I am." I confirm, letting the material of my top slide down over our hands. "I am, it's just a lot to take in... Ok, I'm alright now. Sorry I'm just being silly."

"No you're not." He says and turns me to face him. He places a finger under my chin and lifts my head to kiss his lips. "But I'm here for you, whatever you need you let me know ok? Just... Don't go scaring me like that again."

"Sorry." I mumble.

"And stop apologising." He smiles and I fall back into his arms.

 **11:20am**

"You know, watching the nativity really isn't helping me..." I moan from the sofa.

"Well you're hardly the Virgin Mary are you?" Nick chuckles to himself from the kitchen. I have the urge to throw a slipper at him, I was on edge today and I couldn't get comfortable. Plus I wasn't enjoying this prolonged labour that I was watching be carried out on the back of a donkey. Thank God we had cabs in the modern day.

"I'm so bored." I grumble, turning to look at him. He was chopping up vegetables for reasons beyond my imagination because we had decided to spend Christmas both at the Platt's and the McDonald's tomorrow, because we were indecisive about where we wanted to spend the day... Well, we weren't, we would both happily spend it in the pub. But Gail wasn't having any of it.

"You could always wrap those presents for Max and Lily." He points to the boxes of toys that lay under the tree and I screw my nose up. "This time next year you'll be doing it for our own kid."

Ok, _that_ freaked me out.

"Oh God..." I mutter. "What if I don't know what to buy it?"

"It won't even be one yet." He reminds me. "I hardly think it's going to care if you buy it the blue dummy or the yellow one."

"Ugh... I hadn't even thought about those things..." I pull a face.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"Well I mean..." I sigh. "I thought about the big things like cribs and whatever those voice listener thingy's are..."

"Baby monitors?" He laughs at my attempts.

"That." I roll my eyes. "But there's so much more to think about."

"Well we've got months yet." He exclaims. "Chill out babe, you're very nervy today."

"I am." I retort. "Because I've been sick three times and I'm fed up of being sick. Have you ever been sick every morning for weeks?"

"No." He shakes his head and sighs as he puts down the knife he was using, walking over to me. "Budge up." He orders, sitting himself down next to me and wrapping me in a cuddle. "Is this because of earlier?"

"No..." I trail off, which was partly true because I was also very on edge generally today.

"Oh sweetheart." He just whispers and rubs my tummy because he knows how much I love it.

"I don't really like Christmas." I scrunch my nose up and he laughs again.

"Full of the festive spirit today aren't we?" He nudges me playfully to try and get my to smile. He resorts to tickling me under the chin when I don't, which annoys me because I was very content with being Scrooge and tickling me made me laugh.

"Stop it!" I slap him lightly, beginning to giggle like a little girl.

"There we go." He points to my smile before kissing it, for longer than I expect and that sets me off.

"You know why I think I'm so grumpy?" I ask and he shakes his head. "Because... We haven't had sex for over a week babe and it's killing me, seriously. My name is Carla Connor, I don't usually go a few days without getting withdrawal symptoms."

"Oh well sorry but you're the one who falls asleep as soon as we get in." He bites his lip and I let out a light hum at the sight of it. "It's midday."

"So? That never stopped you before." I grin before taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom.

 **4:52pm**

"You've done a good job of wrapping those." Nick informs me as he goes to get the buzzer. I was sat on the floor with bits of wrapping paper scattered around. "Uh... Hi yeah..." Nick mutters into the intercom and I begin to collect up the pieces of litter to take to the bin. This was so weird, wrapping presents for children. But I suppose I needed to get used to it. "Listen, I know it's short notice but Max and Lily are going to be dropped here for an hour."

"...When?" I frown.

"Now..." He says. "That was David at the door."

"What? But the presents are everywhere!" I fret, beginning to gather them up and store them in a nearby cupboard. "Why are they coming?"

"Uh, because David and Kylie need some space to wrap their presents for Santa." Nick reminds me.

"Well why can't they stop at Sarah's?" I don't stop tidying the room once the presents are safely stored away. Sarah and Bethany lived in Nick's old flat now as he had practically moved in. It hadn't even been a decision made it just naturally happened.

"We went as slowly as we could." David opens the door cautiously which had been left ajar. "Are you ready for us?"

"Yeah, yeah come in." Nick greets them and he beckons to Kylie who is holding a hand of each of her children. They are also closely followed by Sarah and Bethany. So that was clearly why they couldn't go to theirs.

"Wow..." I mutter under my breath, only so loud that Nick could hear. "Party time..."

"Hiya Carla." Kylie flashes me a smile. It was that same smile she gave me the day I went to pick Simon up from school for the first time. She had given me the advice to 'pick the right kid'. Oh how times change... "How you bearing up?"

"Hi." I wave at her. "Alright yeah, just a bit tired."

"It gets better." She assures me and I'm not sure whether it's sarcastic or not.

"Right so you'll be staying with uncle Nick and auntie Carla." David tells Max and Lily. Auntie Carla? Shit. I hadn't even thought about that... Not only was I going to be a mother but this engagement meant I was going to be an auntie too. "Sarah and Bethany are going to be staying here for a bit too because they're too lazy to make their own hot drinks."

"Oi!" Sarah elbows him. Platt family domestics; how I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

"So you be good ok?" He ignores Sarah and high fives his stepson, who he saw as his own child. "Mummy and me have got to go and do some preparations so we'll be back soon."

"See you later kids." Kylie smiles. "Thanks for this." She turns to us and then waves at her children as her and David begin to leave.  
Sarah flops down on the sofa when the door closes and Bethany struts over to the kitchen, searching my cupboards for food.

"So... Who's excited about Santa coming?" I try to engage the children who were looking a little lost. They just nod, still clearly a little wary of me. This reminded me of when I used to try and communicate with Simon... It had been such a struggle. It was what fully put me off the idea of being a mum. "Yay..."

I see Nick glance over at me and he gives me a warm smile before rounding them up and tipping their toys out onto the carpet, that they had brought with them. See, why couldn't I do that?

"What's it like to be pregnant?" Bethany questions, helping herself to a bag of prawn crackers. Which set me on edge because the idea of prawns was making me want to hurl right now.

"Bethany!" Sarah scolds, although she doesn't make any effort to move herself.

"Um... It's weird." I tell her. "But exciting. I think that once you-"

"Uncle Nicky? Do you have any apple juice?" She cuts me off and I clap my hands together casually to discreetly cover up the rejection I had just been handed.

"Fridge." He points and she pulls it open, marvelling at our stacked shelves of snacks that Nick had to go out and buy me whenever I had a craving.

"Why do you have three jars of pickles?" She observes. "And two jars of pickled onions."

"You get cravings for pickled things too?" Sarah exclaims, finally showing any sense of life. "I was awful with Bethany, constantly having to munch on something sour. I think that's why she turned out that way."

"Mum!" She shoots her a glare and I cough awkwardly. Yep, I was sliding right into this family... As always, no troubles with the in-laws what-so-ever...

 **6:05pm**

"I'm proud of you." Nick pipes up as I chew on a green bean, stirring my fork round my plate of the food he had cooked us.

"Why?" I frown.

"For today." He smiles. "You did well."

"...Is that meant to be a joke?" I ask, despite the fact that in the end I had got on pretty well with Lily in particular, showing her how to make the butterfly paintings I remember being taught in primary school. Mum used to throw them in the bin back then of course, along with the cigarette butts and screw top lids. None of my paintings ever got stuck up on the fridge. Our broken fridge. That never contained any food.

"You're not her." I'm shocked for a second at what he says because it's almost as if he can tell exactly what I'm thinking, which probably wouldn't be difficult. "I don't know how many more times I'll have to tell you that before you believe it Carla."

"Why do you say that?" I am intrigued to know, worried that maybe he can read me all too clearly.

"Because it's been on your mind all day." His eyes are full of concern. "Since you noticed the bump this morning, to playing with the kids. I know why Christmas gets to you so much. You've told me before that you used to watch all the other children go and sit on Santa's lap. You never got the chance. Did you?"

"Nope." I respond, amazed at how well he listens to me. Most people would drown it out, let me babble on for hours and pretend they cared. Not Nick, he actually indulged in every word I said, he actually found me interesting. "Mam used to pack me off to school without an advent calendar chocolate like the rest of them. All the other kids would be chatting about what they've hung on the tree. What they've written on their Christmas list. I used to watch whilst they went to visit Santa. Mam said she didn't have the two pound entry fee, either that or she didn't care..."

I sigh as I put my fork down on my plate, I had completely lost my appetite now. Which was something for me, at the moment. I stand up, aching to pour myself a glass of wine but preventing the urge.

"I used to promise myself that I would never put a child through that." I lean on the kitchen counter, burying my head in my hands.

"And you won't." He finally speaks, not hesitating before coming over to stand by my side. "You won't because you're not her. You're you. And our child is going to be the luckiest little boy or girl ever. I promise you."

"...You promise?" I look up at him with wide eyes, slipping back into childish mode.

"Carla." He stares at me intently before I lean into him, hearing the steady beat of his heart in his chest. I feel his arms snake around me, keeping me sane, keeping me safe. "I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas Day:

I watch as I do every morning, as her eyes open, her fingers stretch out, she gives the slightest yawn. Just like our baby would the day it is born.

"Merry Christmas." I whisper and she turns her head slightly at the sound of my voice. She looks marginally confused at her surroundings, clearly not aware at first that it was in fact Christmas Day. "I got you a stocking."

"...You did not." She shoots me a look but it's underlined with appreciation.

"You told me you'd never had a stocking before so I decided to make you one." I laugh, pulling it off the side of the bed and handing it to her.

"Nick..." She trails off, softened by my gesture as she takes it off me. "...No ones ever done anything like this for me before."

"Open it then!" I exclaim and she hesitates before tipping it out on the bed. Out falls a collection of small items that I had been purchasing over the past few weeks, consisting of a dummy, a bottle opener, a stress ball, a packet of chocolate buttons (because she couldn't stop craving them), a small tub of bubble bath, a tiny teddy bear, a massage band, a mini hot water bottle and some skin care oil. "Most of it's pregnancy essentials."

"What including this?" She giggles, holding up the bottle opener.

"Well yeah that's for after... As well as the dummy." I point out. "Something for you and the baby."

"Aww..." She sorts through her gifts before kissing me on the lips. "Thank you darling."

"Come here." I take her hand and gently pull her out of bed. She places a hand on her tummy as she does so which makes me smile even more. I lead her out into the living room where I've put a few presents in a pile by the tree. "Santa's been."

"Shut up Nicholas." She slaps me lightly, although I could tell she was secretly enjoying it.

"Saint Nicholas, I'll have you know." I joke and she puts her head in her hands letting out a slight groan.

"I'm so using that when you have to dress up as Father Christmas for our kids." She tells me without thinking.

"Kids?" I raise my eyebrows. "Plural?"

"Ohh..." She moans again, covering her mouth in embarrassment, draping her hair over her face. She was adorable when she messed up, although we both knew secretly that maybe it wasn't a mistake. "Let's just see how this one goes first shall we?"

"Ok." I nod and kiss her on the cheek before passing her a huge present. "In case this isn't obvious..." It was a rounded shape which she opened to conceal a birthing ball.

"Apparently these are very useful." She places it down on the floor and squats down onto it. "Yeah, they're very useful."

"Thought it might be." I laugh. "It'll be even more useful when you can't even see over your own stomach."

"Don't remind me." She pulls a face. I could see the faint bump beneath her pyjama top now and it made it seem even more real. "Ok, I think it's my turn to give you a present."

"You've said that before..." I grin and she raises her eyebrows at me.

"Not quite as good as that." She shrugs and passes me a small parcel. I unwrap it to find a metal frame that contains a picture of us that Aidan took at Lloyd and Andrea's leaving party a few months back. Carla looked so happy. It was a few weeks after she had discovered she wasn't responsible for the fire and she was slung over my shoulders with a huge grin on her face.

"Ah, thank you." I smile, leaning over to kiss her before pulling her up off her birthing ball and sitting her down on the sofa. "You might need to sit down for this one." I tell her, seriousness laced in my voice which makes her look worried.

"...You're not gonna propose again?" She jokes.

"I think that would be a waste of my breath." I shake my head, handing her a black leather box with a red ribbon tied around it. She carefully undoes it and gasps when she sees the silver locket, her name carved into the jewellery. "Open it." I hold my breath as she carefully pulls it open.

It doesn't take her long to cry. Which I knew she would. Inside I had fitted the two sonogram photos; one from her first pregnancy and one from this one. She's shaking when she notices and I'm worried I might have upset her with my gesture.

"...I'm sorry I had to take your wallet..." I mumble, which was something I was dreading telling her because I knew how protective she was over her scan photos. "But it's not like you haven't done it to me before..."

She just sits there, tears sliding down her cheeks as she carefully observes the locket, opening and closing it, stroking her finger softly over the photos inside.

"I love you..." She finally whispers and that's when my heart stops pounding in fear. "I love you so much."

"So you like it?" I ask her and she finally moves her eyes to meet mine.

"I can't believe you'd do this for me..." She trails off, holding it out so that I could put it on for her. I move her hair to the side and slide it round her neck, fastening it at the back. I place a lingering kiss to her skin before pulling away. But she turns and slides into my arms, her head resting on my chest, her tears warm as they soak my t-shirt. "Thank you."

 **10:49am**

"Merry Christmas!" I exclaim, opening the door to the Platt's without bothering to knock. I doubt they would be able to hear over the racket they were causing anyway. I lead Carla by the hand, who I could tell was nervous about spending the day with my family. Well who wouldn't be?

"Happy Christmas Nick!" Mum exclaims, she was dancing around to 'Wonderful Christmastime' in a cardboard joker hat. I was assuming it was something out of the book Max was colouring in, which contained a series of cardboard cut-outs. She kisses me on the cheek before doing the same to Carla, who appeared to become more accepting of it each time. Kylie was frantically preparing dinner in the kitchen, clearly trying to beat her record of the previous years, which wouldn't be hard as we ended up eating Christmas lunch in the evenings. Gran was sat in the armchair, casually knitting a scarf as Max and Lily played by her feet.

"Seasons greetings and all the rest bro." David appears from the stairs and pats me on the back.

"Merry Christmas and happy birthday." I point out and pass him a bag of presents that was for the family to share but I think he assumes they were all for him. I place another bag down by Max and Lily which were the ones that Carla wrapped and they pounce on them excitedly.

"Now Max, lovie." Gran looks up. "Wait until mummy's here to watch you open them."

"You should sit down." I say to Carla, who is stood rubbing her tummy. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just aching a bit." She smiles and I kiss her.

"Eww!" Lily exclaims and I pull away, pointing to the sofa so that Carla goes and sits on it.

"A few years time and this could be your household." Mum tells her and she laughs nervously.

"Mum, don't give her nightmares before it's even born." David scolds, ripping open a tin of biscuits.

"No eating those before your dinner!" Kylie warns him as if she was his mother. Mum on the other hand doesn't look in the slightest bit bothered. I think she was already slightly tipsy, sat on the arm of the sofa with a sherry in her hand.

"Happy Christmas!" The door flies open again as Sarah and Bethany appear. I wince at their outfits. They were both wearing tight dresses which exposed a lot of cleavage. I expected it of Sarah but Bethany was still technically a child, despite the fact she didn't look it.

"Oh, what are you wearing?" David pulls a face, observing their hairstyles; Sarah's was pulled back in a ponytail with a Christmas scrunchie to decorate it whereas Bethany was wearing hers in pigtails with Christmas ribbons either side. They literally looked as if they had turned up as strippers.

"Happy birthday." She glares at him as Bethany gives him a shoe box that wasn't even wrapped.

"Thanks..." David nods as he opens it to reveal a pair of slippers. "These will come in useful when I'm sixty. You would have thought that you two might have some fashion sense."

"They were the cheapest pair in the shop." Bethany shrugs and gets elbowed in the ribs by Sarah. I could tell Carla was feeling a bit out of it so I walk over to stand behind the sofa where she was sat and lightly play with her hair. She jumps slightly at my touch but then smiles up at me.

"I wonder what Michael's doing today..." Mum ponders to herself.

"Gail will you shut up?" David drones. "That's the third time you've mentioned that this morning."

"Who would like a glass of mulled wine?" She continues, as if her thoughts hadn't been disturbed.

"I don't think you need one." I point out but she pours several glasses out of the jug anyway, proceeding to hand them round.

"No thanks Gail." Carla flashes her a smile.

"Why? I thought you loved a drink." She frowns, as if she was completely deluded.

"She's pregnant, remember." I remind her.

"Oh yes of course." She claps a hand over her mouth. "Sorry, Nick, here you go."

"No thanks." I roll my eyes at her. I knew it would kill Carla enough to be sat around people merrily drinking wine so I wasn't going to allow her to be alone.

"Why?" Gail frowns. "You're not pregnant too?"

"Yes mother." I say sarcastically.

"Have one Nick." Carla tells me sternly and I shake my head at her.

"No." I laugh slightly.

"You don't have to say no because of me." She sighs and I walk round the sofa to sit down next to her.

"Not everything is about you." I nudge her. "I don't want a drink."

"You work in a wine bar." She raises her eyebrows.

"Oh well! More for me!" Gail sings, taking the tray away from us, which was a relief because it had been taunting my girlfriend like crazy.

 **4:04pm**

"I thought we'd never leave." Carla hangs off my arm as we stroll down the cobbles towards the pub.

"Sorry, you're lucky we ate when we did!" I exclaim. "Usually lunch is served well into the evening."

"Do you think they thought I was really greedy?" She stresses.

"Probably." I shrug and she gives me a look. "But they know why you had thirds so at least you have an excuse."

"It's so embarrassing." She buries her head in my shoulder as we enter the Rovers.

"Enjoy it while you can." I tell her before we are greeted by Michelle.

"Hi!" She chirps, coming over and wrapping Carla in a hug. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas." She smiles back and kisses her on the cheek. I leave them to go over and greet Tyrone, Kevin and Tim who are drinking in the corner.

"Happy Christmas mate." Kevin shakes my hand. "And congratulations on the news."

"Yeah congrats." Tim pats me on the back. "You're a lucky man."

"Tim!" Sally yells from the booth where she was sat with Sophie, Izzy and Sinead. I hear 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' begin to play on the juke box and Carla's arms wrap round my shoulders.

"Sorry, can I have my fiancé back now?" I hear her ask the three men before pulling me away to dance with her. Michelle was singing nearby whilst she danced with Steve, her voice elegant and melodic as she used to do several gigs and be in a band. Carla looks up at me as I wrap my arms around her waist. "This time next year."

"This time next year." I kiss her and we are suddenly parted by Aidan holding a branch of mistletoe over our heads.

"Ok, _now_ you can do that lovey-dovey stuff." He grins and Carla rolls her eyes at him before kissing me again.


	11. Chapter 11

"Have you seen this?" I ask Nick as I walk out of the bedroom. He was sat, head in his hands on the sofa, probably because he hadn't had any sleep because I wanted ice cream at one in the morning and he had offered to go out and get me some. As much as I objected he still went anyway and then had to watch whilst I sat in bed for half an hour eating it.

"Seen what?" He mutters.

"This letter from the hospital." I wave it in the air despite the fact he wasn't looking at me. "Our next scan is on New Year's Eve."

"That's my birthday..." He looks up, bemused, as if I had forgotten.

"I know." I grin. "Best birthday present ever ey?" I collect my things and stuff them in my bag, pulling my jacket on. "Look, I need to go because I've got a meeting at ten this morning and I have to prepare for it."

"Ok." He shrugs and that's when I finally turn to question him.

"Nick what's up?" I sigh. "Is it because of last night? I told you not to go-"

"No, I'm fine." He raises his voice slightly and I edge towards him warily. "Sorry... Babe, I'm just a bit all over the place today. I'll see you later ok?" He tells me as I go to kiss him but he rises from the sofa and walks away from me. So instead I just storm out of the flat, annoyed that yet again I had no clue as to what was going on.

 **11:15am**

"I would say crack the champagne out but I don't think it would be the best idea given the circumstances." Aidan hypes, giving me a high five as we enter the office.

"It went well then?" Johnny assumes by our happy expressions.

"In the bag." Aidan practically yells unprofessionally.

"They want fifty units if we can make the samples up by next Tuesday." I inform him and his face lights up.

"Fifty?" He exclaims and I nod. "That's amazing! Well done you two!"

"Thank you." Aidan accepts the compliment.

"Hey, can I go tell Nick?" I ask, excitedly.

"Can't you keep away from him for a few hours?" Aidan rolls his eyes. "But yeah go ahead."

"You better be back soon though." Johnny calls to me once I've grabbed my bag and have left the office. I was buzzing, this order was going to secure us work into the New Year, the workers would be over the moon.

"You'll never guess what?" I place my bag down on the bar of the Bistro, my boyfriend already there pouring a glass of wine. He doesn't look up when I arrive. "Nick?" I try and grab his attention but he appears to be completely lost in thought because the wine reaches the brim and spills out over the edge of the glass and onto the bar. That's when he finally acknowledges what he is doing and groans loudly.

"Flaming hell." He grumbles, flicking the moisture off his hand and going to get a cloth. I wait patiently until he has cleaned up the mess before trying to greet him again.

"Nick!" I say a little louder and he finally turns to look at me.

"Oh... Hi." He frowns, clearly completely oblivious to the fact I had been stood here the whole time. "...Sorry." His eyes move from the wine glass to me and back again before fear fills his eyes. "Are you ok? Is everything alright with the baby?"

"Yes fine!" I brush him off, wanting to get to the bottom of this. "I'm more concerned about you."

"Me?" He frowns. "Why?"

"...Because you're miles away babe." I laugh slightly. "Is your head ok?"

"My head?" He looks completely lost.

"Yes." I nod, trying to get through to him. "Your head injury... Maybe you should go and have a lie down at the flat?"

"I'm fine." He huffs, taking a sip out of the wine glass.

"No, you're not." I persist and I can see it's making him angry. "Look I'm not leaving until you tell me what's up."

"I'm just tired, that's all." He shrugs, which I didn't believe for a second.

"So it is my fault..." I trail off.

"No it's not your fault!" He practically yells which catches the attention of a nearby table. "Sorry..." He whispers to me, coming over properly and taking my hand in his. "It's not your fault, sorry."

"Nick..." I'm worried now and he can see it.

"We'll talk tonight." He promises me, and hesitates before leaning over the bar and kissing me on the forehead. He squeezes my hand one more time before going off to serve a nearby table, which I'm assuming is my cue to leave.

 **6:09pm**

I'm already sat on the sofa when Nick arrives home, wincing at 'One Born Every Minute', which I had dared to put on the television. There were some women full on screaming in the delivery room and I was fearful that might be me; I couldn't shut my gob to save my life.

"Why I am watching this?" I ask when he shuts the door behind him. I was curled up in a little ball, one hand over my mouth. "Do I really have to do this?"

"It's a bit late now to back out..." He gives a laugh but I can tell it's forced, however he still moves to come and sit down next to me, rigid at my side. Why wasn't he comforting me? He could tell I was scared... Maybe I had just got so used to being dependent on him. I take the liberty of practically crawling into his lap as if I was a kitten needy for attention. I lean up against his chest and his arm shifts around me. I'm not really watching it anymore, I'm using the horrific scenes on the television as an excuse to bury my head in his chest, breathing in the familiar smell that made me feel safe. That's until I hear it suddenly cut out, which is when I move to see he has paused it.

"...You were going to tell me what was up." I remind him, removing myself from his presence to sit at the opposite end of the sofa. He just stares down at the carpet as I try and convince myself that there weren't tears brimming in his eyes. "Nick..." I hesitate before speaking instead of him and once the words have begun to flow they don't stop. "Are you having second thoughts? I knew it. Peter was exactly like this; acting all excited at first but then going out and getting drunk, leaving me completely on my own... I can't do that again Nick please don't..."

"Woah!" He suddenly snaps back to reality, turning too look at me. "...Are you seriously comparing me to Peter?"

"It was too much stress for him to be under." I babble on. "He was driven to have the affair with Tina, by me, because I pressurised him too much. Then he left me... Everyone leaves me. Nick, please-"

"I am not going to leave you." It's possibly the most serious I've ever heard him speak, he's looking directly at me now, a hand on my leg to calm me down. But he can't prevent a tear sliding down his cheek and he brushes it away quickly, as if I didn't see. "I will never leave you. Ok?"

"...Then what is it?" I persist and he buries his head in his hands.

"I had a dream last night..." He trails off before looking at me. "Look, Carla this isn't the first pregnancy I've been a father to."

"I know." I frown, as if he had gone mad. We had talked about the miscarriages many times before.

"No I mean... Erica yes." He sighs. "But before her..."

"What, somebody else had a miscarriage?" The words catch in my throat, suddenly feeling extremely selfish; this whole pregnancy had seemed to be based around me. I had focused barely any attention on how he must be feeling.

"Abortion." The word slips out of his mouth. "More than once... Twice."

"Twice?" I exclaim, shocked by this sudden revelation.

"I tried to push it out of my head Carla, I did a long time ago but then I had this dream last night and it brought everything back." He is crying now and I bite my lip, I hardly ever saw him cry, it was killing me. "Natasha, had an abortion behind my back... And then to top it all off she pretended she was still pregnant with my baby. Which kind of got my hopes up..."

I just stare at him, wishing him to continue, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb as a source of comfort.

"...The next part's not so great..." He avoids eye contact with me. "Years ago and I mean years ago... I kind of... I..."

"Go on." I whisper and he takes a deep breath.

"I forced Leanne to have an abortion." He admits, expecting me to retract immediately but I don't, I stay there, holding his hand. "...We were so young and immature and I wasn't ready so I told everyone she miscarried. Which I now completely regret. I hate myself for doing it... Because now I've lost three children and I don't want to lose a fourth Carla."

I don't hesitate before going to hug him; wrapping my arms around his shoulders as tears begin to trickle down my cheeks as well. This was the most in depth I had ever known him. I opened up about my past enough times but he always felt restrained to explain his to me. This was a sign that he trusted me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and he pulls away to link our fingers.

"I need you to know that I will never ever hurt you." He promises me and I believe every word he says. "I've never wanted anything more than I do now and I'm going to work so hard to make both your lives perfect."

He rests a hand on my stomach and we smile at one another, tears staining our cheeks as the night progresses. 


	12. Chapter 12

**New Years Eve:**

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Nicky, happy birthday to you!" Carla sings which wakes me up. I am shocked to see she is already up and awake, carrying a tray into the room with a cake and two glasses on it.

"Careful!" Is what I say first, sitting up and helping her set it down on the bed.

"Is that all you can say?" She raises her eyebrows at me.

"I don't want you carrying heavy things. If I have to tell you that one more time!" I exclaim and then see her expression. "I'm sorry, this is lovely thank you sweetheart... I'm assuming you didn't make this?"

"Uh, thank you for doubting my cooking skills." She grins. "But no... Freshco's finest, I didn't really want to risk poisoning the baby."

"Come here." I tell her, holding my arms out and she comes to join me on the bed. She cuddles up to me as I pick up a glass. "...Champagne?"

"Non-alcoholic." She points out and I nod before plastering her in kisses which makes her squeal slightly. I move my head down to her tummy and place several kisses onto it which makes her giggle.

"Thank you." I whisper into her belly.

"Who's that to? Me or the baby." She smiles.

"Both." I finally look up and kiss her on the lips before she lays her head in my chest and falls back to sleep.

 **2:50pm**

"I was actually contemplating getting one of my workers to make some clothes for it." She suggests, excitedly. I was relieved to notice that she was nowhere near as scared of today's scan as she had been at the last one. We were sat in the waiting room whilst she rested her head on my shoulder and flicked through a baby magazine. She was in a good mood today and it made me happy. "That way we can have some personalised items."

"Yeah well I think we'll need to have a name first." I point out. "Least of all know the sex."

"Ooh, I meant to ask what do you want to do about that?" She turns to me.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well when the chance comes, do you want to find out there and then or wait till the birth?" Her eyes are wide with excitement.

"I'll leave that up to you." I smile. "I'm not fussed either way."

"Well I would say leave it as a surprise." She contemplates. "But I've never been very good at them... I guess we'll just see how it plays out."

"Carla Connor." A midwife calls and she jumps up, grabbing my hand.

"Hi." She beams, I think maybe she had been eating too many chocolate buttons because the sugar seemed to have gone to her head.

"You both alright?" She greets and I decided not to answer in case she was referring to Carla and the baby.

"Yeah." Carla smiles. "It's his birthday today."

"Ah, happy birthday." She nods at me.

"Thank you." I say as Carla is settled on the bed.

"So, everything has been going smoothly?" She asks us, preparing equipment.

"Yeah, there was a bit of complication earlier on." Carla informs her. "But it's probably in my files."

"Yes, so I see." She nods. "You were given the all clear though yes?"

"She was." I kiss her on the forehead.

"Right, any unusual cramping." She opens a page on her computer.

"Not really." Carla shakes her head. "Nothing to be alarmed about anyway."

"How's your morning sickness going?" She continues.

"Fun." Carla says sarcastically. "But it's toning down a bit now."

"That's natural." She nods. "It will be consistent throughout your pregnancy but you shouldn't get it as often now."

"Well that's good news." I nudge her.

"Any uncomfortable gas?" She continues.

"Ew!" Carla exclaims and I burst out laughing as she hits me lightly on the arm. "Shut up!"

"Ok, we'll leave that question for now..." The midwife trails off.

"You're so immature." I whisper and she pulls a face at me.

"Right, I'm going to start the scan now then." The midwife smiles warmly. "This might be a bit cold as I'm sure you're aware."

"I've put up with worse." Carla means it as a joke but I roll my eyes, kissing her on the lips and linking my fingers with hers. It's in that second that I see she gets scared, it's the feeling of the gel, the dull beep of the scanner as its moved over her stomach. She tightens her grip on my hand and looks up at me for reassurance.

"It's ok." I whisper and she lets out a sigh of relief when the heartbeat begins to boom out. "Hey, see."

"Nice and regular." The midwife beams at us. "Let me have a look... Everything looks normal."

"That'll be a first." Carla mutters.

"Do you want to have a look?" She asks us as if she needed to. The smile on Carla's face says it all and she turns the screen to meet our eyes.

"Oh..." Carla exclaims, sounding surprised. "It's a bit bigger."

"Well what did you expect?" I laugh and she shrugs.

"You're doing a great job." The midwife informs us. "In fact I think I can almost see a little smile on its face."

Carla giggles at this and I wipe a tear off her face. She didn't seem to worry anymore about getting emotional over the baby.

"I'll take a photo for you." She tells us as she clicks a button. "Then when you're all cleaned up you can go and bring the new year in. Do you have any plans?"

"We're going to our local pub." She smiles at me and I lean over to kiss her on the forehead again. "Our friends own it."

"Lucky you." She raises her eyebrows, helping her up off the bed and letting her top slip down after she had cleaned her tummy. "Well then, happy new year."

"Happy new year." I thank her and then take Carla's hand as we leave the room. "See, everything is fine."

"I can't believe it." She bites her lip, unfolding the sonogram photo and running her finger along the smooth paper.

"I'm proud of you." I tell her and she gives me a look before kissing me.

 **11:57pm**

The party was in full swing; Craig and Faye were running around with party poppers, handing them out to everyone. Emily was chatting away to a group of people in the corner, informing them of the religious meanings of the new year. Mary was sat babbling on to Rita and Norris about many New Years Eve's she had spent with her mother as a child. Carla and Michelle were dancing in the centre of the pub to some song from their childhood. She looked in her element, I felt so lucky to be a part of her life.

"Your life's gonna change a bit this next year ey?" Aidan asks me, clinking his glass with mine. I was watching my drinking because I still wanted to be able to walk Carla home in one piece.

"Yep." I nod. "And I couldn't be happier about it."

"So you should be." He smiles. "I'm glad she's finally settling down. Thought she was doomed from the day I watched her play kiss-chase in the playground."

"You think she will settle down?" I ask him, which was a question that had been playing on my mind for a while.

"She really loves you." Aidan confirms as Carla flicks her head back to smile at me. "Anyone could see that."

"Well I love her." I tell him.

"I should hope so." He grins. "Can't imagine why... But I'm happy for you."

"Hey." Carla comes over and wraps her hands round my neck, looking up to face me once the song was over. We sway gently until the countdown begins and people begin to scream over us.

"I love you." I have to virtually shout in her ear.

"I love you too." She smiles and then blushes, which is absolutely adorable. "...You've made me so happy... And I don't say that to many people so..."

"I'm honoured." I manage to say before Michelle is tugging at us to join in the countdown.

"We are going to be ok aren't we?" Carla suddenly asks and I don't need to say anything in response except smile down at her and hold her close.

"10, 9, 8, 7..." My eyes dart around the excited people in the room and then back to my girlfriend, who was carrying my baby. "3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!" The room erupts and Carla bites her lip slightly before kissing me, I part her lips and massage her tongue gently.

"Happy new year!" Michelle hugs us in turn, splitting us apart.

"Happy new year Chelle." Carla kisses her on the cheek and then turns to me once she has moved back to Steve. "This is going to be the most... Emotional, exciting, painful and rewarding year of my life."

"I promise you..." I look into her eyes. "I'm going to do everything possible to make you happy."

"Yeah, you better." She grins before kissing me again.

This was going to be the best year ever.


	13. Chapter 13

"Ok so I have an issue." I emerge from the bedroom, just wearing one of Nick's shirts to cover up.

"What?" He asks, he's sat reading the paper and munching on a piece of toast.

"My black jeans won't fit around my waist..." I tell him and he suddenly bursts out laughing. "Nick!" I exclaim, throwing a cushion at him which narrowly misses his head. "It's not funny!"

"It is a little bit." He grins.

"How would you like it if I made you super fat and sick every morning and for your feet to sweat all the time?" I pout at him but he just carries on laughing.

"Is that what that smell was last night?" He chuckles and I hurl another cushion at him, this time knocking the piece of toast out of his hand.

"Shut up!" I yell, childishly. "This is all your fault!"

"Mmm... No, I think it needs two people involved." He jokes and I glare at him. "Ok, ok! I was winding you up. Sorry, today's not a day to be making jokes clearly."

"What am I supposed to do?" I stress, pacing around until he holds out his arm for me.

"Do you want me to tell you what to do?" He asks and I nod, going to sit beside him. He moves his hand so that his fingers are tracing up and down my tummy, which was now beginning to show quite clearly. "Relax."

"Ugh..." I mutter and he raises his eyebrows at me. "You know I hate relaxing."

"Yeah and I also know you used to hate me." He points out. "Some things just have to change."

"...I wouldn't be too sure about that." I reply, smartly, giving him a look before curling into his chest. "...This is hard."

"I know." He sighs, playing with my hair. "But you're doing so well sweetheart."

"...This baby better be grateful for this." I poke my tummy lightly. "Sometimes I wish I had respected my mam a bit more... Now I know what she went through I mean... Only sometimes though."

"Yeah but she was a self obsessed drunk." Nick shrugs.

"Exhibit B." I point to myself. "What if I get drunk when I'm with it and I don't know what to do?"

"Well firstly, I'll be here to pick up the pieces because unfortunately Mrs Connor, you're stuck with me." He nudges me. "And secondly, you won't."

"How do you know?" I sigh.

"Because you'll love him or her too much." He explains. "You love them now don't you?"

"Yes." I nod, that was something I could answer. "I love you and the baby more than anything."

"Well then, problem solved." He kisses me.

"Are you in work today?" I question.

"Yeah, why do you think I'm dressed like this?" He scoffs, indicating to his suit. "Why?"

"Ugh... Cause I'm gonna have to go maternity shopping at some point whether I like it or not..." I trail off, fiddling with his fingers.

"Ask Chelle to go with you?" He suggests. "Besides aren't you supposed to be working today?"

"Well yeah but I'm the boss." I shrug. "...Maybe I will go ask Chelle, I haven't had a girly catch up in ages."

"Take my card if you like." He offers. "For the maternity clothes."

"...Wow." I stammer. "Never did I think you would say that again."

"Yeah well I trust you." He kisses me on the cheek. "And I highly doubt you'll be going to a casino so..."

"Nope." I shake my head. "Ok, thank you."

 **10:13am**

"Chelle in?" I greet Steve and he nods bluntly before walking into the back. She appears almost immediately. "What's up with him?"

"Oh I don't know." Michelle rolls her eyes. "Got out the wrong side of bed as always."

"I need to ask a massive favour." I jump straight to the point."

"Uh... I'm not giving birth for you." She grins.

"Bit late for that." I scrunch my nose up. "No, I was wondering, if you're not too busy if you'd come shopping with me today."

"And the favour is?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Well it's maternity shopping..." I shrug.

"Still, it's shopping." She points out.

"I was just worried you might be working." I continue.

"Easily sorted." She smiles. "Steve! I'm going out! Go, now."

 **1:21pm**

"See what I mean?" I brush my finger along a rack of clothes. "Everything's too... Cute and fluffy."

"This is nice." Michelle holds up a plain blue top with lace embroidery around the hem.

"Give it here." I reach out and take it from her, examining it carefully. This was the problem with owning a knicker factory, I was constantly checking that the stitching and material was up to scratch. "Yeah... Suppose."

"Ok well there you go, you've got some more black jeans, three tops and some pairs of leggings." She points to my basket. "That should keep you going surely."

"...It's all too big." I moan.

"Listen Carla." She places her hand on my arm. "I was fifteen. I was paranoid about losing my figure and I still had to wear school uniform!"

"Yeah I remember." I laugh slightly at the thought.

"Anyway..." She shoots me a look. "What I am trying to say is that, I love Ryan more than anything... Even if he's not my real son. Plus, I burned it off didn't I? You will too."

"Yeah ok." I sigh. "It's worth it?"

"Do you even have to ask?" She smiles before linking my arm and leading me to the cashier. I load the garments onto the till and pull out Nick's card.

"Uh... Are you allowed to use that?" Michelle eyes it up cautiously.

"Michelle!" I retort. "Yes, he said I could borrow it."

"Hmm." She raises her eyebrows at me and I glare at her.

"When are you expecting?" The saleswoman smiles warmly at me. People hardly ever asked me that, a lump forms in my throat as I look at Michelle for reassurance.

"Um... 26th May." I cough slightly, having the date set in my head.

"Aw, a spring baby." She continues and I nod.

"Yeah..." I try and respond, my nerves shot.

"She's very excited, believe it or not." Michelle nudges me and I give her a smile.

 **8:03pm**

"You're back late!" Nick exclaims from the sofa when I push the door open.

"Sorry!" I throw my arms around him and plaster kisses on his cheek. "We went for dinner."

"At my expense?" He raises his eyebrows as I pass him his card back.

"No, I paid for that." I ruffle his hair. "Chelle has been giving me the ins and outs of pregnancy."

"Ooh, anything interesting?" He asks as I go round to join him. He puts his arm around me and I move my legs so they are lying across his.

"Scared me to death." I tell him. "But she told me some positive stuff too so..."

"Yeah like the fact that you are growing our child inside you." Nick points out.

"Mmm... That." I link my fingers with his. "...I'm sorry about being off this morning."

"It's fine." He smiles. "I've put up with worse."

"I'm a cow." I look at him, waiting for some sort of compliment to be offered in return.

"Well yeah but that's why I love you." He laughs and I elbow him hard in the ribs. "Ow! I do."

"I do." I nod. "That's what you'll be saying soon."

"Do you want to talk about the wedding?" He asks. "...I mean, we haven't really mentioned it."

"Well, I want to have one." I frown, wondering what he meant.

"Ok, listen." He shifts me into his lap, wrapping me in a cuddle whilst I play with his tie. "I want it to be perfect. So I don't think we should push anything for now... If that's ok with you. I think we should wait until after the baby is born and then we can do it properly."

"Then you won't be marrying a blob on your wedding day." I giggle.

"A blob?" He questions and kisses me on the forehead. "I would marry you whatever shape or size you were."

"Really?" I look up at him, my eyes wide.

"Yes." He persists and I believed him.


	14. Chapter 14

"Carla?" I rub my eyes as I open the bedroom door. There were no lights on in the living room and I could only just make out her figure bouncing on her birthing ball. "What are you doing? It's four in the morning."

"Couldn't sleep." She whispers, she had been crying, I could tell.

"Hey..." I walk over to her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"Just had a nightmare..." She trails off and I glance around the pitch black room before scooping her up. "Put me down."

"Nope." I tell her, going back into the bedroom and laying her on the bed. "I'm making you hot chocolate."

 **4:13am**

"Here you go." I enter the bedroom where she's propped up against pillows, the dim light of the bedside lamp flooding the room. I place a mug of hot chocolate on the side table and then pass her a hot water bottle, resting it on her tummy gently. I climb into bed beside her, she looks so stiff next to me, I don't dare touch her in case she breaks. "Talk to me."

"...It was um..." She stammers. "I had a dream... About... It was around this time."

"Oh sweetheart." I sigh, putting my head in my hands. "I forgot... Four months."

"I woke up thinking it had happened again." She's shaking now and I decide I can't just leave her there. I hesitate before moving closer to her. She places her hand on my chest, her head under my chin as I wrap my arms around her. "I thought I'd lost it again and that can't happen... Not now."

"It won't." I assure her. "You need to stop doubting yourself."

"But I can't." She raises her voice slightly, looking panicked.

"Ok." I say as softly as possible and she starts to cry, trying to force the tears back as best she could. "Don't." I tell her, seeing that she was trying to restrain herself. "You can cry, it's ok."

"You think I'm weak." She continues to put words in my mouth.

"No, I don't." I tell her, sternly. "Carla. I don't."

"...I bet Erica never did this." She mutters, as I lightly brush the tears off her cheeks. "Nice, normal woman who doesn't wake up crying in fear some nights."

"I don't want normal." He tells me. "I want you. Ok? I love you and I always will love you. I wish you would just accept that."

"You know why I can't..." She mumbles. "Never been good enough for anyone me."

"What's brought all this on?" I ask her. "You've been fine for weeks. Now you have a nightmare and you begin to doubt everything. You're the strongest woman I know, you've made it through far too much to let something like this knock you back."

"It doesn't stop me from being scared." She whispers and I place a lingering kiss to her forehead. "I'm scared."

"I'm scared too." I tell her and she looks shocked at this. "Yes. I am. I'm terrified. I've never done this before either, but we're going to do this together ok?"

She just nods, resting her head back down on my chest and I rock her gently until she falls back to sleep.

 **9:13am**

"Yeah, sorry Steph." I speak in a hushed voice on the phone. "I just really can't leave her today. I'll make it up to you."

"It's fine Nick, honestly." She responds. "Take all the time you need, we can hold the fort."

"Ok, thanks." I whisper. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Who was that?" Carla asks as she walks into the living room, arms folded defensively above her bump.

"Oh just the suppliers." I lie. "They can't deliver today that's all."

"Is that going to be an issue?" She bites her lip.

"No." I shake my head. "It was bread, we've got tonnes of bread."

"Well you should get going..." She checks the clock. "It's past nine."

"Good job I'm not working today." I shrug.

"...No." She shakes her head, stubbornly. "You're not taking the day off for me."

"No, I'm not." I laugh. "I took this off ages ago, I'm not supposed to be working today."

"You own the place..." She frowns.

"And I'm supposed to be working from home." I try to convince her.

"Well get to it then." She clicks her fingers. "Paperwork. Glad I don't work at weekends."

"Yes so am I because you need to rest." I prompt her. "Duvet day. Now."

"Yes boss." She salutes me, sitting down on her birthing ball.

"That was a successful purchase then." I assume.

"It's just fun to bounce on." She tells me, clicking on the TV.

"Don't break it." I warn her.

"Scuse me Nicholas!" She exclaims, although she knows I didn't mean it like that.

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" I dare to ask and she hesitates before nodding. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Breakfast muffin from Roy's." She decides to be awkward.

"Right, that's me off then." I grab my coat.

"Nick! I was joking." She laughs.

"No." I shake my head at her, bending down to kiss her on the lips. "If that's what you want then that's what you'll have. Be good."

"Aren't I always?" She smiles at me before I shut the door to the flat.

 **9:34am**

"One breakfast balm please Roy." I greet him. "Actually, make that two, I'll reheat her one later if she wants it."

"These are for Carla then I take it." He assumes, taking my money. "You are a very respectful gentleman, I hope you know that."

"Well she's carrying my baby." I respond. "I think I should be the one who respects her."

"How is she doing? I keep meaning to pop round." He makes friendly conversation as he prepares my order.

"She's ok, a little bit bewildered I think." I explain. "But I mean it's a big thing for both of us so."

"Nick hi." Anna appears behind Roy. "How is Carla doing?"

"Alright yeah." I nod and she gives me a warm smile.

"I remember it... Our Gary was a nightmare in the later months." She recites. "I had awful back ache."

"Don't go telling her that." I laugh slightly, not wanting anything to freak Carla out anymore than she already was.

"What can I get you?" Roy asks Chesney who had just entered the cafe.

"Two coffee's please." He orders, placing a few quid down on the counter. "Ah Nick, I meant to ask how you were, Sinead says Carla's doing ok?"

"Uh... Yeah, she's fine." I tell him, grateful when Roy finally hands my butty's over because I was getting sick of having to answer the same question over and over again. "Thanks Roy."

"Well say hi from me." Anna beams and I nod before leaving. Luckily it was just a short walk up Victoria street before I reach the flats. I enter the code and climb the stairs, siding the key into the door and pushing it open.

She's lying on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling with her eyes wide.

"Hey?" I rush over to her. "You ok?"

"I'm really dizzy." She explains, putting a hand over her face. "I looked it up but then the room was spinning and I couldn't read it so I had to lie down."

"Um, right ok." I try to keep the panic out of my voice.

"My phone is there." She points her hand out to the coffee table without moving her head.

"Ok, stay still." I tell her, picking it up and observing the web page she had open. "Alright, dizziness in pregnancy..." I skim read. "It's not uncommon to experience lightheadedness particularly in mid-pregnancy when blood pressure is at the lowest point. Ways to resolve this is to put your head between your knees..."

"Well how the hell am I supposed to do that?" She yells. "I'm growing a person in between my head and my knees."

"Ok calm down, cause that's not gonna be good for it, is it?" I tell her. "Right... Other ways to resolve this can be to lie on your side."

"Ok, I can do that." She looks at me and I lift her leg slightly to help roll her over, supporting her head as I do so.

"Any better?" I keep my hand on her knee.

"Um... Not really." She pulls a face. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah well I don't really think that's the priority right now." I say, trying to keep my cool.

"Well it might be, because I haven't eaten all morning." She retorts.

"Ok, listen." I calm her. "This can often be because you're standing up too fast. Did you stand up to fast?"

"Not any faster than I usually do." She replies sourly.

"Uh... Lying on your back." I read. "Remember that; you're not supposed to be lying on your back at night in the second trimester."

"So how am I supposed to lie?" She rolls her eyes. "I can't really lie on my front."

"On your side." I inform her.

"Oh well that'll be a barrel of laughs." She says sarcastically. "What's next on the list Doctor Tilsley?"

"Vaso... Vasovagal... Syncope..." I try to dictate. "Ok, we'll leave that one... Not enough food or drink."

"Ey! That'd be it." She exclaims and I give her a look.

"Fine." I pull the still warm muffin out of my pocket and hand it to her. "I got you another one for later too."

"Aww..." She bites into it. "Well now I feel bad for yelling at you."

"You need to take these things seriously Carla." I sigh.

"I was!" She shouts through a mouthful of food. "I was scared as hell when the room started spinning and you weren't here."

"Right well, that's it I'm not leaving you again." I sit down in the arm chair, watching her as she happily scoffs her breakfast.

"I don't need a babysitter." She mutters, although I know she didn't mean it.

"Evidently you do." I confirm and she stops eating to look at me.

"...Sorry." She says in a quiet voice and I roll my eyes, running my hands through my hair.

"You don't have to be sorry, you're pregnant." I sigh.

"Oh really? Didn't know that." She says sarcastically again but grins afterwards so I knew it was a joke. We sit in silence for a while until she finishes her breakfast and then licks her lips, satisfied.

"Feel any better now?" I finally break the silence.

"Yes." She nods. "Can I get up now."

"No." I point at her.

"But I want a hug." She speaks like a child and I sigh. Moving from the chair to sit her up on the sofa. "I'm not a china doll, I won't break, you know."

"Will you shut up with your sarcy comments?" I poke her lightly on the nose before wrapping a blanket around her and holding her close. I play with her hair as her lids begin to close, not caring that it was still late morning. I let her fall asleep in my arms, where I knew she would be safe if I could hold her forever.


	15. Chapter 15

"Ok, this order needs to be shipped by end of play today." I yell, walking out of the office in flats for once because heels were killing me at the moment. It made me feel a lot less powerful and I hated it.

"We're almost there." Aidan assures me as he dashes past to climb the stairs.

"Beth!" I snap. "Repeat what I just said."

"Beth?" She pulls a face.

"That joke is old." I huff. "Back to your machines chop chop, I won't have Jennings waiting. We already messed up once because of your slacking."

I storm back into the office, leaving them to gossip amongst themselves.

"That told them." Johnny mutters, flicking through a newspaper.

"Are you planning on doing any work today?" I ask him, bitterly.

"I'm just waiting for Kirk to get back to me." He informs me.

"Get back to you with what?" I narrow my eyes.

"I sent him off with some petty cash." He holds his hands up. "We need more brown tape, I was planning to help him out because Kate's sorting the Jennings order."

"Well why don't you go and help Kate with the Jennings order whilst you wait for Kirk?" I question.

"Ok mardy chops!" He pulls himself out of the chair. "Chill out, have a glass of wine or something..."

"That's not funny!" I yell out of the office door as he scarpers off. I turn to face my workers who are all looking up from their machines. "What? What are you gawping at? Alya, in here now!"

"Seconds up." Fiz mutters.

"Ey?" I ask and then turn to where she's staring behind me. Nick was standing there, arms folded over his chest as if he still ran the place with me. "What are you doing here."

"What a lovely greeting from my lovely fiancé." He addresses the staff and they chortle under their breath.

"Oh shut up." I glare at him.

"Maybe you can sort her out." Sean directs at him. "She's been in a foul mood all day."

"Sean!" I snap. "He'll be sorting you out a job when you're fired from this place if you're not careful."

"Ok!" Nick places his hands on my shoulders, directing me towards the office. "Let's just go in here."

"No! You don't tell me what to do in my own factory." I virtually spit at him and he closes the door behind us. "Nick! Get off me."

"What is up with you today?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Nothing I'm just in a bad mood that's all." I scoff.

"Yeah, can you sort her out?" Aidan stalks into the office, setting down a bunch of files on the desk. "She hasn't shut her gob all day."

"Oi!" I retort.

"Hormones." Aidan sings, practically dancing round the office.

"I'll sack you, you know?" I threaten him.

"You'll have no work force left at this rate." Nick points out and Aidan nods in agreement.

"Why are you even here?" I glare at him, pushing him away but he wasn't having any of it.

"Well I brought you some chocolate brownie." He holds it out to me. "You said you wanted some earlier... But if you don't want it then..."

"Why do you always have to be so nice to me?" I groan, taking it off to him and unwrapping it.

"Yeah Nick." Aidan nudges him. "How horrible of you."

"I can't win." He shrugs at him.

"...Thank you." I mutter, swallowing the cake down and feeling a bit happier now I had some sugar inside of me. I rub my tummy as if apologising to the baby for not giving it what it wanted sooner.

"Right well, I'll go then." Nick grins, beginning to walk off before I grab his arm. He rolls his eyes as he pulls me into a hug, kissing the side of my head affectionately.

"Aww, cuties." Aidan teases and I have a strong urge to throw the rest of my brownie at him, if I didn't want to eat it so badly.

 **1:45pm**

"Just that please Rita." I place my magazine down on the desk and then am suddenly drawn to the stack of chocolate bars. "And those." I add after taking a handful.

"Taking its toll is it?" She chuckles. "How are you coping?"

"It's hard but rewarding I suppose." I shrug.

"You're probably sick of everyone asking you that." She says, taking my money.

"Not when it's you Rita." I smile at her, trying to be friendly before taking my change. "See you later."

"See you love." She replies as I leave the shop.

"Ey up!" I hear Michelle's voice from up the street. She's marching up the cobbles in heeled boots, clearly going to Dev's for some supplies. "Is that chocolate I see Carla Connor?"

"Problem?" I grin at her as she finally reaches me. "Ugh... I literally cannot stop eating sugary things. It's chocolate mainly; chocolate buttons, brownie, hot chocolate, now this. At least I have an excuse to be the size of the house."

"Enjoy it while you can." She smiles at me. "Wish I could just eat chocolate all day long."

"Uh! That's not all I do thank you." I argue. "I've been running the factory all day, keeping them on their toes."

"Yeah so I hear." Michelle nods. "Aidan says you've been threatening to sack everyone."

"Not everyone... Just Sean and Beth and Kirk and... Ok, quite a few." I ponder and she laughs. "He's such a gossip, I tell you what he'd be best mates with Norris. We should set them up on a date."

"That'd cheer you up." She nudges me.

"I just get wound up easily at the moment." I sigh. "I have good days and bad days, you know?"

"Yeah I do." She reminds me. "So if you ever need a chat missy, you know where I am. Anyway, I better be off, Steve wants some more ham for his butties."

"And he's got you running his errands for him?" I raise my eyebrows at her. "See you later babe."

"See ya." She walks off across the road as I head back to the factory.

 **5:04pm**

"Hi." I call as I enter the flat.

"Hey." I hear Nick's familiar voice. I dump my bag on the sofa before going to the fridge.

"Where are you?" I frown, pulling the door open and getting the jar of pickles out.

"In the bedroom." He shouts.

"Mmm, kinky." I giggle, unscrewing the lids off the mustard and pickles and dunking one of them in the yellow sauce.

"How can you eat those things?" He asks when he enters the living room.

"It's not me." I assure him, tapping my tummy and crunching it loudly for satisfaction. "I don't even like them."

"Yeah well the baby can enjoy them now because we won't be cooking them for it when it's born." He pulls a face.

"We won't be cooking at all." I warn him. "I don't want social services round every day of the week Nick."

"I've been reading this." He holds up a leaflet, changing the subject. "Lamaze classes."

"What's that?" I frown, taking another pickle from the jar.

"Childbirth class." He informs me. "Preparation for labour and birth and things like-"

"Ugh..." I groan, putting my head down on the kitchen surface.

"I know baby." He comes over to me. "Look, I know you don't want to think about it but we need to at some point. Hey? Hey, Carla." He strokes my hair and I slowly lift my head from the granite. "We can't keep putting it off."

"Why?" I take another bite of my pickle.

"Because it's happening." He says and I suddenly panic. It was happening.

"Oh God..." I moan again, standing up and pacing round the kitchen, rubbing my face in angst. "This is actually gonna happen isn't it?"

"Yeah." He laughs slightly.

"No... No I can't give birth." I begin to stress and he sighs, throwing the leaflet down on the counter. "I can't."

"Yes, you can." He assures me.

"No Nick! It's alright for you, you don't have to do it!" I yell, angry he was so sure about things when he had no idea what it was like.

"Well it's a bit late to be saying 'rewind' now Carla!" He raises his voice which I am surprised at. "Loads of women do this. Most women in fact, do this. Actually, _most_ women do it more than once so it can't be that unbearable."

"Oh ok, then let's swap places shall we?" I snap. "You can be the one who gets pregnant. You can watch your body change and your appetite go all over the place. You can be the one who can't sleep at night. You can be the one who throws up every morning. The one who is constantly haunted by memories of their childhood. How about you go through constant aching, stretch marks, dizziness, being hungry all the time only to bring it all back up again? This is so flaming hard Nick and you'll never understand! You never will. You're just the one who hands out the sperm, waits nine months and then gets to take the baby to the park."

"I have gone out of my way to look after you!" Nick shouts. "I know how hard this is for you! I know that. Which is why I'm trying to make it as easy as possible. I'm trying to be that man you never had, because they always screw you over. You've pushed me away more than enough times but I haven't given up on you. Not once. And you can yell and you can be as horrible as you like to me. But I'm not going anywhere, because I love you and I'm sorry but that's not going to change."

I burst into tears suddenly, leaning up against the wall. Our breathing is both ragged, hearts racing, but I can't look at him. I stare at the floor. The cold tiles beneath my feet unwelcoming to me.

I feel like 'sorry' is an empty word so I can't urge myself to say it. It didn't mean anything anymore. My need for his arms around me was overpowering. I wanted to feel his closeness, his safety.

"Come here." He finally whispers, approaching me slowly. I reach my arms out to him and he pulls me into an embrace. His arms tighten around me and when I punch his chest hard he doesn't flinch. I just sob into his shirt, staining it with more of my tears, so angry at myself and not at all at him. But he just continues to hold me and he doesn't stop until I am ready. I was a horrible horrible girlfriend. I caused him so much grief. He could have had it so much easier but he was still here. Why? Because he loved me and I loved him.


	16. Chapter 16

Bad didn't even begin to cover how I was feeling. I had been a total cow last night, when Nick was only trying to help and reassure me, as he had done countless times before. I wrap my dressing gown around myself before leaving the bedroom.

My eyes fixate on my boyfriend, who is lying on the sofa where he had slept last night. We had decided we needed some space for the night and he was planning on going back to Sarah's but they weren't in. I patter over to the sofa, leaning on the arm and watch him as he sleeps. I can tell he's had a restless night. I had slept on that sofa many times and it wasn't comfortable to sleep on the leather material. His hair was ruffled and the blanket that attempted to cover him was askew. This made me feel even worse.

His eyes flutter open and he adjusts to his surroundings, rubbing his eyes before focusing on me. I try to move my lips to say something to him but they seem to be sealed shut. We hadn't had an argument in ages, I wasn't used to it.

"Hey..." He decides to speak first, his voice was weak, I'm sure mine would be too. "How are you feeling?"

I just shrug at this, still not being able to produce the words I would really like to say to him.

"...Why do you love me?" I suddenly ask and I can almost see his heart drop in his chest. I was doing it yet again, I was asking questions, I was doubting him. He was fed up of it, but he answered all the same.

"You want the truth Carla?" He says sharply. "When I was choosing between you and Erica, I made a mental list that was longer than the list of people Leanne has slept with, about reasons I shouldn't be with you. There were tonnes, seriously." He pauses to see whether he was hurting me but I stare at him intently. "But you know what Carla none of them matter to me. Because they are nothing in comparison to the things that I love about you. You're strong, you're passionate, you're funny, you're beautiful inside and out. That day we were sat talking about the miscarriage? I realised how much you wanted to be a mother and I established how much I wanted to be a father to your baby. I didn't want anything more. I don't care how much baggage you have and you know what I have begun to understand? That you'll always doubt me. That kills me. Because it shows that so many people have broken your heart that it can never be fixed again... I don't care how hard I have to try to even piece part of it back together. But I will." I was sick of crying, I was tired of constantly letting him down, so I fight the tears back with everything I've got. "...This is all too much for so early in the morning so go and get ready for work."

"I don't want to get ready for work." I finally manage to tell him, confidently. "I want you to understand how much I love you."

He lets out a long sigh, reaching out his hand for mine. There's a relative amount of distance and we have to stretch but our hands hang in midair, swaying slightly, but connected.

"I'm going to say this one more time and this time I mean it." I give up with fighting back the tears. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are." He shakes his head

"No. I am." I stare straight at him, his eyes full of concern. "I'm sorry and I love you. You know I've only ever said those three words to three people and meant it? Well you're the third. And the last."

"I believe you." He says, sincerely and I am relieved to hear the words come out of his mouth.

"Good." I brush a tear off my cheek and pull myself together. "Now can we stop standing this far apart because it's killing me."

I am about to go and sit next to him but instead he stands up, places one hand behind my knees and another on my back and lifts me up, setting himself down on the sofa with me on his lap. He pulls the blanket that was once barely covering him over the both of us and I pull my t-shirt up to show my tummy, which he places a hand on gently.

"See I might look all tough and strong." I whisper. "But really all I want is cuddles and security."

"I know." He laughs, kissing me on the tip of my nose which makes me giggle.

 **11:56am**

"No sad films, no scary films and no films that make me feel sick." I order, as Nick scrolls through the movie channels, one arm around me. We had barely moved from our previous position except for the fact that he'd had to go out to get chocolate and popcorn, which was now sitting in bowls on my lap as I munched on it.

"That narrows it down." He jokes. "We're gonna end up watching some Disney movie."

"Uh... No." I shake my head at him. "They always end badly."

"No they don't..." Nick frowns.

"Yeah cause Snow White gets poisoned." I point out.

"And then gets woken up." He inserts.

"Yeah by a man who probably goes and cheats on her." I insist.

"Ok, it's called 'Snow White'." He reminds me. "Not 'Carla Connor'."

"Haha, you're hilarious." I elbow him. "Sleeping beauty falls asleep."

"Clue is in the name." He takes a piece of popcorn out of the bowl and pops it into his mouth.

"In the lion king, his dad dies." I persist.

"So did mine, I turned out ok." He argues.

"That could be contemplated." I grin. "In Monsters Inc.-"

"Ok, ok, I get the picture." He laughs. "How do you know so much about them anyway?"

"I loved them as a child." I tell him.

"You didn't even have a TV." He frowns.

"No but I used to have this best friend called Ella, back when I was a kid." I explain. "She used to be able to sneak us in to watch all the matinee replays at the cinema because her brother worked there. So we ended up watching them countless times."

"You never mentioned her before." He frowns, running his fingers up and down my spine. "I thought Michelle was your best friend."

"Well she was..." I trail off. "But she never really understood how I felt... Well that side of things anyway. Ella was someone I could actually relate to. Her family was a mess, she constantly felt like an outcast because of it. She never really felt like she belonged..." I pause. "I guess that's why we were so similar. We got each other through tough times and I mean... Really tough times. To the extent where we didn't think life was worth living anymore. But we told each other we would make it. Said that if we kept fighting we would eventually make it out and be set free."

"And you were?" Nick asks.

"We were." I smile at him. "We both were and now I couldn't be happier."

We sit there in silence for a while as he continues to flick through channels. The only noise was the tick of the clock and the sound of my teeth crunching on popcorn.

"...About those classes you were telling me about." I finally bring up and he nods. "Why don't we book one?"

"...Are you sure?" He asks me.

"Mmm." I hum, looking at him for reassurance. "You don't know how much time I spent thinking last night."

"No wonder you're tired." He kisses me on the forehead.

"You were right and I need to start facing facts." I bite my lip. "...But you know, you better be prepared for what's gonna happen in that delivery room because I'm gonna hate you. I mean, really hate you. I'll be screaming and crying and probably breaking your hand by squeezing it too hard..."

"I don't care." He chuckles, placing kisses into my hair.

"Hmm..." I tilt my head to the side so my eyes meet his. "But then I'll love you again."

"Well I should hope so!" He exclaims. "Once you hold our baby for the first time you'll understand."

"Oh yeah, midwife now are we?" I poke him on the cheek.

"Ok, if you feel any different on the day then you tell me." He smiles and I sigh before resting my head back in his chest.

 **4:24pm**

"Well we have masses of spaghetti hoops." He searches the cupboards. "You buy them and don't eat them."

"Well heat some of them up then." I tell him.

"Yes sir." He rolls his eyes and I laugh as he grabs the tin opener. I pull myself up off the sofa to go and help him before stopping in my tracks.

"Oh my God." I suddenly gasp and he spins around, alert at my outburst.

"What?" He panics, seeing my shocked expression. I move my hand over my tummy, my mouth wide. My hand is shaking so much that I can't determine whether it's the baby or me that's moving more than the other. But I was certain of it, the baby was moving inside me. "Carla?"

"Come here!" I exclaim and he approaches me warily. I take his hand and place it on my stomach, watching his face immediately light up.

"Oh..." Is all he can say, completely surprised. It was the most amazing feeling ever. It was alive, inside of me. I must actually be doing a good job because it was communicating with me. It was happy and healthy and that was all I could ever wish for.

"Nick..." I throw my other hand over my mouth to try and stop me from practically screaming ecstatically.

"That's our baby." He whispers, looking into my eyes that were glistening with tears.

"They won't stop moving!" I laugh, tears sliding down my cheeks. "This is crazy. That is happening inside me right?"

"...I don't believe it." His mouth is practically hanging open, completely bewildered by what was going on. This was something we had both waited for forever. Something we never got to experience last time. This was proof that we were going to be good parents to this child. That we were doing everything possible to make it happy.

"We're gonna be parents." I gasp, the words not even hurting when they come out of my mouth. They didn't even scare me. They just made me want to cry with happiness.

"We're gonna be parents." He whispers and then wraps me in a massive hug, our baby kicking excitedly between us.


	17. Chapter 17

**Valentine's Day:**

"Ah, she's awake!" I exclaim as the door swings open to the Bistro. Carla had been fast asleep earlier and as she hadn't been sleeping well lately I thought I would leave her and get off to work.

"Aidan practically killed me." She informs me, but still has a massive smile on her face. "But thank you for letting me sleep."

She leans up against the counter, resting her palms flat on it. She looked beautiful, she only had minimal make-up on today and she was glowing with happiness.

"...Happy Valentine's Day." I remind her and she looks shocked all of a sudden.

"Oh yeah..." She remembers, leaning across the counter to finally kiss me.

"Don't put the customers off their food." Andy points at us as he walks past, carrying a tray of drinks.

"Your present is at the flat." She confesses, looking into my eyes.

"I bet it is!" I laugh and she slaps me lightly before I hand her the gift from my pocket, along with a card that was resting behind some bottles on the sideboard. "Here you go."

"Thank you." She smiles, opening it to find the charm bracelet I had bought her, which attached has several different baby charms. "Ahh..."

"I didn't know whether it was a bit much for you, you know? I know you like simple jewellery." I point out as she slips it onto her wrist.

"No, it's beautiful thank you darling." She kisses me again after fastening the clasp.

"Oh and also..." I pull a bottle from the back of the counter. "This."

"Wine?" She gives me a look, as if I was teasing her.

"It's non-alcoholic." I assure her and her mouth opens excitedly.

"Ooh!" She exclaims.

"Yeah and it'll go perfect with our meal tonight." I smile, placing it back on the side.

"Meal?" She frowns.

"Robert's cooking us dinner, just me and you." I announce proudly.

"Nick!" She virtually scolds. "It's Valentines night you can't do that! You'll lose loads of customers."

"Yeah well we're not eating it here." I tell her. "We're taking it back to the flat for a cosy night in."

"Ohh... Ok that sounds better." She smiles, opening my card and reciting the words on the front. "I don't care if you lose your figure, or get grey hairs or grow much bigger... Oh God... You don't have to worry because I'll still love you too, but at least I'll look good next to you... Nick! That's horrible!" She hits me again on the arm.

"Ow!" I laugh and she starts to laugh with me. "You hate sloppy things, I thought I'd find something funny."

"Yeah well it's not." She replies sourly, although she was still virtually laughing. "But thank you."

"Right, back to work you." I order. "Else Aidan will have it in for me for making you slack."

"I love you." She kisses me one last time.

"I love you too." I respond and she smiles, satisfied before leaving.

 **2:37pm**

"You've done a good job with these." I tell Izzy, admiring her work. "I'm sure Mr Hanlen is going to love them."

"Thank you Mrs Connor." She beams as I go back to the office.

"Have we managed to contact the head buyer at Channings?" I ask Aidan, who is sat staring at his computer.

"Uh yeah, done, dusted." He informs me. "Meeting in the book for next week."

"Excellent." I cheer and he looks up from the screen.

"You're in a good mood." He watches as I rub my tummy, which was now unavoidable to notice. I was having to wear maternity tops as my others looked like semi crop tops if I tried to pull them off. "Nick promised you some Valentines fun?"

"Behave." I glare at him. "You should be blessed that I'm not biting your head off."

"Yeah I am, don't worry." He chuckles as I feel the baby move again.

"Someone's awake." I exclaim, resting my hand on my bump and feeling the movements.

"Ey?" He frowns, confused.

"The baby." I tell him and he automatically gets up and comes over. "Have you felt it before?"

"Nope." He shakes his head, touching my stomach without asking. "Wow... That's amazing!"

"I know." I marvel, my eyes wide with excitement. "Except I think it's nocturnal, it gets a bit annoying at night when I can't sleep because it's wriggling around."

"Bet you can't wait to stop saying 'it'." He removes his hand from my tummy. "When do you find out? If you are going to find out."

"Scans booked for next week." I bite my lip. "I don't think we'll be able to keep it as a surprise though, you know what I'm like, I have to know things immediately."

"Yeah, you are one of the most impatient people I know." He scoffs and I give him a look. "What are you hoping for?"

"...I'm not saying because I don't want to get my hopes up." I purse my lips. "But as long as it's happy and healthy that's all that matters."

"What's Nick hoping for?" He persists.

"Oh Nick's an angel, he's hoping for whatever I want." I laugh.

"You're lucky to have him." He says and I nod.

"I know." I reply. "I really am."

 **5:02pm**

"Hello." Carla calls cheerily from her birthing ball as I enter the flat. She's bouncing gently up and down, one hand on her tummy, one holding a book of some sort.

"Hiya." I put my keys down on the counter alongside the bottle of non-alcoholic wine and food Robert had made us. "What's that you're reading."

"The big book of babies names." She informs me. "You know some people actually name their kids after Greek Gods?"

"Each to their own." I shrug. "Sounds like something Roy Cropper would name his child."

"It does." She mutters.

"Found anything good?" I ask as I unpack the food.

"A few things..." She smiles at me.

"If it's a boy you'll probably end up naming it after one of your ex husbands." I roll my eyes at her.

"Yeah I'm not really feeling 'little baby Tony Tilsley'." Carla shoots me a look. "I was thinking Rob but then I went off the idea because it would just get confusing; too many Rob's or Robert's live or have lived on this street... I like the name Benjamin. That's a suggestion in here."

"Yeah." I nod. "I do like that to be honest. What about girls?"

"It's hard to choose the perfect girls name." She contemplates and I knew why.

"Hayley?" I dare say it and she freezes.

"Um..." She hesitates and I turn to look at her. "Well that's what I was going to call my baby girl... Last time."

"Oh, sorry sweetheart." I sigh, going over to her.

"I just don't want to replace her, you know?" She mumbles.

"Of course." I kiss her on the forehead and she gets up off her ball to sit herself down on the sofa next to me. "You know we're gonna be indecisive for ages."

"Yeah, we'll probably keep changing its name throughout its life." She giggles.

"Do you want food?" I ask her.

"Do I want food?" She raises her eyebrows. "Did you actually just ask that?"

"Good 'cause I'm starving." I tap her tummy once before getting up, plating our dinner out before carrying it back over to her. She shifts uncomfortably before taking it off me, putting the book down on the coffee table.

"I never gave you your present." She chews the food happily before pulling herself up and going to get it from the bedroom. She emerges with a large parcel, which is wrapped in red paper. "Here." She passes it to me, sitting herself back down. I carefully unwrap it to produce a large canvas that has our latest sonogram photo printed onto it.

"Carla!" I gasp, noticing her proud expression. "That's amazing, thank you." I pull her in for a hug and kiss her on the cheek.

"Yeah well soon we'll have lots of pictures." She tells me, going back to eating her meal. "Except this time they won't be black and white."

"I love you." I kiss her and I can faintly hear her mumble it back into my lips.


	18. Chapter 18

"See, I like that one but I don't know whether it's too much detail if we get that mobile as well." I explain to Michelle. I was sat in her back room, flicking through a furniture magazine.

"No." She shakes her head. "They match, plus if you like them then."

"We've been hanging on before buying things because we need to know first..." I trail off.

"Could just do it in a neutral colour." She shrugs. "But I suppose you'll know by the end of today won't you."

"Hmm..." I give a slight smile at the thought.

"Ok, promise me something?" She grabs my hand, looking at me excitedly. "I am the third person to know."

"Well who else are we gonna tell before you?" I frown.

"Uh... Gail, David, Sarah?" She lists. "Roy, all your workers."

"Listen Chelle, if I told my workers first there wouldn't be any need to tell anyone else because it would be around the street by tea break." I tell her. "No they'll be the last to know. Except for Norris..."

"You excited?" She hypes.

"Well at least I'll be a bit more confident at this scan." I say. "This thing has been moving around like crazy so at least I know it's ok... Unless it's trying to get out."

"It'll be fine." Michelle reassures me. "And hey, whatever happens, the important thing is that it is healthy, yes?"

"Obviously." I nod.

 **2:07pm**

"Hey. Two o'clock outside the Bistro you said." I greet Carla as I enter the factory.

"Oh, what's the time?" She asks me, sorting through a rack of material.

"Almost ten past." I alert her.

"Oh right, sorry." She moves back into the office to collect her things before emerging again. "Right I'm off for this scan, so Sally I'll leave you to check this order over-"

"Yes Mrs Connor." She chirps. "Do you want me to move into the office? I can-"

"No Sal." She cuts her off. "Just check this gets out on time ok?"

"Good luck." Fiz calls over, which is followed by several other goodbyes. I smile at them before taking Carla's hand and leading her out of the factory.

 **2:45pm**

"Well you were right." The midwife studies the screen. "It's definitely moving around in there. As it's started to function early, you might feel some back pain in the third trimester, but if it gets too painful we can prescribe you some antibiotics."

"Oh great..." Carla mutters and I stroke her hair. "I've got that to look forward to."

"Warm baths and back massages." She looks at me. "That's your job for the next few months."

"Back massages?" Carla grins at me. "I can deal with that."

"Here you go." She turns the screen around to far us and I gaze in amazement. It was so much more real than the previous ultrasounds.

"Flipping heck!" Carla gasps. "How has it changed that much?"

"It does at the stage you're at." She informs her. "It's almost fully formed now it just needs to grow. So Nick you need to make sure you're feeding her up."

"I'm sure we'll have no problem on that score." She reaches up to touch my cheek.

"...Did you want to know the sex of your baby?" She asks cautiously.

"You know?" I hesitate.

"Yep!" Carla practically yells.

"Ok, there's your answer." I raise my eyebrows.

"Are you sure?" Carla looks at me.

"Yes." I nod, squeezing Carla's hand. "Tell us."

"Ok. You're having a baby girl." She informs us a wave of relief sweeps over me for Carla's sake.

"Oh my God!" She exclaims, bursting into tears. "Really? Like really?"

"Ninety eight percent certain." She smiles at us and seeing Carla so happy makes me feel elated. I knew how much she wanted a girl, she had been trying to hide it from me despite the fact that I found the pink teddy bear she had bought, in a carrier bag at the back of our wardrobe.

"I don't believe it." Tears are streaming down her face and I laugh as I wipe them away.

"Happy?" I ask her and she nods quickly.

"I wanted a girl." She tells me.

"I know you did." I kiss her multiple times on the forehead.

"Are _you_ happy?" She looks up at me.

"I am over the moon." I tap her on the nose and she giggles, squeezing my hand tighter.

 **4:27pm**

I open the door to the flat and lead her into it, she virtually hadn't let go of my hand since the scan. Except when I had to drive home and listen to her babble on about how excited she was, which I wasn't complaining about.

"Now we can start this properly." She turns to me, walking backwards towards the fridge which she pulls open and gets a chocolate yogurt out of.

"So we weren't doing it properly before?" I grin at her.

"Well yeah..." She shrugs. "But now we know... We can start thinking about names and clothes and decorating the spare room for her."

"Busy few months this is going to be."  
I warn her. "And you are going to rest and relax and chill out."

"Yes I know." She pulls a face at me, finishing her yogurt and throwing the pot in the bin.

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" I smile at her.

"You've been taking notes." She comes over and wraps her arms round my neck. "I love you."

"I love you." I kiss her and then move down to kiss her bump. "And I love you too."

"And _she_ loves you." She giggles.

"She." I repeat, kissing her one last time before going to run her a bath.


	19. Chapter 19

"Chelle?" I yell over the bar, Nick at my side. She virtually runs out of the back room, face lit up with excitement.

"Tell me, tell me!" She hypes, clapping her hands.

"Girl." I come straight out with it and her hand flies over he mouth.

"Oh my God!" She exclaims, running around the bar to hug me. "Are you happy?"

"Obviously." I grin.

"What did you do last night?" She asks, wrapping my hair round her finger.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I wink and she pulls a face.

"Just stayed in, had a look at some baby magazines." Nick nudges me. "Then she wouldn't go to sleep because she was so excited."

"I'm so happy for you two." Michelle says. "Steve!"

"What?" His voice sounds from the back room.

"It's a girl!" She yells and he appears behind the bar.

"Ah, congratulations." He comes round to shake Nick's hand. "They're a nightmare but-"

"Steve!" She slaps him lightly. "Don't tell them that."

"It's ok." Nick rests his hand on my back. "It's good to be warned."

"Anyway, we better get going." I look at Nick. "We've gotta go tell the dreaded Platt's, just wanted to let you know first."

"I'm honoured." Michelle kisses me on the cheek. "Take care of yourself."

"See you." I say before we leave. Nick links our hands as we walk down the street, the morning air was cold but refreshing. "You can tell your mother."

"She won't be happy." He warns me.

"Why?" I frown, putting a dampener on my mood.

"Because she already has two granddaughters." He reminds me. "No grandsons."

"Max?" I frown.

"Max isn't related by blood." He informs me. "Max is Kylie's son but not David's."

"...Yeah but he's still her grandson." I am quite saddened now by the fact that I had yet again let someone down.

"Yes. Yes he is, I'm sorry baby." He sighs, kissing me on the forehead. "Sorry, she'll be really happy. She will."

He knocks on the door a few times before opening it.

"Only us." He calls as we walk in. I was grateful to find that the kids were at school, however Bethany was for some reason standing eating a Kit Kat in the lounge.

"Hello!" Gail exclaims, she was playing some pop music on the radio whilst David glared at her, eating a piece of toast that was in his hand. "Everything go ok at the scan?"

"Uh, yeah." Nick tells her. "And we have some news."

"You're having twins?" David guesses.

"Oh God no." I mutter.

"We're having a girl." Nick corrects him.

"Oooh! Yay!" Gail exclaims, which relieved me slightly. "Congratulations, more girls in the family ey?"

"Lily will be pleased." David says.

"We wanted to tell you now before it gets crowded in here." Nick observes. "I'll leave it up to you to tell the rest of them."

"Mum said that I was awful as a baby." Bethany informs us and I pull a face.

"Some things don't change." David drones and she throws her wrapper at him.

"And on that note, we'll be off." He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the house. "Right, you Underworld, me Bistro, I'll meet you back here in an hour."

"Oh ok." I say, surprised as he kisses me quickly on the lips before walking off. I head up the steps to the factory, pulling the door open as it creaks to symbolise my arrival. "Guess who's having a girl?" I greet them all and they jump up at my appearance, running to hug me.

"I knew it would be!" Sean practically knocks me over and I have to steady myself.

"You said it would be a boy!" Sinead retorts.

"Yes but my internal instincts were saying it was a girl." He taps my tummy.

"That's the future boss of this place in there." Beth points out.

"Ha, not for a long time yet." I laugh.

"What is all the racket in here?" Aidan storms out of the office followed by his dad and sister. "I told you to get back to-"

"Nice to see you too." I cut him off when he finally notices me in the middle of the crowd of people. "Oh and it's a girl by the way."

"Carla!" Johnny greets, coming over to hug me. "That's great, congratulations. Aidan, say congratulations."

"Congrats." He shakes my hand, not being one for affection. "No seriously, I'm happy for you. Is it what you wanted?"

"Yep." I nod, excitedly, hugging Kate as she comes up to embrace me. "Couldn't be happier."

"Well you look it." Johnny beams. "And you deserve it too."

 **6:33pm**

"You're not normally sick in the evenings." Nick says as I leave the bathroom, leaning up against the doorframe and closing my eyes.

"No I know." I sigh. "I think it's because I ate tuna earlier on."

"Tuna." Nick repeats. "Right that's going on the list of things not to give you."

"Which one is longer? The list of things I shouldn't eat or things I should?" I rest my hand on my tummy, leaning my head back on the wall.

"Are you ok?" He asks, concerned.

"Mmm..." I mumble, closing my eyes again. "Just nauseous."

"Do you need to be sick again?" He questions.

"I don't know..." I trail off before running back into the bathroom and throwing my guts up into the toilet bowl. It was a vile tasting substance and I gag as it reappears from inside me. I don't notice that Nick is next to me until he places a hand on my back and rubs it gently. "Ew..." Is all I can say before I throw another lot up. It was hurting my chest as I try and gasp for air.

"It's ok." He reassures me, dropping everything to make sure I was alright. I collapse so that I am kneeling down, my head in my arms, resting on the toilet seat. I feel rough. My head is pounding and my stomach is churning. The only thing stopping me from going insane right now was the feeling of Nick's hand on my back, moving in circular motions which was actually really helping.

I don't know how long I sit there but he stays, for what feels like forever, just looking after me. I don't know what I had done to deserve him, but I was extremely grateful.

"I feel like death." I finally groan. "I will never eat tuna again."

"I don't think it's just the tuna sweetheart." He laughs slightly, brushing my hair out of my face.

"Mmm..." I mumble, now I wanted him to hold me and not stop. So I move from my position and try to stand, keeping one hand on the toilet seat and one on my stomach. He helps me up and then I fall into his arms, which he wraps around me securely.

"Carla, can I flush the toilet." He says eventually and I move away as he pulls the chain. "Feel any better now?"

"...Bit dizzy." I massage my forehead. "Can I go lie down."

"Course." He smiles, following me out of the bathroom. "Shall I bring you a hot water bottle?"

"If I could bottle you I'd make a fortune." I tell him, weakly and he chuckles. "...Oh, darling... I'm sorry about dinner."

"Don't worry about that." Nick says as he goes back to the kitchen. He had been in the process of making us pasta for tea which I had requested especially. "Go get comfy."

"Thank you." I sigh, turning towards the bedroom. I flop down on the pillows immediately. Luckily I had already removed my make-up and put one of Nick's shirts on so I didn't have to bother with that. I lie on my side, as I had been directed, staring at the canvas of our sonogram photo on the wall.

"Here you go." He enters, laying it down next to my tummy and climbing on top of the covers next to me. "Want a cuddle?"

I didn't have to be asked twice, I shift myself over to him and rest my head in his chest.

"Go to sleep." I whine slightly as I feel the baby start to kick again, although at least I knew she was ok. "I think she's gloating now."

"Shush you, mummy's trying to rest." He rubs my tummy.

"Ooh, do you want to see something cool?" I suddenly perk up a bit, grabbing the remote control from the side table.

"Don't I always?" He rolls his eyes as I lean into him again, lying on my back and resting the remote on my tummy. It begins to vibrate as the baby moves, jumping ever so slightly.

"Tried this out the other day." I giggle.

"You must get bored." He sighs as I take the remote off and put it back. "But it's cute."

"You know..." I say as he kisses my tummy. "You could always bring the food in here."

"Is that a good idea?" He asks me. "You've just been sick multiple times."

"Yeah and now I'm living on an empty stomach..." I hesitate. "Well... Not exactly _empty_."

"I was gonna say." He laughs. "Ok. I'll go heat it up."


	20. Chapter 20

"This is horrible." I hear Carla yell from the living room. "Nick this is terrifying."

"What?" I ask, sticking my head out of the bedroom and seeing her with her head in her hands on her birthing ball.

"This!" She points to the TV where she's watching some birthing programme. "Oh God..."

"Well at least you are educating yourself." I tell her, putting the last of the ironing away before going to join her.

"Ok no." She grimaces, turning to me. "This woman has been in labour for thirty six hours. Thirty six hours. If I'm in labour for thirty six hours..."

"Some women are in labour for forty eight." I inform her.

"Not helping Nicholas!" She whines, covering her eyes with her hands. I turn my focus to the TV where a woman was practically screaming the hospital down. "I can't watch this." She removes herself from her ball and walks around in circles a few times before slumping on the sofa. Squeezing her eyes shut like a toddler.

"Ok, ok." I sigh and I sit down next to her, pulling her in close.

"No, I can't do that." She moans, burying her head into my chest. I wasn't going to deny the fact that it looked horrific, but I keep my eyes glued to the telly all the same, in an attempt to take notes. There were two midwives and her partner in the room, the woman's legs were being held back by both the man and the other midwife.

"Carla you should probably watch this." I wince, massaging her scalp. "It's actually very useful."

"It's actually very _frightening_." She mumbles into me.

"Ohh..." I mutter as the birth proceeds. "What show is this?"

"I don't know I just put one of the birth channels on." She raises her voice. "Tell me when it's done."

"Carla..." I nudge her as the baby begins to cry. "Carla, look."

She lifts her head to the TV screen where the baby is being held by its mother for the first time. There is a huge smile on her face as she rocks it back and forth.

"See?" I point to the screen. "See how amazing it is? She's holding her baby for the first time. It's worth it sweetheart."

"...They look so happy." She murmurs, in a childish voice. "She was screaming a minute ago."

"Yeah but none of that matters now does it?" I tell her. "They've just brought their baby into the world. We will soon too."

"Ok." She nods, confidently.

"Ok?" I repeat.

"We need to start doing some planning. I mean we have this... Childbirth class thingy tonight but we need to do research." She decides. "Otherwise it's never going to get done."

 **3:27pm**

"Signs that labour has begun." I skim read my phone as she's nestled into me. "The main one is waters breaking."

"That sounds disgusting." She wrinkles her nose up.

"Knowing you it'll happen in the middle of the factory and it'll look like you've wet yourself." I chuckle.

"No!" She whines, slapping me on the arm. "Don't say that."

"A 'show'." I continue to read. "Is a sticky jelly-like mucus that passes out of the-"

"Ew!" She covers her ears.

"Carla! Grow up!" I raise my voice exasperatedly, removing her hands from her ears. "You need to start taking this seriously... Ok, at the beginning of labour, it is recommended that you stay at home until you are in established labour; this is when you are three centimetres dilated. Until this occurs, you should spend time with your birthing partner... That's me, I assume. Finding comfortable positions and waiting as the cervix softens. During this period you should eat and drink to keep your strength up, take a hot bath or shower, or receive massages on your shoulders or back by your birth partner."

"So that's just you and me, here?" She confirms.

"Yep, whilst you're shouting the place down." I say. "Lucky old me ey?"

"Don't you dare." She warns. "You wanna swap places then fine."

"Are we seriously gonna do this again?" I ask and she exhales loudly, as if relieving her stress.

"No." She sighs.

"...You know what I think that's enough for today." I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Are you mad at me?" She asks.

"No." I rest my head on top of hers and trace my fingers along her tummy. "I just don't want to cram our heads with too much in one day."

"You're doing a much better job at it than me." She admits.

"I'm not." I laugh. "I'm just more sensible about it than you."

"Mmm..." She mumbles, nodding her head.

"Listen Carla..." I whisper. "This class this afternoon. Can you try and take it seriously? Because it's important."

"I'll try." She shrugs and I roll my eyes at her.

 **7:00pm**

"Go in then." I tap her on the back and she enters the room nervously.

"Hi!" A plump woman greets us. "I'm Heather, you must be Mrs Connor."

"Uh... Yeah." Carla nods.

"Lovely to meet you, take a seat on the floor." She beams at us.

"The floor?" Carla mutters under her breath.

"Carla, let's take a seat." I direct her away, moving to a spot on the carpet.

"Yeah I would if there were any." She says, pulling a face as she sits down on the floor.

"Behave." I point a finger at her as if she was the child in this situation.

"Hi! My name is Abbie Ash!" A blonde woman suddenly exclaims, tapping Carla on the back and her eyes widen.

"Oh... Hello." Carla forces a smile and I have to fight back laughter.

"I haven't seen you at these classes before!" She continues, taking a seat next to us and going to hug Carla. I know she hates affection off people she didn't trust, so she is stiff as she embraces her.

"That'd be because I haven't been before." She replies, pulling away. She turns back to me in an attempt to get the over-excited and slightly creepy woman off her back.

"So when are you due?" She continues to question.

"Help me." Carla says through gritted teeth.

"She's due in May." I inform her, reaching out to shake her hand. "I'm Nick, nice to meet you."

"You're lucky to have a partner." She goes back to pestering Carla, her eyes wide. "My husband is in prison."

"Yeah..." Carla nods, rigidly. "I know the feeling."

"Why's he inside?" I make friendly conversation and Carla glares at me.

"Don't encourage her." She hisses and I bat her away.

"Oh, he stole my pen." She nods and then bursts out laughing. "Only joking! He murdered someone."

"Funny..." Carla mutters. "Was the victim the man you were having an affair with?"

"...No." She frowns, as if Carla was the weird one. "You think I could have an affair? No! People like that are sick!"

"Ehem..." Carla and I cough awkwardly.

"Ok! Welcome to Lamaze class!" Heather claps her hands cheerily, grabbing our attention. "Today we will be working on some breathing techniques."

"Nick..." Carla elbows him. "Can we go-"

"You said you'd give it a try." I whisper.

"Fine." She responds sourly.

"I love breathing exercises." Abbie nudges Carla and she moves ever so slightly closer to me.

"You won't be breathing at all in a minute." Carla curses and I slap her lightly on the arm.

"Shut up!" I scold her, although I was secretly finding it absolutely hilarious.

"Ok, so in the early stages of labour, your birthing partner will be guiding you through your breathing." Heather informs us. "That'll most likely be the father of the baby."

"Not for me!" Abbie continues.

"Mmm." Carla looks as if she's about to explode.

"Alright so if we start with the basics." Heather grins. "We'll all breathe in for seven and out for fourteen. Ok with me, so breathe in for two, three, four, five, six, seven... And out for one-"

"Weeee." The blonde freaky woman next to us starts to squeal as she exhales. Carla turns her head and looks at me, completely confused, trying to hold back laughter, as was I. I could tell now this was going to be an eventful class.


	21. Chapter 21

"I'm off to this meeting in Bristol for the weekend." Nick tells me, looping his tie under his collar.

"I've sorted Michelle." I respond. "She's coming to stay for a few days."

"Are you sure that's ok with her?" He asks.

"Yeah, she needs to get away from Steve for a bit anyway." I shrug. "They've been having a few arguments over Amy... Plus I don't really want to be alone."

"I'm sorry sweetheart." He sighs. "I wouldn't go if it wasn't important."

"No, no." I brush him off. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. You've been an angel, seriously. Just don't go picking up any strange women while you're there."

"As if." He scoffs. "I love you, be good."

"Love you too." He kisses me on the lips before leaving.

 **10:09am**

I am attempting to hoover the living room when the intercom rings out and I go to answer it.

"It's me." I hear Michelle's voice and buzz her up. I go back to finishing the hoovering before she appears in the doorway.

"Hey!" She exclaims. "You shouldn't be doing that."

"Well it's normally Nick's duty but since he's not here." I shrug.

"You should be resting." She sighs as I switch the hoover off.

"Chelle, I'm not an invalid." I say, shifting the machine to the corner of the room.

"No but you are pregnant." She reminds me. "And all this stress isn't-"

"Look ok, I didn't invite you over for a lecture." I raise my voice. "I just want a few hours of not talking about the baby or the pregnancy or giving birth to... What feels like a watermelon."

"...Ok." She nods. "Ok, we'll talk about something else."

"Brew?" I ask after a pause and she nods, going to dump her stuff in my bedroom.

 **12:22pm**

"Ham or cheese on your butty?" Michelle calls from the kitchen.

"...Both." I pause before answering. "And can you stick a pickle in there too."

"Ugh..." She pulls a face, getting one out of the jar. "I remember these when I was pregnant. I was-"

"Michelle!" I cut her off, she was doing it again.

"Sorry." She rolls her eyes, placing my plate down in front of me. "I won't mention the 'P' word again."

"So..." I try and find some inspiration for conversation. "What's going on with you and Steve then?"

"Oh we're alright..." She mutters. "He just wants to spend some time with Amy."

"And you can't be there why?" I frown.

"Oh sorry, want me to leave already do you?" She exclaims. "No, I just thought I'd give them some space. You know? Parent and daughter bonding time?"

"No... I don't know." I remind her. "Yet."

"It can get very crowded over there sometimes." She continues. "What, with Steve, me, Liz, Amy, Aidan and then the occasional random guy turning up in Liz's bed."

"I thought you were friends." I say.

"We are." She tells me. "That's why I can call her a tart and she can call me a bossy cow."

"Well I wouldn't disagree with her." I grin.

"Oh, Ryan sends his best wishes by the way." Michelle remembers.

"Ah, how's he doing?" I brighten up at the sound of my nephews name.

"He's alright yeah, having a great time in Ibiza." She has a slightly distant look in her eye. "I was worried about letting him go at first but when I see how happy he is... Plus I have Amy so."

"Well you're a better mother to her than Tracy will ever be." I drone.

"Ah no, that's not fair." She shakes her head. "Tracy may be many things but she always puts her daughter first."

"...What even when she went inside?" I remind her. "For murder."

"...Anyway, Ryan said that your wedding could be an excuse for coming up to visit again." She diverts the subject. "I said, 'well you didn't make that effort when I got married' and he said 'yeah but auntie Carla's weddings are always dead posh'."

"Charming." I raise my eyebrows. "...He makes out it's some sort of hobby I have."

"Well you are like the female version of Henry VIII." She points out.

"Uh, sorry." I argue. "How many times has your husband been married again?"

"Point made." She nods slowly. "Anyway, I went on to say that I didn't know when your wedding was going to be and that you hadn't set a date yet. So he said he might pop up when the baby is born."

"Yeah we've kind of delayed the wedding until after the birth." I explain. "I want to look my best on our wedding day."

"Maybe it'll be one of those engagements where you never get married; there's never a wedding at the end of it." She ponders. "Like your engagement to Frank."

"Well no..." I trail off. "Because instead of a wedding there was a rape at the end of it."

"...Sorry." She bites her lip.

"It's ok." I smile at her.

 **5:59pm**

"Any other time I would offer you the bed but I just don't want to roll off the sofa and onto the floor." I call from the bedroom. "Plus Nick would have your head off if anything happened."

"Carla! It's fine honestly." She yells from the living room. "I'll share or I'll sleep on the sofa."

"See usually we have the spare room but the beds been moved out of there now." I rest my hand on the door frame so I can make eye contact with her. "Preparing for decorating and all that."

"Have you bought anything yet?" She asks.

"No..." I sigh. "Buying, decorating, choosing a name. It's all on the to-do list."

"Well I heard that Michelle is a beautiful name." She grins. "For a beautiful person."

"Ah, but there can only be one of you." I point out. "You are one of a kind."

"My brothers got kids named after them." She sounds disappointed.

"Well they did kind of have to die in a car accident first." I say, hastily, sitting down on the sofa next to her. "Sorry... What a mess ey? Your brothers, my lovers. Your husband dead, my brother jailed... I'm almost burned alive... Twice, your son swapped at birth. What did we do to deserve that?"

"Still standing though aren't we?" She studies me, reaching for my hand.

"Well... Sitting but yeah." I force a laugh. "Thank you Chelle."

"For what?" She frowns.

"For being there." I conclude. "You're the only one that's been there for me from the start. You're the only one that... Knows about me."

"Yeah and I also know..." She looks deep into my eyes. "That now you're going to be happy. With Nick and your baby girl and your home and your factory... And I'm happy with my husband and my son and my pub and my stepdaughter."

"So we're both going to be ok then." I smile and she nods.


	22. Chapter 22

I try to be as silent as possible when I enter the flat, hold all in one hand, bunch of flowers in the other. I come to face Carla and Michelle sat on the sofa, looking through a photo album. Placing the bag down I creep up behind my girlfriend and throw my hands over her eyes.

"Surprise!" I announce which makes her jump slightly.

"Oh my God!" She squeals. "Don't do that Nick, seriously."

"Glad to see you're still in one piece." I hand her the flowers. "I got you these."

"Aww." Michelle smiles. "If only Steve would do things like that."

"Mmm." Carla mumbles as she kisses me. "They're beautiful thank you."

"How was your trip?" Michelle asks politely.

"Alright yeah." I nod. "I mean, I've sorted some new suppliers so that's good but missed it being here. Have you two had a good few days?"

"Yeah." Michelle replies. "Fairly quiet but it's been good to have a girly catch up hasn't it?"

"Yep." Carla nods, looking adorable with no make-up and her dressing gown hung round her. "We've been talking about the positives and negatives of men."

"Oh well I'm glad I wasn't here then." I reach out to place my hand on her bump. "Hello to you too."

"Right well I'll get out of your hair." Michelle rises, collecting her stuff.

"Don't feel pushed out." I fret. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"No, no, honestly I better get back to Steve anyway." She brushes me off. "Besides, too long in this one's company can really rub you up the wrong way. Don't know how you live with it."

"Oh, cheers." Carla raises her eyebrows and Michelle grins.

"Right, see you sweetheart." She kisses her on the cheek as she begins to rise from the sofa. "No no, don't you get up." She orders. "You're comfortable."

"Hmm, I wish." Carla rolls her eyes. "Thanks for staying."

"My pleasure." She waves us off before closing the door behind herself.

"I've missed you." Carla smiles up at me once she was gone and I sigh contently.

"Shall I put these in water?" I ask, taking the flowers from her.

"There's a vase in the bottom cupboard." She tells me.

"I know." I pull the cupboard door open. I begin filling the vase with water and dip the stems into the glass container before placing them in the centre of the kitchen surface.

"...Nick?" Her voice was quiet and timid.

"Yeah." I turn back to her.

"Can we talk?" She asks after a pause. Oh God. Those words were never good.

"Course." I smile, going over to join her and sitting in the arm chair in case distance was needed for this conversation.

"...I've been thinking." She stares at the floor, wringing her hands. "Whilst you've been away I mean. I need to start taking this seriously. It just hasn't really seemed real for me... I think I've just been scared and in denial of the whole thing." She coughs nervously. "...I never really wanted children. I just felt like maybe you wanted this baby more than me and I felt selfish. But now, I've thought about it and I know I need to start being sensible."

"...So you didn't want this baby?" I ask, slightly hurt.

"No! No I do!" She exclaims. "I'm slowly getting used to the idea... It's just very overwhelming and I've been being silly about the whole thing because it has been such a shock to me... I'm sorry, I really am. I love her. Nick, I do, I promise. I just, needed to realise that this isn't a game anymore."

She looks so confused and so scared. The seriousness in her eyes explained everything. I pause before getting up and moving over to the sofa next to her.

"Come here." I kiss her gently and she sighs at the reunion of intimacy. I break off and lean my forehead against hers, stroking her hair as it falls softly between my fingers. "I'm sorry, for rushing you and for smothering you. I've treated you like a child."

"I've _acted_ like a child." She whispers. "But that's because I've been so bewildered. I have no clue, I just, I've never done this before... Got this far. I keep thinking that she could disappear at any second. I haven't wanted to think about it too much because I didn't want to get attached like last time."

"Carla." I murmur and for some strange reason I begin to cry, because she was right, all of this was shock, it was so different and new and overwhelming.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." She wipes the tears off my cheek, an emotional smile on her face.

"Now who's being the child ey?" I ask her and she gulps, moving to kiss me on the forehead.

"You're just being a father." She sighs and I meet her eyes again, kissing her, hoping that we would never stop.

 **3:16pm**

"The baby's heart rate will be monitored every fifteen minutes between contractions to ensure labour is going as planned." I read from the book, my arm around her as she snuggled into my side. "This enables the midwife to see if there are any complications with your baby."

"So that can be attached to my wrist?" She clarifies.

"Yeah, so you can move around." I nod. "We'll make sure you have a private room."

"Oh good..." She sighs. "I'm really not feeling giving birth in front of anyone else. Except you, and the midwife obviously."

"Is that everyone you want with you?" I ask her. "Sure you don't want Michelle?"

"She can pop in from time to time but no." She shakes her head. "I just want you."

"Ok." I kiss her on the forehead. "'Trying different positions during labour'; this is where that ball will come in handy, we can take that with us."

"And lots of pillows." She adds. "They'll probably have them there but to be on the safe side. Chelle told me they saved her life during labour."

"Right, remind us to buy a ton of pillows then." I say. "Some women find leaning on things such as shelves, tables or birthing partners helps them, as remaining upright can help move the baby downwards."

"So how do I know which of these to do?" She asks.

"Well we can try them all." I tell her. "Just do as your body tells you. It's a natural thing remember."

"What will they do if the baby isn't ok?" She questions.

"Well they'll be used to it won't they." I reassure her. "There'll be loads of techniques they know."

"Nick..." She virtually whispers. "Promise me something?"

"What?" I ask cautiously.

"If it comes to it..." She hesitates. "You save the baby over me."

"Carla." I turn in shock. "Don't say that, don't you dare say that."

"No because it is a serious situation Nick." Her breathing is speeding up in panic. "This baby is more important."

"It won't happen." I argue. "That's something I _can_ promise you."

"But if it does. Nick, please. Please." She begs. "I need to know she's safe. She has a whole life to fulfil, it's more important than mine... Promise me... Darling please, tell me that if it came down to it you would save her."

"Ok." The word falls out of my mouth and she finally looks relieved. "But I am _not_ going to let anything happen to either of you. Alright?" I insist and she nods as I place a hand on her arm. "Come here." I sigh, pulling her in and feeling her heart beat banging in her chest. It frightened me for her to say these things, to think she doubted it that much. But I wasn't going to let anything hurt her. Ever.


	23. Chapter 23

"What are you doing up?" I sigh, leaving the bedroom. Carla was sat on the sofa, studying the laptop. "...You're not gambling."

"No!" She glares at me. "I couldn't sleep, baby was kicking, so I'm doing research."

"Research?" I repeat.

"We need to go shopping." She tells me and I go to sit next to her. She was making a check list of things we needed whilst searching on the Internet. "There's so much we need to buy."

"You don't have to push yourself sweetheart." I sigh, putting my arm around her.

"I'm not." She shakes her head. "We need to decorate the nursery and in order to do that we need to go shopping."

"When do you want to go?" I ask, breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Today?" She ponders. "Can you get time off work?"

"For this yes." I whisper. "...I love you."

 **12:34pm**

"What's next on the list." I ask her as she places a couple of bottles into the trolley.

"Paint." She checks the piece of paper. "Over here I think."

"What's the colour scheme?" I question, scouring the shelves.

"I don't want pink." She pulls a face. "Pink is so mainstream... No, neutral colours."

"Well we need a basic white or cream for two of the walls." I suggest.

"How do you know so much about colour schemes?" She frowns.

"I came up with the design for the Bistro thank you." I laugh.

"Can you get that?" She points to a can of paint. I move past her to pick it up and put it in the trolley. It was heavy so I was glad she had asked me to carry it. "Thank you."

"Choose another colour." I tell her. "Yellow or purple or green or-"

"Beige." She nods.

"Beige?" I repeat. "That's not really a very childish colour."

"Yeah but then we can have all white wicker furniture." Her eyes brighten. "Plus it's still our flat. I'm not transforming it into some sort of rainbow playground. No, it needs to be classy."

"Ok, beige it is." I shrug, lugging another can off the shelf.

"You can make decisions too you know." Carla nudges me as we walk up the aisle.

"Oh no, I wouldn't dare." I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Uh, we need a baby bath." She scans the list.

"Is there anything else we need in decor whilst we're here?" I prompt her. "I thought maybe we should do the main furniture shopping another time, or order online."

"Suppose we could get some things to hang on the wall." She says before turning to me excitedly. "Oh, that reminds me. I thought maybe we could get another canvas made like the one I gave you, you know? With the sonogram photo on and hang it on the wall."

"Ahh." I smile. "Maybe with the latest photo on this time then we have two different ones."

"You are good at this." She winks, pointing at me.

 **2:49pm**

"You head up." I pull the car door open. "I'll bring these."

I begin unloading the boot as Tracy walks past. I see Carla immediately shift defensively, arms folded over her bump.

"Ooh." She plasters on her most fake smile. "Having a car boot sale? Don't know whether you'll get much for that. Hey, maybe you can put it in my shop."

"This cost two hundred quid thanks." Carla informs her. "Bit pricey for your shop Tracy."

"Carla go upstairs." I sigh, not wanting her to get caught in the middle of an argument.

"We've started selling exercise equipment you know?" Tracy continues in her pretend friendly voice. "You should pop in and buy some, looks like you could need it."

"Oh wind your neck in will you?" Carla raises her voice.

"Upstairs, now." I leave the stuff and place my hands on her shoulders, directing her towards the door.

"Lay off the burgers!" Tracy yells and Carla turns to say something back before I am leading her up the stairs.

"Right, stay there." I order. "Make us a brew will you."

I head back down to shift the stuff, luckily Tracy had gone to wherever she was spreading joy next. Why I ever slept with her I didn't know. Somehow I was drawn to the women with a lot of baggage...

 **4:13pm**

"Right that's all unpacked in there so we can sort it out another day." I leave the spare room to see Carla sat in the sofa, holding a teddy bear close to her chest, one hand stroking her tummy. "Carla, don't let what Tracy said get to you."

"I'm not." She objects. "I was just thinking... About how much I've changed, sat here with a teddy bear."

"You bought that before we found out about the gender." I sigh.

"I know." She admits, although she looks curious as to how I knew. "...But I just thought if it was a boy then what's stopping him from having a pink teddy bear?"

"That's a good point." I nod, moving to stand behind to sofa so I can massage her shoulders gently. "But we're having a girl so no explanation needed."

"Mmm..." She hums contently and I kiss her on the top of her head.

"Do you know what we should name our daughter?" I ask and she freezes slightly. "Persephone."

"Uh..." She frowns. "Why?"

"Because she's the goddess of the underworld." I grin and she rolls her eyes at me.

"I thought you were serious for a second!" She slaps me lightly. "You've been doing some research then."

"No not really." I shrug, removing my hands from her shoulders and going to sit next to her. She curls up next to me, sitting the teddy between us. "Have you?"

"Maybe." She bites her lip, which I found extremely irresistible right now. I lean over and kiss her because I just have to do it and she returns it, gently wrapping her tongue around mine before muttering something into my mouth. "What about Ella?"

"Ella?" I pull away, meeting her eyes. "That was the name of your friend you told me about."

"Yeah." She nods, pausing. "The name also means illumination... I just thought... Oh wow it sounds cheesy."

"No, go on!" I nudge her and she stares at the floor.

"Well... She's kind of like the light guiding us through this..." She trails off. "I just thought it fits that's all."

"Ok." I tell her and she frowns.

"Nick." She sighs. "You don't have to agree with everything."

"I know I don't." I laugh. "I like it. Ella Connor, it works."

"Ella Tilsley." She corrects me and I kiss her smile again.

 _ **Dedicated to Ella. Stay strong.**_


	24. Chapter 24

I wake up to an empty bed, the covers drawn forward on Nick's side. I check the clock; 10:03am. It was a Sunday... Why was Nick already up?

I pull myself out of bed, supporting my back and the sudden movement makes me feel queasy. "Ughh..." I groan, opening the bedroom door and heading to the bathroom. I lean over the toilet bowl and heave into the water below, scrunching my nose up at the smell. Morning sickness; how I loved it.

"You alright?" Nick asks from the doorway as I flush the chain.

"Mmm." I mumble, checking my face in the bathroom mirror before grabbing my toothbrush. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked peaceful." He smiles. "A lot more peaceful than now."

"Ah, I'm ok." I shrug, through a mouthful of toothpaste. "Nothing I'm not used to. You're up early for a Sunday."

"Yeah well I've been making a start, I hope you don't mind." He tells me as I spit into the sink, rinsing my toothbrush off.

"Oh on the nursery?" My eyes light up.

"Yeah." He replies, taking my hand. "Come and see." He leads me through to the spare room and my eyes come to meet an empty space that we had been clearing out over the past few days. Well, Nick more than me, as he wouldn't let me lift anything. Two of the walls were already painted and the new carpet was soft beneath my feet.

"Ah, good start." I kiss him, thankful that my breath no longer stank of vomit.

"Today is painting day." He informs me. "We've got this wall to paint in beige and then the wallpaper with the bunny rabbits needs to go up on that wall. You should probably go put something dark on first though."

"I should probably have something to eat first though." I correct him. "Where's my bacon sarnie Nicholas?"

"Oh course, breakfast sorry." He remembers, heading out of the door.

"No, no." I grab his arm. "I'll do it! I was only kidding! Plus you've worked hard this morning, I'll make you one too." I see his face debate the idea of me having to make breakfast as if it was going to be some sort of strain. "Nick I can make a bacon butty. I'm seven months pregnant, it's not gonna kill me."

"No I know." He frowns. "I just don't know whether I want to risk getting food poisoning."

"Oh shut up!" I exclaim, hitting him on the arm before pulling him in for a kiss.

 **11:15am**

"Are these paint fumes gonna be alright for the kid?" I ask, entering the spare room wearing a plain black top I had bought for slouchy days during pregnancy and leggings.

"Uh... Should be, it's solvent free." Nick checks the can. "You want me to look online?"

"No it's fine." I take a brush from him.

"Ok well let me know if anything doesn't feel right." He tells me and I dip the brush cautiously into the can a few times before realising he's staring at me.

"What?" I mumble.

"You're cute." He laughs and I scrunch my nose up. I pretended I hated it when he called me cute, but secretly it made me feel quite warm inside.

"I am not cute." I retort.

"Whatever cutie, just don't go climbing the ladders ok?" He chuckles.

"Call me that one more time and I'll paint your face." I threaten, with a smile.

"The ultimate punishment..." He grins, sarcastically as he carries the ladder over to the opposing wall.

"So like how do I do this?" I bite my lip. "Just... Paint?"

"You've painted before." He frowns.

"Well... Yeah." I mumble. "But like... Not walls. I get other people to do that for me. I just tell them what to do."

"So what have you painted?" He's laughing now.

"...I painted Rob once." I reply bluntly.

"A picture of Rob?" He clarifies.

"No." I shake my head. "Just Rob. When he was sleeping."

"Wow..." Nick's eyes widen. "Ok maybe I don't trust you with paint."

"Well I can try but I can't guarantee it'll be perfect." I pull a face, daring to touch the brush to the wall and trailing it down the surface.

"...I can always paint over it." He mutters, loud enough for me to hear.

 **12:42pm**

"I've done like a section of the wall." I say proudly and he steps down from the ladder coming over to take a look. I turn to see that he has neatly pasted up the wallpaper on his side, which puts my efforts to shame.

"That's... Nice." He nods, trying to stay optimistic about it.

"Is it really bad?" I ask.

"No, it's not bad." He observes. "Just... Different to how a lot of people paint. You have a very unique style of... Not choosing a direction and sticking to it."

"Well I'd do higher up but I can't reach so I'll just keep working along here." I indicate and he peers into the can.

"Carla!" He exclaims. "How much paint have you used? That's gonna take ages to dry!"

"...Well we've got two months." I shrug and he begins to laugh again, wrapping a lock of my hair around his finger and kissing me on the forehead.

"Lunch." He decides and I follow him out of the room. "Do you want some soup?"

"Soup?" I repeat, taking a packet of crisps out of the cupboard and opening them.

"Or we could just eat crisps." He rolls his eyes.

"Sorry." I say with my mouth full as the buzzer rings.

"Ah, that'll be Andy." He remembers. "Looks like we won't be having soup after all."

"Andy?" I frown.

"Yeah come up." He says into the intercom. "He said he'd bring something from the Bistro round, I forgot."

"Ah, well he didn't have to that." I now feel bad for chomping my way through a bag of crisps.

"Hiya." Andy greets as he enters the flat, he had two tin boxes of something that I was craving badly in his hand.

"What is that?" I interrogate, rudely.

"Chicken and leek pie." He informs me, not used to my company.

"Ooh, gimme." I take it off him. "...Thank you."

"Sorry Andy." Nick apologises as I tear open one of the boxes. "Thanks for bringing it round, I would have come to collect it."

"No it's fine." He brushes him off. "Gets me away from Robert's demands for ten minutes anyway."

"Well there'll be extra tips for you." Nick assures him and he grins before leaving.

"Sorry..." I pipe up, not bothering to pause eating whilst I speak to him. "It smelt really good."

"That's ok." He shakes his head at me. "I guess those crisps are being rejected then."

"No..." I trail off. "I'll eat them later."

 **5:43pm**

I was sat on my birthing ball which I had moved into the nursery so that Nick had the pleasure of my company whilst he painted over my earlier work. I was reading a furniture catalogue and circling the items I liked, which was something I actually could do.

"Finished." He steps down from the ladder, examining his work. I raise my head to observe the wall.

"Wow." I am surprised at how quickly he has managed to do it and how smooth it looks. "...Well you did better at it than me."

"There's other things you're good at." He winks. "Mind you I had to ration the paint because you used too much doing that corner of the wall."

"Mmm." I rise from the ball and walk over to look at the remnants of paint stuck to the side of the can. I run the brush along the interior of the metal. "Do you know something I _am_ good at?"

"What?" He studies my seductive expression.

"Being dirty." I grin and he's about to move in to kiss me before I splatter paint on his cheek.

"Carla!" He exclaims, his mouth wide. "You little tease."

"I'm good at tricking people too." I giggle and he pulls a face but let's me trace the paint brush down his cheek.

"You're so naughty." He grabs the brush off me and dabs it on the end of my nose before I can stop him.

"Hey!" I yell, biting my lip and he runs it along my forehead as I try to grab it from him. "Nick!" I laugh, before pushing him up against one of the walls which wasn't wet. I stare at him cheekily before pinning his wrist up against the wall and pulling the paint brush from his hand. I knew he was stronger than me, but he let me win. I drag it up and down his chest a few times, covering his t-shirt, before I meet his eyes, his eyes that were full of love and care. I giggle again before moving in to kiss him, tossing the brush on the nylon cover that was protecting the carpet and becoming lost in our kiss once again.


	25. Chapter 25

"Nick wake up..." I am suddenly alerted by Carla shaking me. "Something hurts."

"Ey?" I sit up suddenly, turning the light on. I see her sat with her head tilted forward, clearly in agony. "Hey, hey." I place my hand gently on her tummy.

"I don't know what it is." She panics. "Help."

"Ok, calm down alright?" I soothe, stroking her hair. I check the clock; two am. But I wasn't running any risks. "Carla can you move?"

"I don't know." She shakes her head and then looks at me, her cheeks were tear stained. "This isn't it right? Nick, it can't be it's way too early. She's not ready yet."

"It's alright." I tell her. "Stress isn't good, breathe ok? Right darling, we need to get to the hospital-"

"I can't go to the hospital." She buries her head in her hands, which are now shaking vigorously. "Oh my God this hurts like hell."

I don't delay waiting any longer, I pull on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and trainers before placing a hand behind her back and one under her legs, scooping her up. She was heavy, much heavier than what I was used to. But I suppose I was lifting two people.

"Pillow." I point to it and she reaches to pick it up, laying it by her chest. "Keys, wallet, phone." I check my pockets mentally and then progress to leaving the flat. I have to slam the door with my foot which I'm hoping is shut properly. I take my time going down the stairs so I wasn't careless with her but practically rush out of the building, struggling to unlock and open the car door whilst holding her. I lay her gently into the passenger seat and she throws the pillow down on the floor.

"Ugh." She mutters, tipping her head forward again.

"Carla put the pillow on your lap." I tell her and she doesn't move so I do it for her, placing it so she can rest her head on it.

"Oh my God this is worse than when I jumped off the balcony in Underworld." She moans as I start the engine.

"Look at me. Carla, look at me." I tilt her head slightly. "It's going to be ok. You got that?"

"Just go Nick." She orders. "Drive now."

 **4:20am**

"...I wish they would hurry up." Carla mutters, reaching out her hand for mine. They had given her a scan as soon as we had arrived but the pain had begun to subside by this point. Now they had put her in a bed until they could confirm the results. "It's been about an hour."

"Try and get some rest." I sigh and squeeze her hand tightly as she tilts her head to look at me.

"Don't leave me." She whispers.

"Why would I do that?" I force a laugh.

"Because I have a stupid womb..." She pokes herself and then suddenly jumps.

"What?" I stress. "Shall I get the nurse?"

"No! No, it's kicking, she's kicking." It's the most relieved she has ever looked. "That's got to be a good sign. That is a good sign isn't it?"

"Oh thank God." I rest a hand gently on her tummy and feel the ripples from beneath.

"Stay moving." She talks to her and I study Carla carefully, the doubt laced in her expression.

"I would never leave you." I whisper and she looks at me again, trying to remember what we were talking about. "Don't ever say that again."

"Mrs Connor?" A midwife walks in, luckily she was looking fairly chirpy so I was hoping it was good news. "We've got the results of your scan. Everything is perfectly normal I am happy to tell you."

"Perfectly normal?" Carla virtually spits. "I thought I was in labour or having a miscarriage or something."

"It's called Braxton Hicks contractions." She informs us. "You may have heard of it."

"Yeah, that's what we were reading about a few weeks ago." I nudge Carla. "Remember?"

"They're minor contractions which can occur when you are in your third trimester." She continues. "It's perfectly normal and nothing to worry about but you did the right thing bringing her in."

"Minor contractions?" Carla splutters. "Minor? Tell me have you ever had these brax... Thingy's?"

"Carla." I scold her. "Sorry, go on."

"We'd like to keep you in for a few more hours if that's ok?" The nurse states. "Just to check your blood pressure is alright."

"Thank you." I smile and she walks off. "That was rude, she was only trying to reassure us that it was ok."

"I thought my uterus was going to implode." She hisses. "She tells me they're minor? What's the real thing gonna be like?"

"Ok, that doesn't matter right now." I cut her off. "What's more important is that the baby is safe and you're alright."

"...Sorry." She mumbles and I kiss her.

"Don't be." I sigh, squeezing her hand again.

 **8:17am**

I wonder what she is dreaming about, if she is dreaming. Whether she is scared or confused or relieved. I trace by finger gently over her cheekbones. Her beautiful cheekbones, her thick eyelashes that rest on a bed of their neighbours as she sleeps. Her soft lips, a pale pink colour, the lips that I cherish.

"Mmm!" Her eyes suddenly flutter open, a look of panic on her face.

"Hey." I smile. "It's ok."

"Oh..." She croaks, her eyes darting around the room. "Oh yeah... Is she ok?"

"She's fine." I assure her and she places a hand on her tummy.

"You scared me..." She whispers to the bump. I push a lock of hair out of her face, softly moving it behind her ear. "I hate hospitals... Spend half my life in them. They may as well be my second home."

"I spent half a year in one once." I point out.

"You win." She smiles, weakly. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier."

"Will you stop apologising?" I sigh, finding her hand and linking her fingers with mine.

"When can we go home?" She mumbles.

"They discharged you whilst you were asleep." I tell her. "So whenever, but there's no rush if you're tired."

"I'd much rather sleep in my own bed." She says, sitting herself up as I offer her a glass of water. "What's this?"

"Oh, that's a monitor." I indicate to the band on her arm. "They put that on you too. It measures the baby's heart beat."

"Stylish." She mutters, un-clipping it and putting it on the side table before moving to sit on the side of the bed, fiddling with her fingers. "...Can I have a hug?" She asks and I chuckle slightly before moving to sit next to her, pulling her close as my arms wrap around her frame.

"You have nothing to worry about ok?" I whisper into her hair as she leans against my chest. "I'm going to look after you... And Ella. I promise."

 **8:48am**

"Here we are." I open the door to the flat and she peers round cautiously. "Do you want to go back to bed?"

"...I'm supposed to be in work today." She frowns at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah well you're not." I tell her, passing the pillow over. "Back to bed, and take that with you."

I watch her go, the door is left ajar, the sound of her climbing onto the bed, then silence. I place my elbows on the counter and my head falls into my hands. I let out a long sigh, a combination of shock and panic and relief and fatigue. I was shattered, but no way was I going back to sleep when this had just happened.

 **3:21pm**

"Nick?" I hear Carla's voice from the living room and panic surged through me again. I leave the spare room to see that she is perfectly ok, standing in her dressing gown looking for me.

"She rises." I smile.

"Didn't you come to bed?" She asks. "You look shattered baby."

"I wanted to be awake in case..." I trail off, knowing she would hate that response. "I wouldn't have slept."

"Go and get some sleep." She points to the bedroom and I shake my head, taking her hand.

"Look what I've been doing." I put my hands over her eyes and she stops in her place.

"What's going on?" She questions.

"Shut up and let me show you." I laugh, guiding her towards the spare room. "Surprise!" I lift my hands from her eyes and she stands, staring in shock at the newly decorated room. We had been out to buy the furniture to add to the decor a few days back but hadn't got round to setting it up. I had placed a white wooden crib in the centre of the room, that is underneath a brown and white mobile, swinging gently. There was a large white wooden wardrobe in the corner which I had hung all the baby grows and clothes we currently had in. There was a play mat in the opposing corner which I had laid the toys out on and I had nailed the shelves on the wall with the wallpaper which held the rest of the toys. A new canvas with the latest sonogram photo hung on the wall next to the patterned curtains that I had put up, which had the same pattern on as the wallpaper.

"Oh my God..." She whispers, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh my... Nick... I don't believe... It's beautiful."

"Oh good, I thought you were going to flip out because I'd done it without you." I breathe a sigh of relief as she moves forward to touch the rocking horse that was against the back wall.

"You've done all this today?" I can hear the emotion in her voice. Seeing the room was making her believe it.

"Yeah." I try to hide the pride in my tone. She finally turns to look at me, tears glistening in her eyes. Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she tries to figure out what to say.

"...I love you so much." She whispers and I reach out my arms.

"Come here silly." I chuckle and she walks into them, wrapping her arms around me. We stand there for ages, holding each other. Just her, me and our baby girl. In the room that was our future.


	26. Chapter 26

"What are you doing?" Nick asks me, opening the bathroom door. I was slumped against the wall, one hand on the toilet seat, my head tilted to the side.

"Mmm..." I mumble through waves of sleep. "Feel sick."

I'm only partially conscious because I'm slipping back into sleep, but I can sense Nick cleaning my mouth, tying my hair back in a loose bun, flushing the toilet and carrying me back to bed.

 **8:00am**

The sound of the alarm wakes me suddenly and I groan as it goes off. I didn't want to go to work. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to sleep like I used to sleep before I had to lie in the same position all night long.

"Breakfast is served." Nick knocks on the door, placing a tray down on the bed. On it was a stack of pancakes, a plate of toast, a bowl of strawberries, two boiled eggs and a glass of apple juice. I sit up at the sound of his voice and study the tray carefully.

"You must think I'm really greedy." Is all I can mutter.

"I just gave you a selection of things, didn't know what you wanted." He smiles.

"They should clone you." I croak. "Give one to every woman. I feel selfish having you to myself."

"Yeah well sorry but you're stuck with it." Nick says before kissing me. "Ew... Oh yeah, you were sick early this morning."

"Ohh, was I?" I frown, trying to remember. "What time?"

"Four-ish, found you in the bathroom." He informs me. "Cleaned you up, brought you back to bed... Didn't really want to brush your teeth for you though."

"Oh sorry..." I moan, feeling like an invalid. "I probably taste disgusting... Thank you though, you should have a medal."

"Enough with the compliments." He brushes me off. "Eat your breakfast, might take the taste away."

"Ugh... Go to sleep." I wine, as my tummy starts to grumble loudly, followed by sharp kicks from the baby.

"You'll be saying that for the next three years." He pulls a face.

"Uhh..." I groan at the thought.

"Chelle texted you." He changes the subject as I tuck into a pancake. "Your phone is on the coffee table."

"What did it say?" I ask, through a mouth full of food.

"She wants to meet you today." He tells me.

"That sounds ominous." I frown. "Right well I'll go see her during tea break then."

 **10:33am**

"I was summoned." I approach the bar, already tired from carrying this weight around for a few hours. Ella was getting extremely heavy now and it was tiring me out.

"Hi, you ok?" Michelle asks with a concerned expression.

"I'm shattered." I admit. "And I'm queasy and I'm fed up and I'm... Too hot."

"Hmm..." Michelle looks at me sympathetically. "Poor thing."

"You text me." I sigh, aware that I didn't have a long tea break.

"Yes I was thinking." Her eyes twinkle. "Maybe I could throw you a baby shower."

"A baby shower?" I repeat.

"Yeah." She nods, excitedly. "It's like a party to celebrate-"

"Yeah I know what one is Chelle." I virtually snap. "...Sorry. Yeah, that would be lovely."

"Just not today clearly..." She grimaces. "Today isn't a good day."

"I'm ok, I'm just..." I trail off. "Ugh, how did you do it?"

"Well I had to." She shrugs. "Because you get to this point and there's no going back."

"I'm sick. All the time." I whine. "I either crave a food or it makes me want to hurl. I can't walk around without getting out of breath. I can't sleep because she's kicking. I can't sleep because I have to sleep on one side. I can't sleep because I'm lying awake thinking about... Giant baby heads... Coming out... Stretching me..." I pause, pulling a face. "My tummy is too big. My boobs are too big. My feet are too big and they ache all the time. I have stretch marks forming. I have dark circles under my eyes. I sweat like crazy... And I'm just so tired every single second of the day..."

"...Yeah, it's a blast alright." Michelle marvels, sarcastically, slightly taken aback at my sudden outburst.

"The only thing keeping me together is Nick." I sigh. "He's literally my rock. You know this morning? I was practically sleep-walking to the bathroom because I felt sick, then he comes and cleans me up and puts me back to bed... And then, he brings me breakfast in bed when I wake up."

"What a star." Michelle nods, understandingly.

"I tell you what." I point at her. "When this sprog has popped itself out, I'll be thanking him properly... I mean Chelle we can't even have sex! Me; not having sex. This is killing me. I feel so... Old and worn out and ugh..."

I stare at her blank expression, trying to conjure up something that would make me feel better, or even anything at all.

"I'll get back to the mad house." I eventually save her. "They'll be running riot the lot of them."

"Well, good luck." She smiles. "And I'll get back to you on that baby shower idea."

"Yay..." I try to sound as enthusiastic as possible but right now, having a party with a load of people I most likely do not like, was not at the top of my priorities list.

 **2:48pm**

"Kirk can you carry those boxes upstairs?" I indicate to the pile in the corner.

"Well I'm working on this." He continues putting the lingerie on hangers.

"Yeah well I need you to carry these boxes upstairs." I yell, exasperatedly.

"Come here." Aidan lifts one up and carries it up the staircase.

"Oh..." I trail off before raising my voice again. "Well it needs to go in the corner by the Dolman order."

"There's no space." He shouts.

"Well there should be." I place my hands on my hips.

"Come and show me then." He peers over the balcony, dumping the boxes on the floor.

"Aidan." I drone. "I would, but if I try and go up those stairs, I'll be falling asleep before I reach the top."

"Carla why don't you go home?" Johnny places a hand on my shoulder. "We can cope here."

"This is my business." I tell him. "If I take too much leave you'll run this place into the ground."

"Mrs Connor?" Beth yells. "Machine is on the blink again."

"Uhhhh..." I groan, going over to her. "Tell you what, go use Fiz's until she gets back, I'll get it checked out."

"Well I have to move all my stuff." She whines.

"Well move it then." I raise my eyebrows. "Honestly! What are you all gonna do when I'm on maternity leave? I'll be slipping in meetings between feeds."

 **6:07pm**

"I tell you what." I announce as I open the flat, without even checking whether Nick was there. "They're running riot over there. We literally got that order out by the skin of our teeth..."

I trail off when my eyes focus on the dim light of the room. Nick was plating up food on the kitchen surface, the table was laid with the best cutlery and candles were flickering gently in the centre.

"What the..." I mutter, putting my bag down on the sofa.

"Dinner." He answers my question before I can ask it.

"...Are you trying to win some sort of award for best chef today or something?" Is all I can say, my mouth hanging open slightly.

"You think I cooked this?" He laughs, putting the plates down on the table. "No, brought it back from he Bistro."

"Why?" I question, slightly bemused by the scene in front of me.

"Because I wanted to treat my fiancé." He rolls his eyes. "So we're going to eat and laugh and then have a nice night in. But there's one exception... No baby talk."

"Ey?" I frown.

"We're not gonna talk about the baby or the pregnancy or the birth." He tells me before seeing my expression. "I had a little chat with Chelle."

"Ohh." I nod, smiling as he pulls the chair out for me. "So what's brought all this on?"

"I love you." He mutters and I giggle as he sits down at the opposite end of the table.

"So how was work?" I ask, tucking into my cottage pie.

"Busy." He shrugs. "How was work for you?"

"Stressful." I respond and chew my food for a while. "This is a scintillating conversation Nicholas."

"I prefer being quiet." He says. "Enjoying your company."

"You on drugs today?" I raise my eyebrows and he laughs. "Or have you done something bad because you're being nice."

"Aren't I always nice?" He asks.

"Hmm..." I murmur. "Yeah I suppose. Nicest guy I've ever been with."

"Wouldn't hear you say that in two thousand and ten." He scoffs. "Who would have thought ey?"

"I do think that... Often." I grin. "I sometimes think to myself 'wow things must be bad ending up with Nick Tilsley."

"You're full of compliments today." He shakes his head and I flash him a smile before turning back to my food.


	27. Chapter 27

"Ok so from this day forward, I will be taking my maternity leave." I announce to my employee's. "So I'm leaving the factory in the trusty hands of Aidan. However, don't get too cocky because I am right up the road and I'll be popping in from time to time."

"Of course." He laughs.

"And I will be visiting of course when I've popped this one out." I tap my tummy. "If only it were that simple."

"You'll be amazing." Fiz beams.

"Yeah! You can do it Mrs C!" Sean cheers and I cringe as they all stand to hug me.

"Oh ok, group hug." I laugh as they smother me in kisses.

"Well isn't this a happy sight?" I hear Nick's voice and everyone parts. "Bet you can't wait to get rid of her ey?"

"Shush you." I smile, going to kiss him. "Right, early dart all of you. Off you go."

They begin to depart and I wave them off, Nick swaying me slightly in his arms.

"Pub." He says.

"Pub?" I repeat. "No thanks I want a kebab and my sofa."

"Tough." He grabs my hand and leads me out of the factory.

"Well then I suppose Aidan can lock up." I roll my eyes at his urgency.

 **5:13pm**

"Where's Chelle?" I ask Steve for what feels like the tenth time, he had just blanked me, pointing to the back room.

"Out." He mutters.

"The Rovers Return." I cheer. "Best place to get service with a smile..."

"Finish your orange juice." Nick orders, checking his phone.

"Oh _finally_." I say, drinking the last of my drink. "So we can go home then, thank you Mr Tilsley for that expedition."

"Come on." He rolls his eyes, pulling me out of the pub.

"Oh can we get a kebab?" I ask him.

"No, we'll get take away." He tells me.

"...But I want a kebab." I object. "What has gotten into you?"

"I want doesn't get." He leads me up Victoria Street.

"The _baby_ wants a kebab." I insist.

"Will you be quiet about your flaming kebab?" Nick laughs, opening the door to Victoria Court.

"Well no." I persist. "Because I'm craving a kebab."

"If you say kebab one more time." He sighs, placing the key in the door.

"...Kebab." I mutter as he opens the door and I suddenly jump in shock.

"Surprise!" A group of people yell, party poppers flying everywhere.

"Oh..." I try to hide the annoyance in my voice. Right now, I wanted Nick, the sofa, the TV and... A kebab. Not this. But I could see Michelle had gone to a lot of effort. "Hi everyone."

"Happy baby shower!" Michelle cheers. "Told you I would do one!"

"Thank you." I force a smile, my eyes falling over the sea of people in front of me; Michelle, Maria, Kylie, Gail, Audrey, Fiz, Sinead, Sean, Izzy, Alya, Eva and Kate. I had to entertain all these people. Brilliant.

"I forgot your fruit basket." Gail chirps, breaking the awkward silence.

"Well..." Nick coughs slightly. "Have fun." He places a hand on my shoulder before leaving.

"Presents!" Michelle grins. Oh good... Presents.

 **6:02pm**

"Oh..." I unwrap some plastic object that I have never seen before in my life. "It's a... Nice... Uh..."

"Breast pump." Maria informs me.

"Oh right." I nod, my mouth hanging open slightly as I place it down on the table. "Well... Thank you, very much."

I was tired and bored; I'd been unwrapping presents for almost an hour now and it was just freaking me out even more.

"I'm just gonna pop to the loo." I smile, getting up and having to support myself. I felt completely bewildered. I was out of my depth now and I hated it. I close the bathroom door and immediately dial Nick's number. He picks up almost instantly, as he has been doing the last few weeks.

"Hi." He says. "Everything ok?"

"Please come home." My voice is shaking and he can tell.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asks, concern in his voice.

"I can't do this." I whisper. "I can't do this whole big party... Please I need you... Sorry."

"Ok." He assures me. "Ok I'll come now."

He hangs up and I lean back against the wall, hearing lively chatter from outside. I didn't want to see anyone right now except for Nick. I looked a mess. I was too tired to deal with the pressure of entertaining. I hated people throwing their best wishes and complicated gifts at me. I slump down onto the floor in a heap, nursing my stomach as I did so.

I don't know what excuse Nick makes, but it pays off. I immediately hear the noise die down and the sounds of people thanking him before leaving. He doesn't wait after the last person has exited before knocking softly on the door.

"Carla?" His voice is so calming. I manage to pull myself up, sliding the lock across. I pull the door open and meet his eyes.

Then I begin to cry and his look is filled with care and kindness and sympathy. I hated pity, but right now I needed it.

"Come here." She sighs and he wraps his arms around me.

 **6:49pm**

"It was a lovely gesture." I murmur, sleepily as he strokes my hair. I was laying against his chest on the sofa, my favourite place to be. It made me feel so calm, as if nothing could ever happen. "I just... I couldn't do it."

"I'm sorry." He sighs, placing kisses into my hair. "I should have known. I did know. I just wasn't thinking."

"Chelle went to so much effort." I mumble, too comfortable to move my head to examine the room again. "I feel like a right cow."

"You're not." He whispers, rubbing my aching tummy gently. "Well maybe sometimes but not now."

Usually I would retort something or slap him lightly but I don't move. In fact I smile slightly at his words. His voice was all I needed to make me feel safe right now.

"I'll clean everything up later." He reassures me. "Michelle will understand I promise."

"I don't really think the words 'thank you' do it justice..." I trail off. "But thank you."

"For clearing up?" He frowns.

"No." I say. "For everything."

"Don't even mention it." He replies and there is a comfortable silence as he continues to hold me.

"...I'm scared." I finally whisper, so quietly I'm afraid he might not hear me, but he does.

"I know." He places a kiss on my forehead, breathing into me softly. "But it'll be ok. I promise."


	28. Chapter 28

"Mmmmm..." I groan, emerging from the bedroom.

"Still nothing?" He sighs as I lean up against the door frame.

"...I feel like I'm about to explode." I state.

"Well..." He shrugs. "Technically you are... Just not... So violently... Hopefully anyway-"

"Shut up." I cut him off, aggressively and he holds his hands up. "Can't we do something to get it out?"

"I think we just have to wait sweetheart." He grits his teeth, wondering what I was going to lash out with next.

"Well I'm sick of waiting!" I moan. "The due date was four days ago. Can't you get me a... I don't know; C-section or something?"

"...I think you have to book them in advance." He tells me. "Besides you wouldn't want one, you're too vain to have scars."

"I don't care what I look like right now." I whine before indicating to my appearance. "Evidently. I just want this... Thing out of me."

"That 'thing' is your baby girl remember?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah well she better come out of the womb thanking me." I mutter, plonking myself down on the birthing ball.

 **11:37am**

"Where did you buy the condoms from?" I interrogate Nick, bouncing up and down rapidly to reduce my stress.

"What condoms?" He frowns.

"The night you impregnated me." I roll my eyes. "Because we're never buying them from there again."

"I'll add that to the list." He says, strapping four pillows together.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Packing." He informs me. "For the hospital."

"I'm bored." I moan.

"Well go for a walk then." He suggests. "Walking is supposed to induce labour."

"I have nowhere else in this flat to walk to." I grumble.

"Do you want to go for a walk outside?" He questions.

"Do I have any dignity?" I sass, sarcasm woven into my tone.

"Yeah well I'm cooking you curry for lunch." He tells me. "So maybe that'll do it."

"Ugh..." I scrunch my nose up at the thought. "I'll only throw it back up."

"Spicy foods." He points out. "That's another thing that'll help."

"You know what helps..." I remind him and he gives me a look.

"No." He shakes his head. "We've tried having sex Carla, it just doesn't work."

"Well I'll try different positions then!" I exclaim, sounding completely desperate but I suppose I was.

"Look I'm sorry darling." He sighs exasperatedly. "But sex is off the table."

"That's not what you were saying on 20th August 2015." I mutter. "Or every night after."

"Yeah well it was possible then." He retorts.

"Are you that un-attracted to me right now?" I ask, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"Carla..." He turns to look at me. "Of course I'm not. You idiot. I respect you now more than ever."

"Then get your flaming trousers off Tilsley!" I yell and he buries his head in his hands.

"They should put a trigger warning on you." He sighs. "Batteries need charging every night, fill her up and she's ready to go."

"Oi!" I shout at him. "You signed up for this, you could have walked away."

"Yes well I'm glad I didn't!" He raises his voice slightly. "Because I love you."

"...Don't give me another reason to throw up." I mutter and it makes him laugh.

 **1:12pm**

"Eat it." He sighs, watching as I stir my fork around the dish, my sinuses retching at the smell of curry.

"It's not doing anything." I groan. "And it's really spicy."

"That's the point." He replies. "You've barely had any."

"I already feel sick." I tell him. "I don't really want anything else exiting my body thanks."

"Fine, leave it then." He concludes and I put my fork down. Standing up to hold the back of the chair.

"Uhhhhh..." I whine, swaying slightly. "Get out of me now!"

"Said Carla Connor never." He chuckles, clearing the plates away and I glare at him.

"You're hilarious." I scoff, laying my head on the top of the chair.

"Water." He offers me and I nod as he places it to my lips. I take a long sip before he removes the bottle and kisses me quickly. "Love you."

"Love you too." I mutter.

 **3:28pm**

"This is getting worse can we go now?" I ask, leaning up against the wall as he reads a book on newborn babies.

"When your waters break." He sighs and the buzzer rings out suddenly. "I'll get it."

"Whoever it is, tell them to go." I order and he nods obediently.

"Nick, it's Gail." I hear the familiar voice faintly through the phone. "...Oh hold on, it's ok, someone has let me up."

"Oh brilliant!" I yell. "Just what we need."

"I'll tell her to get lost." He assures me, opening the door to let his mother in.

"Hello!" She smiles, cheerily. "How are we both doing today?"

"Never been better..." I exclaim, sarcastically.

"Well I brought you this fruit basket." She places it down on the coffee table. "I forgot to take it to your party the other week, so I thought I would drop it off now."

"Thanks... Mum." Nick mutters. "Um, we're a bit preoccupied so-"

"It's got apples and plums and bananas in it." She beams. "Some oranges too, I think I even saw a pear in there somewhere."

"Mmm..." I groan, loudly, pushing against the wall again.

"Oh..." Gail trails off. "Do you not like pears Carla?"

"Yeah ok." He ushers his mother out of the flat. "Thanks very much for this, it's lovely."

"Ok but-" she begins but he slams the door in her face.

"Is she off her head?" I ask, letting out a long breath as I do so.

"Probably." Nick shrugs. "...Do you want anything?"

"Drugs." I reply and he kisses me on the side of the head.

"You're doing great." He tells me and I roll my eyes.

 **5:03pm**

"I swear to God." I cut the silence again. "As soon as we get to the hospital I'm taking anything they give me."

" _You_ on gas and air." He smiles. "That'll be a laugh."

"I don't think any of this will be a laugh." I warn him. "But at least it might shut me up for a bit." I force a smile at him and he returns it, shaking his head in the process. "You know this is only gonna get worse these next few hours? For you and me."

"I know." He laughs. "I've put up with you for long enough, I don't think this'll throw me."

"You might be surprised." I mutter and I almost scream as a gush of fluid trickles down my leg. "Ew!"

"Yay!" Nick cheers and I pull a face.

"That's disgusting." I screw my nose up as he goes into the bathroom. "That felt so weird!"

"Well prepare yourself then." He responds, emerging with a wad of tissue which he wipes the substance from my legs with.

"Get any further up and you'll be going back on what you said earlier." I giggle and he pulls a face as he puts the tissue down on the coffee table. Turning back to kiss me.

"You ready for this?" He meets my eyes.

"No." I reply bluntly. "But I don't really have much choice."


	29. Chapter 29

"Here you go." I dump the stuff in our hospital room. I was relieved we had managed to get a private one considering this was past the due date because otherwise Carla would have been fuming more than she already was.

"I probably spend more time here than I do in the pub." She narrows her eyes, observing the rather plain room carefully.

"Well I think that would be hard." I tell her. "I need to go and get the ball from the car, will you be alright?"

"Suppose." She shrugs. "Just don't take too long."

"Five minutes tops." I promise, kissing her before leaving.

 **5:55pm**

"Ok, your blood pressure looks fine as does your baby." The midwife smiles, checking the monitor. "You've got a while to wait yet so I suggest you find something to do to pass the time."

"Oh well I'll get my colouring book out then shall I?" She rolls her eyes but the midwife just laughs, clearly used to it. "Am I allowed to eat anything?"

"Uh..." She contemplates. "I'll allow you dry foods for now, best to get it consumed as early on as possible. But if you will be requiring drugs you won't be able to eat past that point."

"I have some crackers if you want them?" I unpack the bag and Carla nods.

"I'll leave you to it." The midwife smiles. "Let me know if there's anything you need."

"Here you go." I open the packet and place them on the table as she takes a cracker and nibbles on it. "Small snacks remember? Don't go eating them all at once."

"Yes Nicholas." She replies. I was pleased that she was in a relatively good mood, although I knew this wouldn't last long...

 **6:36pm**

"Uhhhhhhh..." She mutters, bouncing herself up and down on her ball as she leans up against the window. I keep an eye on her over the newspaper I'm reading.

"Breathing techniques remember?" I prompt her, thinking it best to leave her to her own devices unless she wanted me.

"When do I get this flaming epidural?" She asks, after the contraction. She was being surprisingly mature about this whole thing, which I was soaking up gratefully.

"You've just been given that." I point to the instrument she was holding that provides gas and air. "You're hardly even using it."

"Where's the water?" She questions and I bring it over to her, taking the liberty of raising it to her lips because she had one hand on her tummy and the other was holding her pain relief equipment.

"Ok?" I confirm and she nods, so I pull it away, placing it down next to her. I stroke her hair a few times and she lets out a long sigh. "Michelle said she's gonna come up in a bit. I said she could pop in to see you if it's ok with you."

"As long as it is at a relevant time." She mumbles and I laugh before bending down to kiss her on the forehead and walking back to my seat.

"Should have told her to make an appointment then shouldn't I?" I smirk and she closes her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall.

 **7:18pm**

"There's a couple out there with a bag of chips." Carla is observing the outside world from the window, which I'm glad we have because it's providing a lot of entertainment for her. "Lucky... They're not going through this right now..."

"Calm." I sigh, going over to her to see what she was looking at. "There's a mother with a little girl there." I point out, to the opposite side of the street. "That'll be you soon."

"Yeah we'll see." She mutters. "People can't see me through these things right?"

"Windows? No course not." I nudge her and she gives me a withering look. "They're one way, so no they can't."

"See, that wasn't so hard to answer was it?" She questions before exhaling sharply again, leaning against the wall to her left hand side.

"Ow, no." She places a hand on her tummy.

"Breathe." I remind her.

"You know, saying 'breathe' to me doesn't really help?" She snaps, letting out a low groan, swaying gently.

"If it's any consolation I do think you're doing really well." I tell her.

"Wow, thanks." She closes her eyes, taking long breaths out. "Mmmm..."

"Alright?" I check as she opens her eyes again, before covering her face with her hand.

"Ball." She points to it and I bring it over, placing it by her feet as she sits back down on it. She already looks tired, I was hoping they would give her the epidural soon so that she could rest.

"Do you want a pillow?" I ask. "You can rest it behind your head?"

"Mm." She nods and I unstrap one from the pile I had brought with us. I go back over to her and tilt her head forward slightly to place it gently behind it.

"That ok?" I check and she gives me a thumbs up which makes me laugh.

 **7:43pm**

"How are we doing in here?" The midwife enters, a clipboard in her arms as she goes to check the monitor. "Everything's looking ok, you feeling alright Carla?"

"As alright as I'm supposed to be." She tries a weak smile.

"When can she have the epidural?" I insert but Carla cuts me off.

"No." She stops me. "I don't want one."

"...What?" I frown at her.

"I want to do it without." She argues and my heart melts. She was serious about this; she wanted to be strong and prove she could do it.

"Ok." I smile. "If that's what you want."

"You can always change your mind anyway." She informs us before leaving again. "Feel free to give me a shout whenever."

"Thank you." Carla says and I wait until the midwife is gone before I go over and kiss her. "What's that for?"

"Because you're amazing and I love you." I tell her and she looks slightly taken aback.

"Steady on." She grins and her face suddenly falls as another contraction comes along.

"For God's sake..." She mutters, reaching out for my hand and squeezing it tightly. I brush the hair out of her face as she tips her head forward, letting out a long groan. "Ok yeah I hate this."

"You're doing great." I assure her and she shakes her head quickly. "You are!" I laugh and she looks up to kiss me quickly before tipping her head forwards again. She exhales sharply, tightening her grip on my hand which I didn't mind.

"Mmm..." She mumbles, breathing in again.

"Remember what they taught us at those classes?" I remind her and she nods, letting a long continuous breath out as the contraction ends. She lets go of my hand and I grab the water bottle. "Well done."

"Thank you." She takes the bottle from me gratefully, taking a long gulp from it.

"I'm gonna go fill this up ok?" I ask, noticing the lack of liquid left inside and she nods, appreciatively. "There's a water dispenser just down this corridor."

I kiss her on the forehead before leaving the room, finding my way down the corridor.

"Nick?" I hear a familiar voice behind me and turn to see Michelle and Steve heading up an opposing corridor.

"Hi!" I greet, bending down to fill up the bottle.

"How is she?" She asks, concerned.

"She's doing absolutely amazingly." I tell them the truth, removing the bottle from the pump. "Couldn't have asked for anything more from her. I think she's tired but embracing it."

"Ah, will she mind visitors?" Michelle questions, excitedly.

"I'm sure she'd love to see you." I smile, follow me. I lead them back up the corridor and peer round the door to the room, noticing that Carla was lying on her side now, on top of the covers on the bed. "I've brought visitors."

"Hello." Carla smiles warmly.

"Hi!" Michelle greets, going to bend down and kiss her on the cheek. "Oh babe, Nick says you're doing really well."

"Yeah well I should hope so." She scoffs and I go back to sitting in my seat. "I just have to keep thinking about the end you know? That's what's getting me through."


	30. Chapter 30

She is lying on her side, eyes closed, hair draped over her face. I brush it away gently, tucking it behind her ear. I would give anything to take her place right now, seeing her in this much pain was killing me. I always did everything I could to protect her, but right now the best I could do was offer support.

"I'm so tired." She mumbles and I kiss her head, continuing to stoke her hair. "My back hurts."

"If you press your hands to the wall it can help relieve back pain?" I offer and she just groans slightly.

"Ok." She murmurs, opening her eyes slowly. Placing a hand behind her, I enable her to roll onto her back before sitting her up gently. She climbs out of bed as carefully as possible and goes to press her hands against the wall. I take the liberty of going over to her and rubbing her back in circular motions as that is something I read that helps. "You're a star."

"No, you're a star." I correct her and she forces a slight laugh before tilting her head forward as the next contraction starts.

"Mm..." She mutters and I continue to rub her back as she takes sharp breaths in and out. "Oh my God Nick this hurts like hell!" She suddenly yells hammering her hand against the wall.

"Shh..." I soothe her, as she lets out a long moan, swaying slightly as she does so. I use my spare hand to gather her hair and pull it out of her face, holding it in a ponytail so that it wasn't in her way.

"Mmmm..." She whines, continuing to breathe heavily.

"I'm so proud of you." I reassure her and she grunts in response before exhaling sharply.

She rests her head against the wall when the contraction ends and remains there for a bit as I guide my hand softly up and down her back.

"Does your back feel any better?" I ask.

"Mm." She nods in response and turns around to face me, leaning her back against the wall. I go to take the damp cloth off the table and wipe the layer of sweat gently off her forehead, before kissing it. Then I pick the water bottle up and feed it into her lips which she accepts gratefully.

"Alright?" I ask and she just sighs, sipping on it as I hold it for her.

"Uhhh..." She mutters, holding her tummy and I take the bottle away.

"Another one already?" I ask concerned and she nods, slumping against the wall. "Maybe you should pick another position, that's not very sturdy."

"Oh my God I'm gonna die!" She yells as it kicks in and I force back a laugh.

"Carla you're not gonna die sweetheart." I stroke her hair.

"Yeah I am!" She objects loudly, letting out a long moan. "Get me the flipping... Thing." She points to the gas and air pipe and I go to fetch it for her. She grabs it out my hand and breathes into it heavily.

"Careful." I warn her and she slows, meeting my eyes.

"Mmmmmmm..." She moans, practically drooling on the instrument she's holding to her mouth. I wait patiently until the contraction ends before wiping her head again. She looks at me appreciatively and reaches out for my hand.

"I don't think you should stay there." I suggest and she gulps. "Try sitting on your ball."

 **10:01pm**

"Ok, you're doing brilliantly Carla." The midwife smiles.

"Could've fooled me." She scoffs.

"Stop doubting yourself." I tell her, offering her the water bottle.

"I am never doing this again." She warns me, sipping on the bottle.

"Really?" I raise my eyebrows and she hesitates.

"...Maybe." She sighs before the next contraction begins.

"Ok can you try pushing now for me Carla?" The midwife asks and I see the alarm in her face.

"What?" Carla splutters, her breathing beginning to race.

"Just push down for me." She repeats and Carla looks at me, shocked.

"I love you." I tell her and she pulls a face.

"No!" She yells, but she reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly. I watch as she tips her head forward, drawing in a deep breath.

"Good." The midwife nods. "Really good."

"See, you're doing good." I whisper.

"Yeah, I'm not deaf Nicholas!" She snaps at me.

"Jane can you come and hold Carla's left leg?" The midwife asks the nurse and she comes round to move Carla's leg. I wipe her forehead and she groans loudly.

"Ok, another long push now Carla please." The midwife says and she squeezes my hand again as she arches her back before throwing her head back onto the pillows, panting.

"No." She shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't... No."

"Yes you can." I stroke her hair softly.

"No I really can't." She looks at me, panicked. "You don't understand, this is impossible."

"It's not because you're almost there." I reassure her.

"I wasn't made to do this." She shakes her head. "I'm not supposed to do this. This is going against nature."

"Listen to me." I say firmly. "We have waited nine months ok? All the pain and the sleepless nights and the aching and the sweating and the cravings and the yelling. It all comes down to this. You're almost there sweetheart, don't give up now."

"...I love you." She whispers and I smile.

"Again Carla please." The midwife says in a more serious tone this time. "Push down for me."

"Go on." I murmur and she screws her face up as she pushes again before releasing herself back onto the pillows, her breath ragged, crying in pain. I realise in this moment that she has never been as beautiful as she was right now. I respected her more than I ever thought I could have done. She was the strongest woman I have ever met and she had done more than prove it to me. She started this pregnancy for me and finished it for us.

"I'm too tired." She pants and I shake my head at her.

"Almost there." I whisper.

"The head is crowning." The midwife informs us.

"See?" I nudge Carla and a look of shock fills her face. "See? You're doing so well."

"Nearly there?" She asks me and I nod as she squeezes my hand again, letting out a long moan as she pushes.

"Oh my God!" She screams. "This flaming hurts!"

"Push again for me Carla." The midwife nods and she takes another deep breath in before releasing it. "And again."

It all goes in slow motion from then on. I hear the sound of a baby crying and my eyes drift from Carla to the child that is being held in the midwife's arms. My mouth falls open in shock and I notice that Carla doesn't really know what's going on. She's shattered, throwing her head back and panting breathlessly.

"Hey." I gasp, nudging her arm as I watch them clean my daughter up with a towel.

"Do you want to cut the cord?" The midwife asks me and I release Carla's hand to walk around and greet my baby. She shows me how to hold the scissors and I insert a deep cut into the cord as it breaks apart. "Let me just clamp her."

I gaze in amazement before going back to Carla brushing her hair out of her face and helping her to sit up. She's completely bewildered, lost, confused, until Ella is handed to her in a towel.

She bursts into tears immediately and it is beautiful. It is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. The woman I loved more than anything holding our daughter, completely shocked at the fact she had managed to grow and birth her.

I begin to cry too. The surprise was too much for both of us. I had wanted this for so long and it was finally happening. I watch as Carla tries to steady herself as she rocks her baby gently.

"Hello..." She gasps, her breathing heavy, tears coating her cheeks. "Hello Ella."

"Oh my God." I gasp, covering my mouth with my hand as I try to get to grips with what I was witnessing. The woman who thought she could never be a mother, had suddenly become the best mother in the world. She loved her daughter. The way that her mother could never love her. I lean down and place a lingering kiss on her forehead before she tilts her head upwards. I meet her lips, softly, feeling the heat emanating from them. "I love you." I whisper to her before turning to my baby and touching her tiny hand.

"...She's so tiny." Carla murmurs, beginning to laugh through her tears. "I actually did it... I don't believe I actually did it."

"You did." I kiss her forehead again. "I promised you that you would."


	31. Chapter 31

My eyes flutter open and it takes me a moment to adjust to my surroundings.

"Mm..." I mumble and Nick immediately comes into focus, sitting down next to me.

"Hey." He smiles and I lean in for a kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"...Relieved." I croak and he laughs, studying my face, love woven into his expression. He gently pushes my hair back and then leans to kiss me on the forehead.

"I'm so proud of you." He whispers and his voice calms me.

"Where's Ella?" I suddenly notice that the plastic cot is empty.

"They've just taken her for a feed." He reassures me.

"Well isn't that my job?" I murmur.

"You were asleep." He reminds me. "Didn't want to disturb you."

"Listen." I take his hand, which I notice is bruised from when I had battered it in the delivery room. "Thank you for being so supportive."

"Why wouldn't I be?" He whispers. "Thank you for being so strong and brave."

 **9:17am**

"Someone wants their mummy." The midwife greets us, holding Ella in her arms. I sit up at the sight of her and our daughter is passed to me.

"Hey..." I smile down at her. "You're so beautiful."

"She looks like you." Nick nudges me and I remove my eyes for a second to kiss him.

"I'll leave you to it." The midwife leaves and I sit staring at my daughter, tracing my finger over her silky skin. Everything about her was perfect, the soft dark hair that coated her head. Her sweet pink lips, her long thick eyelashes.

"She has your cheekbones." He laughs.

"Shut up!" I giggle, I couldn't get the smile off my face. "She doesn't have cheekbones yet."

"She does have cheekbones silly." He argues. "You just can't see them through all the baby fat."

"She's not fat!" I slap him lightly.

"I didn't say she was fat!" He bites his lip before kissing me. "Besides, babies are supposed to be chubby aren't they? It's all that chocolate you've been eating."

"Nicholas, I swear to God." I grin as there is a knock on the door.

"Oh my gosh, hi!" Michelle's eyes fall on Ella instantly. "Sorry are we interrupting?"

"No come in." I greet. "Nick was going to get me a muffin from the vending machine anyway."

"Oh, bye then." He rolls his eyes. "I suppose that's me gone."

"Chocolate." I prompt him as he begins to exit.

"As always." He shouts back before disappearing.

"Do you want to hold her?" I ask Michelle and she nods, taking her from me gently.

"She's so beautiful Carla." She whispers, cradling her in her arms. "And so small."

"She didn't feel small when she was coming out of my... Area." I pull a face and she laughs.

"You're a mum now." She reminds me. "Never did I think I'd be saying that to you but I'm so glad I am."

"That's auntie Chelle." I say to Ella.

"Yay." Michelle cheers.

"...Do you remember when I first visited you when you'd given birth?" I ask and she nods.

"Yeah, you turned up after doing an exam in your scruffy school uniform and wouldn't shut up about question seventeen." She remembers.

"Oh yeah..." I reminisce. "I remember saying I was never ever going to do it."

"I believed you at the time." She tells me.

"Yeah." I nod. "So did I."

 **1:02pm**

"If you'd have told me a year ago that today I'd be lying here, looking at my baby, I'd have laughed in your face." I whisper as Nick massages my scalp gently.

"I know." He laughs slightly. "...This is gonna be hard, you know right?"

"Yeah." I nod. "But it's going to be amazing."

"You got that right." He kisses me on the head as the midwife enters.

"Hi, how are we feeling?" She smiles.

"Good." I respond, sitting up a little.

"I think it's feeding time." She beams, lifting Ella out of her cot.

"Oh..." I trail off, this was something I was nervous about. "Right ok..."

"It's really simple." She reassures me. "Ella will do most of it for you anyway. You just need to rest her in your arms like that." She passes her to me. "Undo those buttons, raise her head a little..."

I exchange an awkward look with Nick, I didn't feel too comfortable having this woman so close to my breasts.

"When she's comfortable with your nipple she should start to feed." She tells me.

"Ah..." I rock her a little, trying to cut the silence.

"Some babies don't do it at first, they have to get used to it." She assures me.

"Yeah that'll be me alright... Probably got faulty..." I trail off as I feel a tiny suction. "Oh... Ok... That's weird."

"Is she doing it?" Nick asks.

"I think so..." I bite my lip, it felt strange but new. "It feels so odd!"

"It will do the first few times." The midwife informs me. "But you'll get used to it pretty soon."

"As if I'm feeding her." I exclaim. "This is crazy..."

 **4:23pm**

"Welcome home." Nick announces, unlocking the door to the flat as he carries Ella's travel seat. I follow after him and peer round the familiar flat, which had suddenly been filled with so much more warmth and happiness on our return. I'm bursting to hold my baby again, considering it had been five minutes since I last did. I gently unstrap her from the seat as Nick places it on the floor and I lift her up into my arms.

"This is the living room." I talk to her in the childlike voice which I know Nick loves. "That's the kitchen, where I'll be making you dinner..."

"God help her." Nick laughs and I shoot him a look, despite the smile on my face.

"This is mummy and daddy's room." I carry her into the bedroom despite the fact I knew she was pretty much fast asleep and I was just talking to myself and my boyfriend. "And this..." I open the door to the nursery as Nick follows me in. "Is your room, yay!" I give a little cheer and Nick puts his arm around me.

"Where we'll spend many sleepless nights." He sighs before kissing me on the side of the head.

"Do you mind?" I scold. "You're interrupting my house tour with your witty comments."

"Sorry estate agent Connor." He salutes. "I'll leave you to it and go get the rest of the stuff from the car."

"Daddy decorated this for you." I tell her, loud enough so that he can hear as he leaves. "Mummy tried, but she's not very good at DIY. She's going to try and get better though. At everything, so she can be a good mother to you... I never thought I could love you as much as I do Ella. You've made me so happy..."


	32. Chapter 32

I wake up to the sound of wailing, Carla jumps up suddenly, panicking.

"Is she ok?" Carla frets, wincing at the clock. 5:09am. Thus begins the next few years of our lives. "It's early."

"Get used to it." I groan, pulling myself out of bed and following her out to the nursery.

"Hey..." Carla puts on her cheeriest voice as she clicks the light on. "What's the matter darling?"

I observe as she picks her up and supports Ella over her shoulder, patting her back softly and bouncing lightly. I knew she would never believe it, but she looked like she had been doing this for years. I was shocked at how natural it looked, I thought that it would be me trying to get her to help out. But maybe this was just the honeymoon period.

"What a racket hey?" She continues as Ella begins to quieten at the sound of her voice.

"Maybe she's hungry." I prompt.

"No, she's just a bit confused aren't you?" She talks to her. "Woke up and didn't know where she was."

"What as opposed to being in the womb?" I ask grumpily and she glares at me before turning back to our daughter.

"Daddy's a bit cranky isn't he?" She says to her.

"I'm making a coffee do you want one?" I change the subject.

"Uh..." She contemplates. "Am I allowed caffeine when I'm breast feeding?"

"Yeah." I respond, looking it up on my phone just in case.

"Actually no I'm alright." She smiles at Ella, holding her at arms length.

"...So I looked that up for no reason then?" I frown.

"Well it's hardly that much of a strain is it?" She hisses, trying not to raise her voice and I storm out. I wasn't even angry, so why I was taking it out on her I didn't know.

 **5:27am**

"...Hello." I hear Carla's voice as she approaches me slowly. I'm sat doing a pile of paperwork and I put the pen down when I see her.

"Sorry." I reply and she shakes her head.

"It's ok." She smiles, sitting herself on the edge of the table, ruffling my hair with her hand. "It's early."

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you though." I sigh, putting my head in my hands.

"I think I've taken enough out on you these past few months." She reminds me.

"Yeah well you had an excuse." I point out. "...How is she?"

"Gone back to sleep." She murmurs. "...So we can if you like."

"I'm not really very tired anymore." I shrug. "Coffee has woken me up."

"...I didn't mean to sleep." She grins as I latch onto what she was saying.

"Carla!" I slap her lightly with a tea towel. "We can't do that with a baby in the house."

"What? So we're just not gonna have sex for the next eighteen years?" She hisses. "I wouldn't survive until her first birthday!"

"...You've just given birth." It sounds like I'm trying to make excuses, but I wasn't, it had been months and I was really turned on by the way she was now wrapping the tea towel round my neck, pulling me forward to kiss her.

"Mmm..." She sighs into me. "Well you can go gently can't you?"

"Fine, deal." I narrow my eyes and lift her off the table before practically racing into the bedroom.

 **8:19am**

"Ok, coming!" I yell, annoyed we had been woken up again, this time not by Ella. The buzzer was ringing out repeatedly and I almost break the cord connecting the intercom and the phone in the process. "What?"

"It's me!" I hear mum's voice. Oh God, not now.

"Sorry we're a bit busy right now." I snap.

"Oh but I've brought visitors." She says merrily.

"...Who?" I drone.

"Well there's just me and your gran and David and Kylie, Lily and Max..." She trails off. "Michael... Oh and Bethany and Sarah are on their way so they'll just let us up if you don't."

"Why aren't they in bed?" I ask exasperatedly.

"I sent them out to buy you another fruit basket." She tells me and my eyes drift to the one that was still on the coffee table, unopened, next to the tissue that I had used to clean Carla up. Yeah I needed to bin that.

"Why is Michael here?" I sigh.

"Can we have this conversation upstairs?" She squeaks. "He's just come to have a peek at the baby."

"Ugh..." I groan before reluctantly buzzing them up.

"Morning." Carla comes out of the room and wraps her arms around my neck, kissing me. She was glowing with beauty and happiness. I suddenly regret letting them up because all I wanted now was her and my daughter.

"...You're gonna hate me." I pull a face.

"Why?" She frowns but it doesn't need an answer because the rabble from outside the flat was enough to explain it.

"Hello." Gail smiles widely as she enters the room.

"How did you get in?" I question.

"Spare key." She holds it up. "You leave it on top of the hall light."

"Yeah well we won't be anymore." I practically snatch it off her.

"Well, where's the baby?" She questions.

"More importantly..." Audrey nudges her. "How are you feeling Carla love?"

"Oh I'm alright." She smiles.

"Congratulations bro." David comes up to shake my hand before walking over to the fridge and helping himself some of the chocolate milk that was still there from Carla's pregnancy.

"Those stairs are steep." Michael enters with Kylie, followed by the kids. "Sorry I couldn't keep up with these lot."

"I'll go and get Ella." Carla tells me and I nod.

"How you finding life as a dad?" Kylie asks me, trying to prize her bag from Max's grip.

"Yeah, I mean, just preparing myself for the sleepless nights." I shrug, they really did pick the worst moments.

"Why I'm up at this time on a Saturday I don't know." Bethany whines as she enters followed by Sarah.

"I don't think this flat will fit anymore people in it..." I mutter before Carla appears back at my side, supporting Ella in her arms.

"This is Ella." Carla smiles at them and Gail rushes over.

"Hello Emma!" She beams, stroking her face.

"Ella." I correct but she doesn't take any notice.

"Can I hold her?" Mum asks and Carla gives me a wary look before passing her over. "Aren't you a darling?" She coos before Ella starts to cry.

"Mum's usual charm." David nudges me.

"What's the matter?" Gail looks at me worriedly. "Why does she start crying when she's passed to me?"

"It's the effect you have." Sarah tells her.

"Go back to Carla then." She passes Ella back to Carla who soothes her quietly. She soon stops crying and it makes me smile.

"This is your family." She tells her gently.

"That's probably why she's crying." David grunts and I laugh. It was true, she was in for a bumpy ride being half Carla and half me...

 **12:06pm**

"Bye." I say for what feels like the millionth time as I slam the door. "Flipping heck..."

"I thought they'd never go." Carla sighs as she breast feeds Ella.

"I'm sorry." I kiss the top of her head, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"Well they had to meet her at some point!" She reminds me. "May as well get it over with."

"I'm shattered." I mutter.

"Go get your head down." She smiles at me, tilting Ella's head forward slightly.

"No that's ok." I brush her off, watching as she feeds off her mother. It was pretty amazing, she looked so content.

"Nick." She raises her eyebrows at me. "Go and get some sleep."

"It's not fair on you!" I object.

"Well then later on, you can look after her and cook me tea whilst I sleep." She grins.

"Oh can I now?" I smile down at her. "...Ok. I love you."

"I love you too." She whispers and kisses me before I head off to the bedroom.


	33. Chapter 33

I lean up against the wall outside the nursery, a smile coating my face as I listen to Nick's murmurs from inside. "And then we can take you to the park; I'll teach you how to play football and mummy can take you on the swings..." He whispers before I turn to lean up against the door frame. He had his back to me, bouncing Ella lightly in his arms, whispering into her soft head.

I don't say anything, I just watch, watch as he gives our daughter the life and love that I never had before approaching him quietly and wrapping my arms round his waist. He jumps slightly at my touch, unaware that I had been listening and I kiss him on the cheek softly, my arms tightening around him.

"Morning." I whisper into his skin.

"I didn't know you were there." He mutters, slightly embarrassed.

"It was cute." I giggle and he lets out a slight groan.

"You hate it when I call you cute." He sighs and I bite my lip. "You can't have it both ways."

"Hello baby." I open my mouth wide at Ella who was looking at me over Nick's shoulder. "Morning cuddles with daddy is it?"

"I couldn't sleep." He tells me and I finally release my grip on him.

"Oh... Ok." I nod as he turns to face me. "So that's why you're in a bad mood then?"

"I'm not in a bad mood!" He retorts seeing my expression. "Carla!"

"Daddy's grumpy in the mornings isn't he." I tickle Ella under the chin and he shoots me a look which can't help but be turned into a smile.

"I'm only winding you up." I tease as he passes Ella to me. "Look at your beautiful eyes. You've got daddy's eyes haven't you?"

"Our eyes are practically the same colour." He points out, looking into mine. It was true, we both had green eyes, which Ella had naturally inherited. "Uh, I was wondering whether I could go into work for a few hours today?"

"Nick you don't have to ask." I grin, bouncing my baby up and down on the spot. "Besides I was thinking about taking her into Underworld today, showing her to the girls."

"Ok." He nods, watching me for a few seconds until I raise my eyebrows.

"What?" I frown.

"I can't believe you ever doubted yourself as a mother." He smiles before he walks off, which leaves me rooted to the spot, dwelling on the thought. I turn my head to look at Ella and kiss her forehead.

"Neither can I." I whisper silently into her soft skin.

 **10:30am**

"Hey." I call as I enter Underworld, baby carrier in one hand and a bag filled with nappies and baby wipes in the other. Never did I think I'd be entering my factory like this.

"Oh my Gosh!" Sean yelps and everyone turns to look at me, gasping.

"How are you?" Sinead squeals, jumping up from her seat as everyone follows suit.

"Is this her?" Beth points at Ella excitedly.

"No that's just some baby she's brought in from the street..." Fiz rolls her eyes.

"What is all the racket out here?" Aidan yells before laying his eyes on me. "Dad, look what the cat dragged in."

"My goodness, hello sweetheart." Johnny beams, coming over to hug me then looking down at my baby girl. "Aren't you a doll?"

"Ella May Tilsley." I announce to everyone and they coo quietly.

"Does she keep you up all night?" Kate asks, her eyes wide.

"She hasn't been too bad actually." I shake my head. "Not much of a crier, except when Gail holds her."

"Naturally." Sean nods.

"So how have things been going here?" I question, my eyes darting around the factory briefly. "Not out of business yet I see."

"Told you you could trust us." Aidan grins. "Can I hold her?"

"Aidan Connor wants to hold a baby?" I laugh and his eyes narrow. "Yeah, go ahead, just don't drop her." I unstrap her and pick her up gently before passing her to Aidan.

"How did you breed something so beautiful?" He jibes, staring down at her.

"Mm, charming." I stick my tongue out at him. "If she receives anymore compliments she'll grow up as vain as you."

"Not inherited your vanity yet then." He retorts quietly and I shake my head at the girls.

 **11:49am**

"Ooh, busy in here." I enter the Bistro, putting a sleeping Ella down in her seat on the bar as Nick spots us.

"Hello beautiful." He kisses me.

"Isn't that a nice greeting?" I smile.

"I was talking to her." He points to Ella and I flash him a sarcastic smile before kissing him again.

"Ey, break it up, you'll put customers off their food." Andy intervenes from the other side of the bar. "Ah, this is the little one."

"It is indeed." I stretch my arms out onto the counter, yawning.

"Well she's very sweet." He observes her. "I won't wake her though."

"Andy?" Robert yells from the kitchen and he rolls his eyes.

"Back to the madhouse." He takes one last look at Ella before entering the kitchen.

"So much for paternity leave hmm?" I wrap my arms around Nick's neck.

"Uh, so much for _maternity_ leave." He raises his eyebrows. "I'll bet you were straight behind that desk checking the orders."

"Nope." I shake my head, grinning.

"Hmm, I'll be checking with Aidan." He kisses me on the forehead and my need for him grows stronger. I wanted him to hold me forever. I was in one of those cuddly moods where I never wanted to let go and I just wanted to be loved. I was pleased, because I thought that might fade after becoming a mother.

"Nick..." I wrap his tie around my fingers, my eyes focused on it as he places more kisses on my skin.

"Carla..." He whines in the same voice to imitate me and I slap him lightly. I am about to go in and kiss him again before Ella starts crying wildly and I let out a slight groan, as does he. "I'll get her."

"Nah, I'll do it." I sigh, reluctantly letting go of him. "She wants feeding..." I look cautiously around the room. "...Am I allowed to do that like... Here?"

"It's my restaurant and you're my fiancé so yes you are." He smiles and I pull an awkward face as I pick Ella up and her crying slows.

"Um..." I mutter, still wary of feeding her in a public place. Nick comes over and wraps his arms around the both of us.

"It's fine." He whispers into my ear and I brush him off.

"Ok!" I exclaim and he moves back, smile on his face.

"I have to go take table nine's order." He points over to where a family were sitting. "I'll be back in a sec."

"Ok, we can do this can't we?" I ask Ella quietly, unbuttoning my shirt slightly and moving her head towards my nipple. She immediately starts sucking on it and I am satisfied with her contentment. I still hadn't got used to this feeling, it was like a connection between me and her, as if she was part of me again.

"See no one is staring." I suddenly hear Nick next to me, tearing my eyes away from Ella.

"Nicholas!" I scold, quietly, so as not to disturb her. "Can you not do that please? You scared me."

"Yeah well you scared me this morning." He points out.

"I was trying to be cute." I tell him.

"I thought you didn't like being cute." He grins and I glare at him.

"...Shut up." I mutter, having no other comebacks.

"Got you." He nudges me. "Cutie."

"Stop it!" I whine but with a smile on my face. "Can you not do this whilst I'm feeding our daughter? You'll put me off."

"Oh right..." He nods. "Have to push some buttons do you?"

"I'll be pushing your buttons in a minute." I threaten.

"Kinky." He whispers and I bite my lip.

"Not here." I elbow him. It wasn't hard to establish that we were both in the same mood, as we had been since my entrance to the Bistro. It was one of those times where we couldn't let go of each other and we would constantly be flirting as if we were just getting to know one another. "...Later."

"Ok deal." He nods and then hesitates before saying something else. "She gets them now, I get them later."

"Nick!" I mouth, having the urge to yell at him. "That's disgusting!"

"Yeah yeah." He raises his eyebrows before walking off.

 **4:17pm**

"You took a while." I am flicking through a magazine on the sofa when he enters.

"Sorry." I see him shrug as I turn my head to look at him. "Where's baby T?"

"Baby T?" I sigh exasperatedly. "...She's sleeping, well at least I hope she's sleeping. It took me ages to get her off..." I am distracted by how Nick throws his arms around me from behind the sofa and starts kissing my skin seductively. "...I put on this baby channel on thinking it might help but I should have realised she was too young for it..." I continue to try and talk to tease him as he pulls my hair to one side, kissing down the back of my neck. "I ended up getting transfixed by all the animal noises on this farm programme..."

"Animal noises." He mumbles into me and it makes me want to laugh. I finally turn to meet his eyes and his forehead rests on mine momentarily before he moves on to kissing my lips.

"You've been waiting for this all day haven't you?" I whisper into him, with a smile. "That's why you were so grumpy this morning. You had no morning sex."

"I'm sure you'd love to know how much you can effect me Mrs Connor." He murmurs. "However I will not give you that satisfaction."

"Oh won't you now?" I flash him a cheeky smile, parting and taking his hand, leading him towards the bedroom. "We'll see about that."


	34. Chapter 34

"Nick!" I hear Carla yell, knowing I was in trouble. "I told you not to put the dirty nappies in the kitchen bin!"

"...Well where am I supposed to put them?" I frown, entering the room. "The compost heap?"

"The bathroom bin." She corrects me. "Like I told you. You put them in here and they'll stink the room out."

"Well I'll go take them out in a bit." I tell her. "...Listen, I've been talking to Chelle and she said she would be happy to babysit today."

"...Why would we want her to babysit?" Her eyes narrow.

"Well I thought maybe we could have a day in." I shrug. "Just the two of us."

"...Why?" She pesters.

"Uh, because we've had no alone time since the baby was born." I point out.

"We're drowning in alone time!" She exclaims. "It's hardly like she's up walking and talking and making a mess."

"No but when we're arguing over which bin to put the nappies in its not exactly our finest moment is it?" I continue and watch as she sighs before going to open the freezer, pulling out a bag of onion rings. "What are you doing?"

"Cooking some onion rings." She tells me, as if it was just a natural thing to do. "You want some?"

"It's nine thirty in the morning..." I trail off. "Plus you never cook... Where did you even get those?"

"From a shop Nicholas." She raises her eyebrows at me. "What you think some dreaded ex brought them round or something?"

"...No I just mean that I don't understand why you're eating onion rings for breakfast." I mutter.

"Because I want to eat some. Is that a problem?" She almost yells and I look slightly taken-aback.

"...Are we seriously having an argument about onion rings?" I ask cautiously and she sighs as she shoves them in the oven.

"...I'm sorry." She rubs her eyes, exhaling deeply. "I'm just shattered."

"Go back to bed." I approach her. "You were up half the night with Ella."

"I'm fine... She needs feeding anyway..." She mumbles and I wrap my arms around her.

"You don't have to prove yourself." I whisper, expecting her to yell something back but she doesn't, she just soaks up my comfort.

"Look I just don't think I can leave her yet." She finally admits.

"Ok well family day in then?" I negotiate and she smiles up at me.

 **12:10pm**

"She's asleep." Carla announces, entering the kitchen as I pass her a plate of butties.

"Finally." I sigh, sitting down on the sofa as she follows me. I turn the tv on and Carla screws her nose up as I flick through the channels. "Cookery show... News... Another cookery show... Something about cars... Something about insects... Another cookery show... News... Another cookery-"

"Ok so we've gathered there's enough cookery shows on television." She interrupts me.

"Maybe you should watch them." I suggest. "Make some notes."

"Haha..." She rolls her eyes at me and I hesitate before turning the TV off and striking up another conversation.

"Carla, sweetheart." I stroke her hair softly and she turns to look at me at the sudden change of tone. "You haven't slept properly in days..."

"Yeah well that's the fun that comes with having a kid." She says quietly. "We both said this wouldn't be easy."

"You need to rest." I persist and she rolls her eyes before putting her plate down on the coffee table. "All this stress isn't gonna be good for-"

"Nick will you just shut up?" She suddenly snaps before getting up and marching over to the kitchen. She lets out a long exhale as she puts her hands on her hips and faces the back of the room.

"...Why don't you go out for a bit?" I suggest hesitantly. "Staying cooped up in this flat clearly isn't doing you any good."

"I'm perfectly fine!" She yells at me, knocking a glass over in the process as it falls off the side and smashes into pieces. Ella immediately starts crying at the sudden disruption and I rise to go and tend to her.

"I'll go." I say but she moves towards the nursery anyway.

"No I will." She snaps and I freeze in position as she slams the nursery door behind her. I wait for what seems like forever for Ella to calm and lean my head up against the door, embracing the silence. I think that perhaps she has started up again until I realise it wasn't a babies cry, it was a quiet whimper. Carla was crying.

I wait. Not wanting to be too forceful. Today was a bad day and I knew to keep my distance. Instead I go over and clean the shards of glass off the floor, wrapping them in kitchen towel before dispensing them in the bin. Then I go to put the kettle on, making Carla a brew before carrying it over and cautiously knocking on the nursery door. There is no answer, so I just open it carefully.

She's sat in a heap on the floor, shaking, Ella asleep again in her cot. I place the mug down on the shelf, observing her calmly.

We don't say anything, both aware of one another's presence. I don't go and offer her a hug or support or any kind words because I know it's best to leave her until she makes the first move.

Which she does. After a few minutes she rises, staring at the floor as she does so and walks over to me. I don't hesitate before wrapping my arms around her, feeling her shaking beneath my skin.

 **7:31pm**

I let her sleep, staying by her side for hours, just stroking her hair, only getting up if Ella wakes. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, so beautiful.

We hadn't said a word to one another since our argument, it had been purely telepathic communication of me holding her and then carrying her to bed when she fell asleep in my arms.

"Mmm..." She mumbles suddenly as I smooth the hair off her face.

"Hey." I dare to whisper and her face immediately crumbles.

"Oh God... Nick I'm so sorry." She remembers.

"Shh." I smile, kissing her on the forehead.

"Where's Ella?" She suddenly panics.

"She's fine." I soothe her and she calms a little. "I've been out to change her nappy and put her back to sleep... And don't worry I put it in the bathroom bin."

"...I'm such a bitch." She covers her face with her palm.

"You're not." I argue. "You're a mother who's taking on too much at once... Carla why do you think I'm here? I want to help you."

"I know." She sighs, nestling her head into my chest.

"Listen to me." I tilt her head slightly so she can look into my eyes. "Listen. It's going to be alright. I promise."


	35. Chapter 35

I leave the bedroom to see Nick dancing around in the kitchen with Ella, holding a bottle to her lips. He sees me almost instantly and flashes me a smile as he continues bouncing her up and down repetitively.

"Morning mummy." Nick says in an adorable voice and my heart melts slightly. "Mummy's up late today isn't she ey?" He begins to talk to Ella, who is just focused on sucking all of the contents out of the bottle.

"Mummy apologises for sleeping in." I grin as I approach them, kissing Nick first on the lips before placing one on Ella's head. I then go to get some toast out of the toaster and flick my head around to face him as I do so. "And she wants to thank daddy for doing the night feeds again and getting up early to tend to the little one."

"That's ok." He whispers to me and I flash him a smile before turning back to making breakfast.

"Toast?" I ask him and he nods before I go back over to them. "Because some of us aren't lucky enough to have our breakfast fed to us like that are we?" I put on a funny voice which makes Nick laugh. "Little princess."

"Gets that from her mummy." He interjects.

"I will take that as a compliment." I go to kiss him again and he returns it before Ella hiccups.

"Oops." He removes the bottle and slings her over his shoulder, patting her back gently.

"Greedy." I scold her, tickling her under the chin. "That's something you got from daddy."

"Shush you." He nudges me and I giggle.

 **11:43am**

"What do you think she dreams about?" Nick asks me as I slouch on him. We were sat on the sofa whilst she slept in her carry cot next to us.

"I don't know." I narrow my eyes. "But she sleeps a lot."

"I think that's a God send babe." He points out and I laugh.

"...And it gives us chance to maybe talk about the wedding." I hint and his hands freeze in my hair.

"You want to talk about the wedding?" He asks and I nod.

"Unless... You only proposed to me because of the pregnancy." I murmur.

"Carla!" He protests. "Course I didn't, don't say that."

"Then let's start sorting it out Nicholas!" I exclaim, turning to face him, my eyes glittering with excitement.

"Well you should be used to it by now." He scoffs. "This is the fifth wedding you've had to prepare for."

"And this one is going to be the best." I smile, kissing him.

"Yeah well I have a lot to live up to." He sighs and I roll my eyes at him.

"No you don't." I kiss him again. "You just be yourself... And don't sleep with anyone else on our wedding night."

"Like I'd ever dream of doing that." He runs a finger down my cheek.

"I know you wouldn't." I whisper, my eyes gliding up to where I am running my fingers through his hair. "I trust you."

"Well good." He murmurs into my skin. "Because you're marrying me."

 **2:18pm**

"Centre pieces." He points out and I add it to the list.

"Ok so we've got..." I skim read the list. "Dress, venues, food, guests, suit, best mans suit, bridesmaid dresses, chair covers, music, band, hair, transport, decorations and centre pieces..."

"...Not cheap marrying you is it?" He raises his eyebrows.

"You should know that by now." I grin. "Plus I'm sure I'll find loads more to add."

"It's a good job I love you isn't it?" He sighs.

"Well that's always a promising factor in a wedding." I retaliate before moving on to the next topic. "Let's talk about guests."

"Ok..." He's laughing at my excitement but I don't care.

"Chelle will obviously be my matron of honour." I inform him. "Your best man?"

"Jesus, are we getting married tomorrow?" His eyes widen. "...I don't know."

"Pick a friend." I look at him. "Any friend... If you have any."

"David." He shrugs.

"David's your brother." I laugh.

"So?" He nudges me.

"Mind you, Tony had his brother at our wedding..." I trail off.

"Oh great, I'm being compared to Tony Gordon, wonderful." He rolls his eyes.

"You never even met him." I object, though why I was defending Tony I didn't know.

"No." He shakes his head. "But he burnt my business to the ground... And he tried to kill you so I hate him."

"Well at least that's something we agree on." I sigh and he runs his fingers through my hair to soothe my thoughts. "Anyway, David then."

"Could we have Max as a page boy and Lily and Bethany as bridesmaids?" He questions.

"You don't have to ask that." I laugh. "This is your wedding too, sure they can... As long as Bethany doesn't step on my dress."

"And Ella obviously." He adds, pointing to where I have made a column for special guests and their roles in the wedding.

"Yes!" She adds her name excitedly. "Ah, Bethany could carry her down the aisle or push her pram."

"You'd seriously trust her to do that?" He laughs and I shrug.

"Your mother and gran." I begin a different guests column. "Sarah and Kylie and Roy..."

"You'll want all your workers there surely." He indicates.

"Uh... Will I want all of them?" I contemplate, writing down Fiz, Sean and Sally's names before hesitating. "Oh let's just put all of them in; Beth, Kirk, Sinead, Izzy, Eva, Alya..."

"What about your family?" He asks and I frown.

"My family?" I laugh. "My family are dead or jailed, except Chelle. I don't think they'll be able to make it baby."

"I mean Aidan, Johnny and Kate." He persists.

"...Wouldn't exactly call them family but I suppose." I shrug, writing their names down. "Ken... Should I invite any of the other Barlow's? I'm really not feeling like having Tracy there."

"Well he'll have my gran to keep him company." Nick points out and I nod. "Andy, Steph, Robert... Leanne?"

"Having your ex at your wedding?" I raise my eyebrows. "Really? Plus she doesn't even like me."

"Yeah ok scrap that." He bites his lip. "She can hold the fort at the Bistro."

"Sinead will want to bring Chesney and Fiz will want Tyrone. Tim for Sally." I add them to the list. "Chelle will want to bring Steve, Roy will want Cathy there."

"So remind me who on the street we haven't invited?" He nudges me and I stick my tongue out playfully. 


	36. Chapter 36

"I'm going to see Chelle this morning if that's ok with you?" I call as I leave the bedroom, actually dressed up in my old style clothes for the first time in what feels like forever. I was still carrying I bit of baby weight so had to wear my maternity black jeans with a belt to tighten them. "I'll take Ella with me so you can go into work if you like?"

"You look nice." He smiles at me, raising his head from the washing up.

"Ah thank you." I spray a bit of perfume on before going over to him. I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss him on the neck as he continues doing the washing up. "...I'm going to talk to her about the wedding." I try and catch his attention.

"Mm?" He mumbles. "What about it?"

"Well all the girly elements to it." I slide my head onto his shoulder. "Like the dress."

"We haven't even set a date yet." He chuckles.

"I know but I'm excited." I whine slightly, like a kitten that was needy for attention. "Aren't you excited?" I turn to whisper into his neck.

"Yes, course I am." He finally turns to look at me and I bite my lip as I move my arms to wrap them around his neck. "It's just that it could be ages away."

"Well then let's set a date." My eyes widen and he rolls his eyes.

"Carla." He sighs. "Why are you rushing things? We've just had a baby."

"So..." I frown. "I don't like taking things slow Nicholas." I grin then, nudging my nose against his. "Mmm?"

"...Ok then." He smiles and I giggle, pulling him in and kissing him passionately.

 **10:54am**

"Hello." I greet Michelle as I enter the Rovers, carrying Ella's travel seat as I do so.

"Hiya." She grins when she's sees me before bending down to say hello to my baby girl. "Hi Ella." She coos, picking her up out of her chair without bothering to ask and holding her in her arms.

"Is that auntie Chelle?" I ask her, despite the fact she has no clue what we are saying.

"Don't you have a push chair?" She frowns as she bounces Ella up and down slightly.

"Well yeah." I shrug. "But while she's still small I thought I'd use this... Plus it can sometimes feel like a handbag so..."

"Mm." Michelle gives me a look with a smile on her face. "Through to the back?"

"Carla, is this the little one?" Rita comes over to look at her, with Norris trailing behind. "What a sweetheart."

"Ella." I smile as she strokes her skin softly.

"What a beautiful name." She compliments.

"We sell lots of dieting books at the Kabin." Norris informs me.

"Sorry..." I frown, trailing off when I realise what he was referring to, although I am aware he probably didn't mean it in that way.

"I mean, after pregnancy..." He tries to cover up and is given a forceful glare by Rita.

"Norris!" She slaps him lightly. "...Come on we're going. Sorry Carla."

"That's really ok." I mutter as they leave and I give Michelle a look before she leads me through to the back.

"So you said you wanted to talk." She says, laying Ella down back in her carry seat once we were settled in the back room.

"We've started planning the wedding." I come straight out with it, folding my arms on the table.

"Ah, how exciting." Her eyes light up.

"Well yeah that's what I said!" I exclaim. "Nick doesn't seem all too bothered though."

"Yeah well the men never care do they?" She rolls her eyes. "You and me both know that. Steve told me I could plan all of our wedding because I was a party planner."

"Well that's partly the reason I came." I grin. "...Plus the fact that you're my best friend."

"Hmm." She smiles at me. "Ok, where do you want to get started?"

"Well I saw this gorgeous dress in this magazine I was looking through." I babble. "Couldn't show Nick obviously. Problem is, I just feel like nothing is going to compare to the one Hayley made me at my last wedding..."

"You could always wear it again." She suggests and I freeze at the question.

"What?" I frown. "...No. No, I can't wear the same dress twice. Plus she was there to see me wear it so..."

"Ok well then don't try to top it." She shrugs.

"What do you mean?" I narrow my eyes.

"Sweetheart." She sighs, taking my hand in her's. "You know Nick would marry you in anything. You could walk down the aisle in a tracksuit for all he cares."

"Ew..." I picture the idea. "Well that'd be an original wedding."

"It's not a competition is it?" She continues. "The important thing is that you're getting married."

 **5:20pm**

"You're back late." Nick says as I open the door to the flat.

"Yeah sorry, I got carried away at Chelle's and then we went for a walk around the Red Wreck afterwards." I explain.

"Carla Connor going round the park in her heels?" His eyes widen. "I'm surprised the paparazzi weren't out."

"Shut up." I can't help but laugh as I place Ella's seat on the floor and cuddle up next to him on the sofa.

"...This wedding." He finally pipes up after a few minutes of staring blankly at the TV. "How does the twenty sixth of August sound to you?"

"Pick a random date Nicholas." I laugh.

"It's not a random date." He mumbles. "It's the date I booked today."

"...Are you serious?" I ask him, my eyes wide as he nods. I practically jump on him then, smothering him in kisses as he tries to fend me off. "I love you!"

"Thanks." He finally grabs hold of me and looks deeply into my eyes, seriousness overcoming him all of a sudden. "I love you too."

Then we are kissing and kissing and I wish it would never stop.


	37. Chapter 37

"Ok so don't kill me." I hesitate before entering the bedroom, with two mugs in my hand.

"Can't guarantee that." Carla jokes, although I was still wary.

"...I've asked Chelle if she'll look after Ella today." I begin to babble. "Because I think we should go look at some wedding venues and we really need a day to ourselves where we just don't think about morning feeds and changing nappies and sick everywhere. Chelle said it was fine and she would love to have her and it gives us the chance to go into town and get a few things sorted and I'll take you for lunch..."

"You finished?" She asks and I nod slowly. "Good." She hesitated before reaching her arms out and pulling me onto the bed. "Come here!" She laughs as she practically attacks me with hugs and kisses, tickling me everywhere until I'm laughing too.

"Carla!" I try and fight her off. "Stop!"

"Noo." She teases, licking her lips slightly before suddenly pausing in front of me. Her eyes connect with mine and she places a passionate kiss on my lips before moving to my neck.

"Not now." I tell her reluctantly as I feel the suction against my sensitive spots.

"Mm..." She mumbles into me. "Try saying that believably."

"Carla..." I sigh slightly and she finally withdraws herself from my neck, moving her head to rest against mine.

"You can't say no to me." She teases in a seductive voice, running her fingers up my left arm until they reach the hem of my t-shirt sleeve at my shoulder.

"I know I can't." I object as she moves her head to kiss my arm, her hair softly brushing my cheek. "That's why I need you to be the strong one." I use my free hand to wrap it round my finger and she moves down to place a kiss on my hand before linking it with hers.

"You know I'm never the strong one when you're around." She says in a more serious tone, my eyes narrowing slightly as I take in the woman in front of me. She was so beautiful, it was unbelievable. Everything about her was just perfect.

"No one has to know that though." I whisper and she shakes her head nudging my nose against hers which we both giggle at.

"Mmm..." She lets out a satisfied noise that makes my stomach flip. How was it that even the slightest sound she makes can cause my heart to beat twice as fast?

"You're gonna kill me Carla Connor." I mumble as she starts to kiss me again.

"I know." She sighs, in between the intense kisses. "And it'll be a lot less painful if you just give in to it."

 **10:38am**

"Do you want red sauce or brown?" Carla grins at me as I slap her bum with a tea towel.

"Do you know me at all?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Just thought I'd offer." She smiles as she squirts lashings of red sauce on my butty. She doesn't even put it on a plate, just wafts it under my nose. "Get that down your neck Tilsley, we've got a busy day ahead."

"I'd rather have you down my neck..." Is what I come out with, which sounds kind of creepy but she doesn't seem to care.

"Mm, kinky." She bites her lip seductively, going in to kiss me again. As much as I loved Ella, I had missed these mornings, where we could just play around in the kitchen, indulging in one another's company.

 **11:52am**

"So tell me what the plan is." She says cheerily, linking her hand with mine as we walk down the street.

"I'm suddenly the wedding planner now am I?" I kiss her on the side of the head.

"Ha, no." She laughs. "But today was your idea, so tell me what we're doing."

"Ok." I hesitate slightly. "I've booked somewhere for us to have a viewing."

"Ooh where?" Her eyes light up.

"Laser Quest." I tell her and her face suddenly falls.

"Ey?" She panics.

"Car, I'm joking." I laugh at her concerned expression and a wave of relief sweeps over her as she slaps me lightly.

"Nick!" She whines. "Don't scare me like that."

"You're so gullible." I tease her.

"No I am not." She whines. "Seriously where are we going?"

"Floralis Hall." I inform her and her eyes widen.

"Woah..." She gasps. "You can't afford that can you?"

"Uh thanks." I scoff. "I own a business..."

"Ooh sorry." She giggles. "So do I."

"I wouldn't be looking if I couldn't afford it would I?" I ask her and she bites her lip.

"I love you." She smiles.

 **9:17pm**

"So... What did you think?" I ask after a long silence as she chews her food. We were finally eating dinner after I had taken her shopping following our tour around the venue and I'd booked a posh restaurant nearby for afterwards.

"Ew, it was horrible." She screws her nose up and I raise my eyebrows. "My turn to make a joke."

"Yeah except I'm not as gullible." I point out and she puts down her fork, staring straight at me. "What?"

"Mm..." She reaches over the table and takes my hand, a distant look in her eye.

"...Seriously what?" I persist.

"I was just thinking." She smiles and I wait for more explanation but there was none.

"About what?" I laugh and she bites her lip.

"I was just thinking..." She repeats and I knew then she was gonna say something cringey. "Why we didn't realise sooner?"

"...Carla babe, you're gonna have to give me something." I chuckle. "I'm not a mind reader."

"I just wish I'd known... How I could ever love someone like this..." She pulls an awkward face and my heart melts slightly. "Like anyone I've ever fallen in love with... Or thought I was in love with... Wasn't right. Clearly. But this just fits... And I could've skipped all the heartache if I'd have realised sooner."

There's a long pause as I look into her green eyes and she blushes, dipping her head towards the table, her shiny hair falling over her face. She was beautiful. I felt like the luckiest man in the world, but the silence was embarrassing her.

"It sounds so cheesy..." She finally mumbles, not meeting my eye. "But you've made me so happy... And I'm not one for speeches like this so accept it."

"I can tell." I finally muster and she looks at me, the slightest smile on her face. I suddenly realise that I'm not hungry, all I want is to show how much I love her. I let go of her hand and push my plate away, dumping a few notes on the table. "Hey, here's your bill, keep the change." I tell one of the waiters and grab her hand, pulling her up.

"Nick!" She looks shocked at my sudden change of heart. "That's like eighty quid."

"Come on." I grin and push her up against the wall as soon as we're out of the restaurant, kissing her instantly.

"I was enjoying that food." She bites her lip when we part.

"Mm." I lean my forehead against hers. "Sorry about that."

"Well I'm glad my little speech did it justice." She giggles and I brush a lock of hair out of her face.

"Yeah well I had no words to reply with." I whisper and I kiss her again before she breaks off, looking into my eyes.

"Marry me." She says and I frown.

"...Don't worry I will." I force a laugh.

"No." She shakes her head, seriousness in her voice. "Marry me now."

"...Carla." I manage to stutter before staring at her in silence. "...Don't be silly."

"I'm not." She murmurs. "I don't need all this fancy stuff and fancy venues and food and guests and-"

"You are Carla Connor right?" I ask.

"No, Carla Tilsley." She smiles, linking her hand with mine.

"You're actually serious?" I whisper and she nods. "You really want to do this?"

"Nick." She kisses me again before focusing on me steadily. I could see in her eyes everything that I ever wanted, everything she ever was and everything that she could be. It was the same look that I fell in love with. The same emotions run through me as they did the day I fell in love with her. "I love you."

"I love you too." I tell her and I've never been more honest about the three words. I wipe a tear from her cheek before grabbing her hand and she giggles as she pulls me after her, running off into the sunset, running off into our future together.

 _ **...Sorry but I had to finish it guys. It just seemed like a suitable time and I can't write two at once! I hope you all enjoyed it and I'm sure there will be loadsssss more Narla stories in the future. Love you all for your lovely reviews and kind words, you've motivated me to update so thank you!xx**_


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